


My Life To Live

by Aria6



Category: Bleach
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, M/M, Mpreg, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 74,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria6/pseuds/Aria6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the final battle, Coyote Starrk is saved by Aizen. But why? What is behind that act of mercy? Nothing he knew was the truth and with the breaking of Aizen's shikai, it all comes out. What will the consequences be? Shunsui/Starrk/Juushiro, there will be mpreg! Sorry if you don't like that. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Another fic where Starrk turned out to be Aizen's son inspired this. XD I just took the idea and ran with it… opinions please?

_It hurts._ The blow across his chest… how it hurt. Starrk gasped softly as he felt his hollow hole crumpling under the force of it. Yet the sensation was strangely distant. Almost unreal. He met the shinigami's eyes for a moment and saw nothing but a bit of sadness in those grey orbs. _It hurts so much._ He couldn't hold himself up. The pain was too much, his strength was flowing away. As he fell he looked up to see Aizen…

"?" Starrk's breath went out in a soundless question as white clad arms caught him. _Aizen…_ Brown eyes met grey and Starrk was surprised by the concern on Aizen's face. He was only a soldier. Soldiers fell in battle and he'd fought as hard as he could. Why was Aizen…?

He couldn't ask. There was no breath in his lungs. Aizen gently set him down onto the broken stone and ran a hand along his chest. Starrk blinked as he felt the power of the Hogyoku, felt the broken and torn flesh mending beneath that touch. Aizen said nothing to him, just ensuring his survival before he flew away. With more questions than answers, Starrk could only watch. His wounds were still severe, just non-lethal. And they were making his head spin. As he became dizzier and dizzier, he could no longer hold out.

Dazed and confused, Starrk finally passed out.

* * *

The next time he woke up, it was to blinding pain.

Starrk groaned, slowly managing to pry his eyes open. They felt stiff and gummy. Blinking up into the painful sun, he winced. That hurt, more than a bit. A large part of him just wanted to go back to sleep –

_Don't you dare!_ Starrk's eyes went wide at that voice in his head. _Get up! Get up Starrk! You're going to be in big trouble if you don't start moving!_

"Lilinette?" Starrk forced himself into a sitting position, groaning in pain. Reaching down he ran a shaking hand over the deep cut in his chest. It was scabbed over but it was… "What." Starrk went pale as his hand encountered unbroken chest. "Where is my hollow hole?" It wasn't there. Reaching up he touched the mask fragments or rather, tried to. They were completely non-existent. "Where are my mask fragments?!" That was completely wrong. What was happening to him? What had happened to him? Lilinette sighed in his mind.

_You never had a hole. You never had mask fragments. You're not a hollow._ She said shortly and Starrk stared away, wide-eyed. What was she saying? Of course he was a hollow… _Look, don't worry about it now. STARRK!_ The snap of her voice recalled him to reality and he blinked. _Take off your clothes!_

"Wait, what?!" This was getting more surreal by the moment. What on earth was she suggesting?

_Just trying to get your attention… okay, seriously though. Right now you're in an arrancar uniform. Find a dead shinigami to strip and change your clothes._ Starrk shoved himself to his feet, gritting his teeth at the pain. He was severely hurt, even with Aizen's healing. But he managed to shuffle along, looking for a corpse. _We lost in case you're wondering._

"I had gathered." He said with a pained laugh. "Although I can't regret it…" He'd never said anything because he was in too deep, but the creation of the oken had pained him. So many deaths… bizarre, for a hollow to care about that but the razing of Karakura town had sit ill with him. Starrk was honestly glad it hadn't happened.

_You care because you're not a hollow, Starrk. Although given what you are it's a miracle you do care._ That made him want to question her, desperately, but Lilinette was right. He needed to change his clothes. Apparently he could pass as shinigami if he just had the right clothes… finding a convenient body he began to strip off the black fabric, murmuring a small apology to the man. It wasn't a kind thing to do, leaving him almost naked, but Starrk had no choice. Pulling off his white uniform he donned the shinigami one. _Good! Now incinerate the body and your old clothes._ Lilinette directed and Starrk blinked.

"Huh? Oh, right." Starrk cringed a little internally, but his… what was Lilinette, exactly?... was right. Charging a cero he incinerated the body. Although it wasn't a cero. If he'd had to define it, he would have described it a kind of raw reiatsu burst. The power behind it was definitely shinigami…

Quickly walking off, Starrk decided he needed to leave the ruins of fake Karakura town. He would be safer outside of the area. Along the way he saw several shinigami but none of them approached him. And why should they? He looked and felt like one of them.

_I'm helping you too. You're still scary strong, Starrk._ Lilinette commented and he nodded, unsurprised. Finally decided they had gone far enough, he found a convenient set of steps to sit on and speak to his… what?

"Lilinette. First, I want to know. What are you?" Starrk said firmly. She was only in his head at the moment. Was she part of his soul again? There was a soft sigh.

_Draw your sword._ Starrk frowned but followed the suggestion, drawing his sword and gazing into the surface. It was a fine weapon, although nothing more – _I'm right here Starrk. I'm your zanpakuto._

"…" Starrk stared at the mirrored surface and for a moment, he saw Lilinette's face. But not her face as an arrancar… there was no mask fragment, only a girl with green hair and one eye. The other was covered with an eyepatch. Then the image faded away and he was looking at his own reflection. "And what am I?" He asked, his mind cushioned by shock.

_You're a shinigami. You always were. Aizen kept it from you for your own safety._ Starrk couldn't hide his disbelief at that. His safety? Why would Aizen concern himself with that? _Because you're more important than you think. You're his son, Starrk._

"I'm WHAT?" Starrk's eyes widened before he took a very deep breath, controlling his reactions. He wanted to scream, demand answers but that wasn't the way to handle this. He needed to stay calm. "Please start from the beginning." Maybe that would be easier. Maybe then he could grasp how he could possibly be Aizen's offspring. There was a pause before Lilinette began to speak.

_You know when Aizen found us in the desert? That never happened. It's a false memory. It'll probably start to fade away soon. You were made by Szayel using Aizen's genetic material._ Starrk swallowed hard at that. _Um, and a female donor. His old fukutaichou, Hinamori Momo._

"I have a mother?" That thought fascinated him. But… "She doesn't know about me, does she?" He was pretty sure. Lilinette made an affirmative sound.

_She has no idea. I'm not sure how he got her eggs, who knows, but she definitely didn't give them willingly._ Starrk sighed. He couldn't approach her then. _Aizen really did care for her in his weird as hell way. He wanted something of her to keep with him after she was gone._

"I see… but why trick everyone into thinking I was a hollow? Why trick me?" He asked. That confused him greatly. Lilinette paused for a moment before speaking.

_It was mostly to protect you. You were kind of messed up Starrk. I mean, you're two years old. This is so abnormal it's not even funny. Szayel made it work by feeding you information and speeding up your growth and stuff, but it's still not right._ Lilinette sounded uncomfortable. _Aizen figured that's why you were so lazy and stuff. He wanted to give you time to grow without expectations. And if everyone had known about what you really were, you would've been vulnerable to his enemies and his allies. Gin and Tosen would never have wanted him to have an heir._

"Because they thought they could fill that spot?" Starrk asked questioningly and felt agreement from his sword.

_Tosen especially liked to think of himself as Aizen's successor. Gin… Gin was one hell of a snake. Aizen never guessed he was a traitor but as it turned out, it's really good he didn't know about you._ Lilinette said and Starrk was actually distracted from the initial topic.

"Wait, Gin was a traitor?" It was the first he'd heard of that! It must have happened after the shinigami had defeated him. Although how could Lilinette know?

_I was in contact with Aizen's zanpakuto. He used us to keep an eye on you… She was pretty pissed after Gin tried to stab Aizen in the back. It didn't work, the hogyoku made him immortal. Aizen's imprisoned now, by the way._ Starrk tested his emotions and found he just didn't know how he felt. Aizen was his father but… not in any meaningful way. The most time they'd spent together was when Aizen had taught him chess. It was the only thing he could say they'd truly shared. _Honestly, you shouldn't feel too close to him. He cared for you in his fucked up way but he definitely thought about getting rid of you and trying again, a few times. I managed to convince him that you'd be better after he lifted his shikai from you._

"…" Starrk put his face in his hand. This was just… he didn't have words. Looking down at his hand, he realized he was still wearing his Espada gloves. Pulling them away he wasn't surprised to find there was no tattoo on his hand. "So all the hollow aspects of my appearance were lies created by Aizen's shikai. And you?" He asked as Lilinette laughed.

_Manifested zanpakuto! That's the first step to bankai, you know. You're a prodigy Starrk._ She said merrily and he blinked. _Honestly, that's the real reason he never got rid of you. You inherited his power, but a bit enhanced from what he had Szayel do. No guarantee another kid would get that. He figured he could work on your personality later._

"Err… I think I'm offended." Starrk said after a moment and Lilinette laughed again. "What's wrong with my personality?" Certainly, he had been lazy and unmotivated but what had there been to be motivated about? The deaths of countless innocents? Let's go massacre a town! Inspiring. Lilinette could easily follow the drift of his thoughts.

_I know right? You kind of took after your momma there, she was sweet. Aizen would've liked to have a nasty little copy of himself._ Lilinette said and Starrk grimaced. _But he kept deciding you would do. I think he could see Momo in you, too. That helped._

"I see… What should we do now?" Still trying to absorb everything, Starrk tried to think about his options. "Go to Hueco Mundo?" But he was actually a shinigami. Was that going to be an issue? Lilinette snorted.

_Yeah right. Now that the illusion is broken everyone will see you for what you are. Not a great idea. Unless you want to take up where Aizen left off._ Starrk winced at the thought. He was no Aizen and couldn't pretend to be. _Do you want to get him out of jail?_

"…" Starrk thought about that hard for a moment before shaking his head. "No. He earned it." Aizen's plot to destroy Karakura town had always bothered him. And all the souls that had gone into the hogyoku in Aizen's efforts to construct the oken… ugh. "Does he expect me to?" The last moment where Aizen has saved his life… that made him feel a touch guilty.

_Probably not. I mean, he knows you and he knows all the seals and shit they'll have put on him. You're only one person Starrk._ Lilinette said and he nodded. _I don't think you should waste your life trying to get him out, so that's cool. You know, I think you should stay here, become a shinigami._

"What? But… how could I?" His thoughts went back to the grey eyed taichou. After that battle he would surely remember the Coyote's face. "I know I'm a shinigami but there's at least one person who will remember me." And would have plenty of questions about his survival and current lack of a hollow hole. There was a peal of laughter from his zanpakuto.

_Starrk, you're such a dumbass sometimes!_ Lilinette said and he scowled at his sword. _Where do souls go when they're purified?_

"Eh? Soul Soci – oh." Starrk blinked as he realized where Lilinette's thoughts were going. "Er… has that ever happened before, that a former hollow has come to Soul Society and been recognized?"

_No, but most hollows don't exactly look human. Arrancar are new. Leaving that aside, most powerful hollows are composite souls… several souls blend together to make the dominant personality._ Lilinette said and Starrk nodded. He knew that was true from a few things he'd overheard, but he'd never felt anything like it himself. Perhaps that should have been a hint. _They would split when they come over and probably wouldn't be recognizable or even spiritually powerful. You can claim you were a really powerful plus soul before you went hollow. That must happen sometimes too._

"I suppose… I should take a new name then?" Starrk mused, then laughed softly. "My real name would be Sosuke Starrk." That actually sounded rather good. Lilinette groaned.

_Don't you dare use that!_ She said threateningly and he laughed. _Idiot. No seriously, call yourself… Lupe. That means wolf._ She suggested and Starrk nodded. That sound good enough to him. _The only thing you have to worry about is getting promoted to fukutaichou. They take tissue samples then, put them on file. I don't think they usually run a comparison to existing samples, though, so even then you might be safe. It's better not to take the chance though._ She cautioned and he nodded.

"Don't make past seated officer. Got it." That wasn't going to be a problem for a while anyway. He would be going in as a cadet. "Well, I suppose I should find some food and some more clothes." He couldn't go apply in this. And he should probably wait until his chest was healed to go to the academy. Lilinette made an affirmative sound.

_Manifest me and I'll help you out._ She said and Starrk frowned, fumbling a moment before he found the mental gear. It turned easily and Lilinette was standing in front of him. He looked her over, fascinated. As he'd seen in his sword, she was a normal little girl. She was wearing a ragged outfit of leather and wolf pelts, and a necklace of wolf's teeth. Along with her eyepatch she looked completely feral.

"I'll go steal some food for you. Just rest." She said and Starrk nodded before stretching himself out on the steps and trying to get comfortable. He would look like a homeless person but he didn't care. This part of the Rukongai seemed to be abandoned, for now anyway.

He would take advantage of the peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Starrk was working hard, practicing his kido. Narrowing his eyes he licked his lips before firing off a deliberately low powered Red Flame Cannon. It obliterated the target and he cursed mildly to himself. He had a power control problem. All of his kido were massively destructive. Glancing around he sighed to himself. All around him, young shinigami cadets were conversing, helping each other, laughing softly at jokes. Some were working on their swordsmanship.

In this crowd, he was alone. Starrk was aware that it was largely his own fault. He'd made some critical errors when he'd first joined the Academy. It had all been cultural… even if he was shinigami, Starrk had been immersed in hollow culture. Lilinette was exactly the same. Her appearance as a feral child reflected his soul, his lack of any true mother and father. Starrk had been raised by wolves, and they had been called Espada.

So when he'd felt the need for physical intimacy, he'd done what was expected… found a likely young man and asked if he was interested. Starrk liked both men and women but in general, he preferred the male gender. He'd been expecting either quick acceptance or equally quick refusal. No one ever got upset about that sort of inquiry. Why would they? So the last thing he'd been expecting was a violent refusal followed by a fistfight.

That had been exactly what he'd gotten. And when the dust had settled, filthy rumors began spreading. Most of them were simply that he was a pervert. Apparently, enjoying your own gender was considered perverted here. Starrk thought that was setting the bar extremely low. He was experienced in things these children likely couldn't even name. Some of the rumors, though, were more elaborate and less truthful. Starrk preferred not to know the content of them. Some things were better left unsaid.

So he practiced alone, except when the instructors paired him against another student. And that brought him to the other reason for his isolation. New though he might be to his shinigami powers, Starrk was still an Espada. He had the full measure of skill that Aizen and his cronies had pounded into him. He could easily form those raw reiatsu blasts that mimicked cero and his 'sonido' had actually been shunpo. He pretended to be worse than he was, but his swordsmanship and speed were still excellent and kido came readily to his hand. The only thing he had trouble with was the healing arts. His overwhelming reiatsu was too rough for most people, although there were exceptions. A taichou could likely take healing from him but until he learned to gentle his power, no one else could.

All of that helped serve to isolate him. Starrk was aware of the envy and disgust the other students felt for him. Twice now, groups of them had tried to corner him and beat him into a bloody mess. He'd beaten them instead, but that only further isolated him. Starrk tried to maintain his indifference but he could honestly say he did not have a single friend.

Finally practice was finished and they went to lunch. Starrk sat by himself, at the end of one of the tables. No one, male or female, sat anywhere near him. He slowly, methodically ate his lunch, his mind very close yet very far as he spoke to his other half.

_You know, this is really sad. You had more friends in Los Noches._ Lilinette observed and Starrk nodded before taking a long drink of his water to wash the food down. It was a bento box of rice and chicken with a flavorful sauce and pickled vegetables.

"It is ironic." He agreed. Aizen had created an identity for him as the Espada of loneliness. His aspect of Death had been solitude. Now, despite being surrounded by life, he was more alone than he ever had been. "Perhaps matters will improve when I graduate." He said in a low tone. Surely not all shinigami were as close minded as these. There was a soft sigh from his zanpakuto.

_If it doesn't, what will you do?_ She asked and Starrk considered it. Then he spoke in a low tone.

"Go back home." Hueco Mundo was, in so many ways, his home. Sometimes his spirit longed for the cold sands, the interactions that were so simple and direct. Certainly, there had been plotters among the Espada – Barragan came to mind – but most hollows were very straightforward. Starrk understood them, understood the play of dominance and submission, eat and be eaten. "Although I do like this place. I just wish I liked the people." Soul Society did have some huge positives. As a cadet Starrk was given food, shelter and a small allowance. So far he'd used that money to experience some real culture. He didn't understand everything in the play he'd seen, but he had enjoyed it.

Finishing the last of his meal, Starrk rejoined his fellow cadets. The lessons that followed were the ones he had to struggle with… book learning. This was, without a doubt, his great weakness. He'd been taught to read and write but nothing more. Math had been a closed book to him but now he was expected to master it. And while he was trying, Starrk knew his efforts would never get a passing grade. Although…

_Let me do it for you Starrk._ Lilinette whispered and he hesitated. He knew it was wrong, relying on his zanpakuto that way. They were not supposed to be a crutch. _Oi, it's math Starrk. You're never gonna need to know this urgently. And I'm in your head, I can see how your mind works. You're never going to get this._

"…" Starrk looked over his sheet hopelessly. He knew it would come back to him covered in red. Every single answer would be wrong. The instructor had been making sounds about finding him a tutor but that was the last thing he wanted. It would be one of the other cadets and awkward at best. "Please, if you could." He said, surrendering to the inevitable. Deliberately switching gears, Starrk let himself take the backseat in his body. Soon his hands were working busily as Lilinette completed the pop quiz. Unlike himself, she had a knack for numbers.

_There, done! You'll get a good mark for a change._ She said cheerfully and Starrk tried to smile, although it bothered him. Why couldn't he understand this? Why did the numbers seem to flow together in his mind? _Oi, don't worry about it. You can't be good at everything._

"I suppose not." She did have a point. The next class was devoted to the history and legal system of Soul Society. Starrk gave it his full attention. He enjoyed it and thought it might be useful, to help him avoid any gaffes in the future. Although it was largely too late. Starrk was reasonably sure his reputation would haunt him forever.

Later, after supper, most of the cadets went to bathe in the communal pools. Starrk deliberately waited until the others were largely done before going for his own dip. He was agile enough to avoid shoves and other physical expressions of distaste, but the glares and the whispers did become wearisome. When he arrived in the pool, there were only three other cadets remaining. They ignored him and he returned the courtesy, sliding into the hot water with a sigh. For a time he just enjoyed it, feeling the tensions of the day melting away.

_You know, Starrk, I've been thinking. Sosuke was Aizen's first name. We forgot the naming convention thingy._ Starrk grimaced slightly. He'd forgotten that several times in the beginning. Fortunately it was a fairly common mistake. _So that would make you Aizen Starrk._

"…" They both considered that for a moment as the steam rose up around them. "That's… bad. Really bad."

_I know. That's like, bad-bad. Bad on toast. I wonder why he named you Starrk? I guess he never planned to give you his last name. And Coyote reflects me._ She said and Starrk nodded. Aizen had named him with his zanpakuto in mind. _If you used your momma's name you'd be Hinamori Starrk._

"That's not bad." Odd, but not bad. Then Starrk looked up as he felt someone looking at him. One of the other cadets was about to exit the pool and was looking at him with a frown.

"Who are you talking to?" He asked, an unspoken _freak_ implied by the tone. Starrk rolled his shoulders before giving the young man a level look.

"My zanpakuto." He replied. The cadet looked at him in complete disbelief.

"You can talk to your zanpakuto?" The tone of the question clearly implied that he was a liar. Starrk paused before smiling gently at the young man. He couldn't know, but in that moment he looked very much like his father.

"Can't everyone?" He asked sweetly and chuckled to himself as he saw the cadet flush. Snorting at him, he left the pool and Starrk turned his attention back to the warm water. He didn't care what they thought of him.

And if he told himself that long enough, perhaps he would come to believe it.

* * *

_You really are good at this, Lupe._ Lilinette said approvingly and Starrk chuckled.

"Thank you." He was standing on the bank of a river in the Rukongai. It was night, but the full moon and the stars provided plenty of illumination. He was trying to capture the beauty of this spot on canvass. And as he worked, Lilinette watched his back. It was handy, having such a deep bond to his zanpakuto. It left him less vulnerable to ambush. Starrk wished he thought that was an idle concern, but he knew it wasn't. He was coming to hate his situation here. Did the positives really make it worth it? Perhaps he should think hard about that…

Then someone stumbled out of the bushes just as Lilinette hissed a warning. Starrk dropped his paintbrush and drew his sword, stepping back from the easel to give himself room to meet the coming attack. But it didn't come. His eyes widened as he realized the person in front of him wasn't a cadet, he was a full fledged shinigami. The insignia he was wearing indicated he was a member of the Eighth Division.

"P-Please! My taichou… an arrancar… please help him…" The man stumbled towards him and Starrk lowered his sword, bewildered and faintly relieved. At least this wasn't another attempted ambush. Then he dropped his sword and caught the man as he wobbled on his feet.

"I'm just a cadet. How could I help a taichou?" He said soothingly. "I'll get you to – oh." Starrk had just caught a glimpse of the man's back. The blood there… easing him to the ground Starrk began to check the injury and swallowed. How had the man even been walking? He was no medic but he thought the shinigami was dying rapidly. Reaching out, he attempted healing but had to stop as the man jerked in agony. His reiatsu was simply too much. "Your taichou, where is he?" It seemed he was the only one available. The man pointed with what strength he had left.

"The way I came… please…" Starrk nodded before picking up his sword. He left the easel and painting without a thought, following the shinigami's backtrail. It was easy for him. He'd played a game with Grimmjow, once, stalking the cat and being stalked in turn. It had been a fun way to pass the time and infinitely more challenging than the simple trail this shinigami had left behind.

When he reached the end of the trail, Starrk's lips tightened in dismay. A white haired taichou was fighting a rather powerful arrancar. It was no one Starrk recognized and from the reiatsu levels, he was on the cusp of Espada strength. Had he managed to evolve after the war? It was possible, they weren't sure how much arrancar could evolve after their masks were broken. Still, the taichou should have been destroying him. Starrk recognized the man as the one who'd played with Lilinette. He was no pushover… but there was blood on his face and his uniform. Had he already been wounded somehow?

Then the taichou went down and there was no more time to think about it. Starrk intercepted the blow that would have killed the man, taking it on his sword and grunting with the strain. The arrancar was already in full release and he wasn't even using his shikai. Green eyes locked with steel grey and the arrancar leapt back, shocked.

"Coyote Starrk?" He queried and Starrk nodded, looking him over. He was a tall male, long and lean and deadly looking in his armor of bone. The wings on his back and the mask on his face made him think of a mosquito. A long, golden braid of thick hair flowed down his back.

"In a manner of speaking." He answered, raising his sword. "Scatter, Lilinette!" He commanded and she giggled before answering his words. The original command he'd used had been another manipulation, designed to make him seem like an arrancar. This was the true command of his shikai. There was no great explosion of power, but a moment later he was holding his guns. His clothing changed but only slightly, giving him a wolf pelt around his shoulders. And then the battle was on.

It didn't entirely go his way. Starrk yelped as the arrancar surprised him, managing to catch his left arm in a powerful grip and snap it with a single twist. Painfully aware that it was entirely his own fault for underestimating his opponent, Starrk's eyes narrowed as he got serious. Abandoning his efforts to use unfamiliar kido, he shaped is power like a cero and unleashed it. The arrancar dodged, but barely. And then he used another power of his shikai.

"Wildfire." He commanded, using the gun he had remaining. Once, that had been cero metralleta. But this was the true command and that did matter. The buckshot of power was gold instead of blue and the power and speed were both increased. The arrancar managed to dodge some of it but then abruptly was hit by almost a dozen blasts. He was falling from the sky when Starrk finished him off with a single shot.

Starrk landed beside the body, making sure he was dead before hissing. As the adrenaline wore off the pain hit and he glanced down at his arm, grimacing. He was still managing to hold onto his other weapon, somehow, but the damage was bad. It wasn't really a clean break. Dismissing his shikai he managed to put his weapon in his belt before going to the fallen taichou. He was unconscious and not looking very good. The blood wasn't from a wound that he could see, which was puzzling. Starrk tried to give him healing but found nothing he could touch.

"…" Puzzled, Starrk looked around and considered what to do. "This would be an excellent time for a helpful member of the Fourth to appear." He said out loud. Unfortunately, the universe was not listening. "…Hm." Taking a deep breath, he began the incredibly painful process of getting the shinigami onto his uninjured shoulder. He had to manifest Lilinette to help him.

"I could carry him for you." She volunteered and he shook his head.

"No. Can't risk it. Besides, you're too short." He said and she made a face at him. It was the truth though. As strong as Lilinette was, the shinigami was much too large for her. "I don't want anyone to know I can manifest my zanpakuto." It was bad enough that they knew he could speak to it. He didn't want to betray anymore of his strength. There was a great value in being underestimated and besides, he was enough of a freak already. Lilinette made a face and nodded.

"Okay, but be careful. I sense little hollows everywhere!" She warned before vanishing and Starrk blinked before he began to walk, hissing with every step. Little hollows? What did that mean?

He would probably find out.


	3. Chapter 3

Juushiro honestly wasn't expecting to ever wake up.

That was what made his current situation so surprising. He was vaguely aware of warm blankets, the familiar scents of the Fourth Division. Prying his eyes open he looked around curiously. Definitely the Fourth. He wouldn't have thought being reborn in the Living world would be so familiar…

Then it occurred to him that being reborn would involve babyhood and he was most definitely not a baby. Blinking, it occurred to him that he was most likely alive. How had that happened…?

"Ah, you're awake!" There was a soft sound of footsteps and Juushiro smiled as a very familiar face looked down at him. His greatest regret when he'd thought he was going to die was that he would never see that face again. "How are you feeling?"

"Not terribly." Weak, sore and sick, which generally described him whenever he'd suffered an attack. But suffering a major attack when a very powerful arrancar was trying to kill him, well… he should have been feeling much, much worse. Rather, he should have been in pieces scattered across the ground. "How am I alive?" He asked and blinked as Shunsui grinned.

"I thought you'd never ask!" His best friend and lover took a seat beside him, still grinning as Juushiro looked at him curiously. Why was he so cheerful? "It's an amazing story! Why, it's the talk of the whole Seireitei! Let me tell you…"

* * *

_We all know about that arrancar and his hollow minions. But where the story gets interesting is with a young cadet named Lupe._

_Now, this poor young cadet was just painting a picture down by a river in the Rukongai. By some odd coincidence, it was quite close to where you were facing off against that arrancar. And when your third seat happened to find him, the poor man begged the cadet to help you. Ridiculous, of course! How could a cadet help a taichou? Well, except with – ahem. Sorry. You know how my mind is._

_Anyway. This brilliant young cadet decided that he was going to do something, damn it! So he left your officer – I'm afraid he died – and went to help you. And he did! Remarkably, this lad has a shikai. And so young! He defeated your opponent but broke his left arm in the process. A very nasty break, too._

_Showing extreme fortitude, our intrepid young cadet managed to put you over his unhurt shoulder and began to carry you out. Were you aware that whole area is swampy and rather treacherous? He tried to use shunpo and slipped and fell. Yes, with a broken arm. And he landed in a very deep mud hole. Excellent times were had by all! …I know, I'm cruel. Have some sake? No. Right, the story…_

_Now our brave young cadet kept going and eventually reached the main road. Then he encountered those terrible little mosquito hollows that wretched arrancar had made. Now, young Lupe could hardly fight, having you on his back and a broken arm on the other side. So he panicked! And reacted in exactly the opposite way that someone trained would. You know how our first instinct was to hold in all our reiatsu when one of them tried to suck on us? Well, he did quite the opposite. He fed them a massive burst of his reiatsu and made a remarkable discovery! They have a limited capacity!_

_Yes, isn't it amazing? Mayuri says they're like leeches. They can only hold so much reiatsu and if they're hit with too much they explode! It takes an advanced class taichou to do it, however. Hitsugaya actually can't, to put it into perspective. We have a young prodigy on our hands! And it gets better. This young cadet didn't just kill the hollows molesting him. He cleaned out entire blocks around him! The shinigami from your Division all report seeing bugs going up like fireworks! Amazing!_

_Now, back to our cadet. Young Lupe was now tired, cold and his reiatsu was exhausted. Oh, and he was bleeding from about a dozen hollow bites, did I mention that? So he kept travelling onwards, leaving quite a blood trail behind him. I'm told it was possible to follow it for blocks. Fortunately, the bleeding had mostly stopped by the time he reached the blockade your men had set up. Unfortunately, he'd fallen into a mud pit and they mistook him for some kind of swamp hollow. I'm told no less than three kido hit him simultaneously! The poor man tried to protect you and in the process, broke his other arm._

_No, I'm not joking. Yes, that really happened. So you were both lying on the ground and when your shinigami realized what they'd done, they were all very sorry. They gave the poor cadet some sake and he babbled out a slightly hysterical version of events before passing out. And that is the end of the epic saga of Lupe…_

* * *

"… Although I am seriously thinking of writing an account for the Seireitei communications." Shunsui concluded as Juushiro stared at him in disbelief. "The only question is, what to call it? A Cadet's Extremely Bad Day? Saving Ukitake Taichou? Decisions, decisions…"

"Shunsui!" Juushiro couldn't help but laugh. "You are insane." He told his lover severely as Shunsui just smiled. "I thought I was dead." He said softly and the smile disappeared as Shunsui gently set a hand over his.

"If it hadn't been for that cadet, you would be." He said softly and Juushiro nodded, feeling a lump in his throat. He'd come so close, all because of his disease. "We need to thank him. I haven't met him yet. He has his own bed, though. Perhaps I should pay a visit." Shunsui mused and Juushiro shook his head.

"I would like to be there." He wasn't sure he would be out of bed before the young man, though. Two broken arms wasn't good but with kido, he would likely recover in a week. Less, possibly. High reiatsu levels speeded recovery and it sounded like his reiryoku was massive. His own attack had been very bad and Juushiro wasn't sure how quickly he could recover from it.

"We can go thank him together when you're feeling better." Shunsui said before gently resting a kiss on his forehead. Juushiro closed his eyes, just feeling the warm lips, the rough touch of beard. They had to be careful about these kinds of gestures but the Fourth was as safe as anywhere. "I'm afraid I can't stay too long. Now that we have such an easy way to destroy the hollows, everyone who can do it, is. That's myself, Kenpachi Zaraki and Yama-jii." Juushiro's breath caught as he met Shunsui's eyes. That meant the cadet… "Yes, impressive isn't it? Such raw power! And he can actually do kido. I anticipate the Divisions will be fighting over him." Shunsui said lightly and Juushiro smiled slowly.

"I'm getting him first." He wanted this young man in his Division.

He sounded absolutely remarkable.

* * *

"Ow." Lupe muttered as he tried to do up his pants with one hand and his teeth. "Mudderpockers fwuck gwarf argh!" Finally deciding he had the knot as good as it was going to get, he winced and let go. Hopefully the pants would stay up this time. To his relief, they did.

_You should have just manifested me to do that – what?_ Starrk did just that and Lilinette gave him a tremendously puzzled look as she stood in front of him. "What's up with you?"

"You're not doing up my pants. You are, however, putting my shoes on." He said firmly and she blinked before laughing. "I have some pride." He added as she bent down to slip on his socks, then his shinigami sandals. The sandals actually weren't that difficult but the socks were nigh impossible.

"Yeah, and your pride is why you're not calling the nurses. Honestly Starrk, you should enjoy this. It's not like anyone's gonna treat you this nice when you get out of here." She said and he sighed softly. He was getting very good treatment in the Fourth. Ukitake taichou was extremely popular and as a consequence, so was he. Starrk didn't think it would last very long but it was enjoyable while it did.

"Lupe, Lilinette. I'm Lupe." He corrected her and she looked a bit guilty at the slip as she stood back up. "I wish I could keep you manifested but…" It made him feel guilty, sometimes, keeping her trapped away in his inner world so much. She just shrugged.

"I'm a zanpakuto. Didja know it's actually kinda taboo, manifesting your zanpakuto in front of people?" She said and Starrk blinked. "That actually made Aizen kinda uncomfortable. But you did it yourself and normal arrancar don't have zanpakuto that talk, so he decided to make the best of it."

"Hmm. I had no idea." Another little cultural tidbit that no one had informed him of. Starrk sighed to himself. It felt like life as a shinigami was full of booby traps. He looked into Lilinette's face and saw sympathy there. Of course she understood how he felt, she was half of his soul. That was as true now as it had ever been. "I should go." He needed to see the taichou he had rescued. Then he would be back to the academy. He couldn't fight or practice kido much like this, but one arm did work. He could at least keep up with his academic classes.

His arms didn't actually hurt much at this point, although his left one was fully immobilized in a kido cast and the right was in a sling. So squaring his shoulders, Starrk returned Lilinette to his inner world and walked off. He wasn't really eager to do this. There was a very definite chance that Ukitake taichou would recognize him. But it had to be done so he might as well get it over with.

When he arrived, the white haired taichou was reading a book. He knocked carefully on the half-open door before pushing it fully open. The man on the bed looked up in surprise, his gaze dropping to the kido cast and the sling. Sympathy warmed those brown eyes and he smiled. Starrk blinked, feeling as though his breath was suddenly stolen away. That was the sweetest smile he'd ever been graced with.

"You must be Lupe Ruiz y Mendoza. I've heard so much about you." Ukitake said and Starrk nodded, managing a small, very abridged bow. He couldn't do more, it hurt too much.

"Hai, Ukitake taichou." He said, using proper shinigami courtesy. The man's smile warmed, the skin around his eyes wrinkling ever so slightly in amusement.

"Please, call me Juushiro. I shouldn't stand on rank with the man who saved my life. Would you please take a seat?" He said and Starrk couldn't help but smile as he took a seat near the bed. It looked like Juushiro didn't recognize him. That was a comfort.

_I still don't like him. Manifest me so I can kick his ass!_ Lilinette commanded but Starrk ignored her. It would hardly be fair anyway, with Ukitake this sick.

The next half-hour was spent very pleasantly, conversing about a wide variety of topics. Starrk noticed he surprised the shinigami several times with his response, particularly when they delved into philosophy. But then, he still had a very hollow take on the subject.

"Hollows don't care about us at all, you know." He suddenly said as his mind went in an odd direction. Lilinette made a soft warning sound but he ignored her. This was a thought he'd been idly chasing for some time. "Not the advanced ones. In fact, to them we seem like hollows ourselves." It was a strange thought but he knew it was true. He'd been there. Ukitake looked a bit taken aback by the odd statements.

"What do you mean?" He asked and Starrk smiled before continuing.

"To powerful hollows, the world is all about eating and being eaten." He said, remembering that mindset. Aizen's shikai had given him the proper hollow mental equipment and with Szayel's help, it had been flawless. "To a powerful hollow, a shinigami is just something to be eaten… or that can eat us… them. Not literally, of course." Starrk hurried on, hoping that small lapse would be unnoticed. "But to those hollows, purification just seems like another form of devouring. Nothing to fear, just something that happens. And shinigami are just something that happen, like other hollows happen…" Starrk knew some hollows had hard feelings about shinigami but most didn't. To them, shinigami were part of the spiritual landscape, probably dangerous but potentially useful.

"So you don't think hollows would hesitate to follow a shinigami?" Juushiro asked and Starrk shook his head.

"They wouldn't hesitate for a moment, if the shinigami had the strength to hold the pack. That's all that matters." That was a truth any hollow would know in their bones. Juushiro smiled weakly.

"I suppose that does explain why the Espada followed Aizen so readily. But how do you know so much about how hollows think, Lupe?" Ukitake asked and Starrk hesitated. That was a sticky question. Shrugging, he just gave the pale shinigami a half-smile.

"I don't know." He said simply and Juushiro blinked before laughing. "Perhaps I was one. Who knows?" It was going to be found out anyway and probably sooner than later. This man did hang around with the other one, the one who wore a kimono over his shoulder. Starrk was absolutely certain that man would remember him. "But I should probably be going." It was getting time for him to go back to the academy. Ukitake nodded his acceptance and Starrk stood, going to the door –

And happened to open it just as someone else was intending to walk in. Their eyes met and Starrk felt a moment of shock followed by horror as he easily recognized the man. From the expression of shock on his face, the recognition was mutual. Starrk had a slight advantage, though. He'd been expecting this encounter and recovered from his surprise more quickly.

"Pardon me Kyoraku taichou." He murmured as if this was completely normal and ducked past the stunned shinigami. He hurried away, not quite running but moving swiftly. He was vaguely aware of eyes on his back before he managed to turn a corner. He knew it was false comfort, but that made him feel better.

He didn't want a confrontation with Kyoraku Shunsui when he had two broken arms.

* * *

"Shunsui? Is something wrong?" Juushiro asked as his lover stared after the departed cadet. "You look like you've seen a ghost." He meant it as a joke but the wondering look Shunsui turned on him made him blink.

"I just did." He said and Juushiro looked at him blankly, not understanding. "You don't recognize him?"

"Um… no. Although he does seem vaguely familiar." Juushiro said hesitantly. "But I'm sure I've never met him before." That familiarity though… it did give him the oddest feeling. "He's the cadet who rescued me. Lupe Ruiz y Mendoza." A very Spanish name. Kyoraku's expression segued from shock into disbelief.

"He rescued you?" He said and Juushiro nodded before his lover suddenly laughed. "Ah, amazing! Remarkable! After he tried so very hard to kill you, he saves you from certain death!"

"What? Shunsui, what are you babbling about? Who is he?" This was starting to annoy him. Why couldn't Shunsui just speak plainly? His fellow taichou lost his smile, suddenly sounding extremely serious.

"He's the Primera Espada, Coyote Starrk." He said and Juushiro's breath caught in his throat as his mind flashed back to the quiet, thoughtful young man sitting by his side. Those grey eyes had seemed so sensitive, calm yet oddly secretive. That face… how had he not seen it? But there were no mask fragments, no hollow hole.

"You purified his soul." Juushiro realized. Shunsui nodded, very serious. "Has this ever happened before?" A former hollow coming to Soul Society in a recognizable form… he'd never heard of that before. Shunsui shook his head.

"No, but most hollows are not humanoid. And arrancar are new." Shunsui reached under his straw hat to scratch his hair for a moment, thinking. "We probably shouldn't mention this. It's not his fault but…" He let the thought trail off and Juushiro could easily fill in the blanks. It wasn't the young man's fault that he was a purified hollow, but the war with Aizen had been bitter. There might be some serious questions about his loyalty if this came to light. "He must have been a remarkably powerful plus soul. Or perhaps all purified arrancar will maintain their spiritual pressure? If so we might have some interesting recruits in the future!" Shunsui mused and Juushiro managed a wan smile.

"As long as they don't remember." Although that reminded him of what Lupe had said about hollows. "I wonder how much he does remember?" He definitely remembered something. Not much, perhaps, but something. Shunsui frowned.

"I'll have to call him to my office sometime for a chat." He mused and Juushiro nodded. "Well, that's all very interesting but how are you feeling? About ready to go home?" He asked and Juushiro nodded with a smile.

"I would love to." He and Kyoraku shared a small bungalow in the better part of town. Shunsui didn't get along very well with his family and Juushiro wanted some privacy, so no one had ever questioned it. No one was aware of the fact that they'd been lovers literally for centuries, enjoying each other in their private little nest. Juushiro honestly couldn't wait to get back to it. Shunsui glanced at the door and Juushiro felt his reiatsu, quickly checking for any eavesdroppers. Finding nothing, his lover bent over and kissed him thoroughly. Juushiro sighed, melting into that feeling.

He loved Shunsui very much.

* * *

Starrk frowned to himself as he bent over his work.

He'd given up on math and was leaving it to Lilinette. But that left him with plenty to do. Right now he was studying the history of Soul Society. The events and the things behind them were difficult for a former hollow to understand. A few things were already becoming clear to him. Nobles had great power and it was wise to stay out of their way. Shinigami could challenge each other to duels and they were usually fatal, with no penalties for the winner. Starrk wondered if he would ever have to face such a challenge. Cadets were not allowed to issue or accept such things, but he wouldn't be a cadet much longer.

He was being put into the advanced program after the incident in the Rukongai. That meant he was getting tutoring on several of his subjects but fortunately, the tutors were female and from higher classes. Most of the girls in his own classes avoided him like he had leprosy, but his tutors were at least willing to treat him like a human being while they taught him. Starrk considered it a slight improvement.

"I'm starting to become sexually frustrated." He muttered as he continued to read. Lilinette giggled in his mind, amused by the thought. It was nothing but the truth though. His hand just wasn't enough. "…I wish I could convince one of the women to have sex with me." Unfortunately, his skills at seduction were rather poor. The only time he'd slept with women had been Halibel and her fraccion. Absolutely no effort on his part had been required. Quite the opposite… the fraccion had cornered him and informed him he would be pleasing them that night or would live to regret refusing them.

_I wonder what these twits would think if they knew you've had a foursome with three beautiful women?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk smiled, shaking his head. No one would ever believe it. _Not to mention what happened when Halibel caught you all. That'd make their hair turn white._

"It was… interesting." Halibel had a taste for bondage and he'd been pretty much helpless at that point. She'd given him a very interesting demonstration of her talents. "I miss that about Los Noches, I really do." It wasn't that he'd had sex frequently, but it had always been available when he wanted it. There was always someone willing to accommodate the Primera Espada.

_You know what was funny? Aizen's reaction when I told him you'd lost your virginity to Barragan._ Lilinette said cheerfully and Starrk flushed at the reminder. _He really taught you something that day, didn't he?_

"Oh yes, that is certainly true." That was how Barragan had sold it, in fact. And he hadn't been lying. Starrk wasn't sure he'd ever want that particular experience again, but it had definitely been interesting. "These children really have no idea what perversion is… mmm?" Starrk looked up in surprise as someone knocked on his door. Carefully sensing the reiatsu behind it he frowned and slipped off his bed. That felt like a full fledged shinigami, if he was any judge. He carefully donned his sword, keeping his hand near the hilt and his power ready before he opened the door.

"Lupe-san?" The woman in front of him was completely unfamiliar to him. She was wearing glasses and her hair was caught in a very neat hairstyle. The band on her arm indicated she was a fukutaichou, which surprised him. "I am Isle Nanao, fukutaichou to Kyoraku taichou." She seemed like a very serious young woman. Starrk nodded, wishing she wasn't here. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like this. "He would like to invite you to speak with him at your earliest convenience."

"…" Starrk knew instantly that this was not an invitation that he could refuse. No cadet refused a taichou and even if he did, it would only make the man more suspicious than he probably was. "I can come with you now, if that is convenient, Nanao-san." He said politely and she smiled slightly, adjusting her glasses.

"Thank you Lupe-san, that would be ideal." She led him out of the dormitory and Lupe caught a few surprised and envious looks from the few cadets who were out and about. "I'm told you have advanced shunpo?"

"Yes ma'am." He replied and she nodded before launching into shunpo. He followed close behind, keeping up with her easily. He could have easily outdistanced her, in fact. The skills of the Primera Espada were far beyond what any fukutaichou could muster.

They reached the office in question and Nanao rapped sharply at the door before sliding it open. Starrk blinked as he beheld the taichou he'd been brought to see. He was drinking some sake and neglecting his paperwork badly, from the condition of his desk. Nanao ushered him in and closed the door firmly behind him. Starrk had a feeling she didn't want to see her taichou not working any more than she had to.

"Ah, Lupe! Please forgive me for not rising. I've been indulging a bit today." Kyoraku said with a cheerful smile and Starrk was absolutely certain he was a liar. Not that he hadn't been drinking, but that he was at all unsteady. No, he was willing to bet the taichou could have a sword at his throat in an eyeblink. Starrk bowed, trying to keep his expression perfectly calm as he took a seat. "I want to personally thank you. Juushiro means a great deal to me. Were you aware that you might be receiving a special award soon for your valor?"

"I, what?" Starrk was taken aback by that and flushed as he made a quick gesture of negation. "That is hardly necessary, taichou. I was only doing what I could to help." That was true. Although… Kyoraku laughed and put it into words.

"But how many other cadets could help so effectively? By any logic we should have lost you both! Although you came rather close, eh? Two broken arms. How are they doing by the way?" Kyoraku dropped his gaze to his arms and Lupe stretched out his right, fisting his hand. His left was in a sling now.

"My right arm is fully healed although I'm not to overstress it. Kido practice but no sword work." He answered honestly and Kyoraku nodded. "My left is still healing. The break there was worse." Fortunately he was right handed. Although he did have a very good aim with his left. His shikai required it.

"Hmm. Tell me, Lupe. Do you remember anything of your past?" Shunsui asked and Lupe sighed to himself. The expected question. He managed to smile at the man, feeling tight with tension.

"Only my name." He lied easily. Kyoraku lifted his eyebrows, a small smile of disbelief crossing his face. Starrk could tell he didn't believe that at all.

"You seem to have an odd sympathy for hollows." He said casually and Starrk stiffened slightly. Then he controlled his reaction and smiled gently. Again, it was a very Aizen-like smile. Kyoraku actually lowered his sake, looking mildly taken aback.

"Do they not deserve our sympathy, Kyoraku taichou? They are souls just like us, that have gone mad from too much time without our touch. Any of us might become one, if we happen to fall in battle to one." Starrk said and Kyoraku frowned before nodding.

"Most shinigami consider that to be a reason to hate them, not sympathize with them. And what of the atrocities they commit?" He asked and Starrk shrugged.

"They don't know any better. To a hollow, right and wrong are meaningless concepts. All that matters is their needs, wants and desires." He said and hesitated as Kyoraku pushed across a small cup of sake. "…Thank you." He couldn't think of any way to graciously refuse, although he really wanted to keep his wits about himself. Starrk took a small drink of it, wincing as the alcohol burned on the way down.

For Starrk, the next half-hour was fraught with tension. Shunsui skillfully questioned him, obviously trying to determine how much he truly remembered. Starrk resisted well, betraying very little of his true awareness. It was exhausting though and Starrk couldn't imagine how Aizen had lived a part for so long.

"I believe I should go, Kyoraku taichou." Starrk murmured before pushing himself to his feet. "I do have a great deal of work…" He was just moving towards the door when a lightning flash move caught him by surprise. Starrk gasped softly as he was abruptly forced against the wall, Kyoraku's face much too close to his own.

"I don't think you're telling me the truth, Lupe." Kyoraku's voice was almost mesmerizing and Starrk stared at him wide eyed, his breath speeding up as a new tension suddenly sang in the air. It had been so long since he'd had sex with anyone and this man was desirable. Very desirable… and for hollows, sex was all about dominance and submission. "You've been tense the entire time we've been speaking. Why?" Starrk vaguely noted that he wasn't nearly as good a liar as his father. Aizen wouldn't have betrayed himself that way. "Perhaps – " What perhaps would be, would forever remain unspoken as Starrk impulsively surged forward and placed his lips firmly against Kyoraku's.

He felt his whole body trembling with need as he grasped the taichou's robes. Shunsui's lips parted in shock and Starrk used that, opening his mouth invitingly and teasing the taichou with a wet touch of his tongue. He was the lower ranked, the submissive here. Kyoraku suddenly seemed to grasp that and gripped the back of his head, taking the invitation and exploring his mouth, tangling their tongues together. Starrk groaned, deep in his throat. He felt like his body had suddenly caught fire…

"Oh." Kyoraku said as they parted. His grey eyes were wide in surprise as he stared at the trembling cadet. Starrk swallowed convulsively, suddenly afraid. Was he going to get challenged to his first duel? It was quite possible. "…I misread this completely, didn't I?" He said, then suddenly smiled. It was the most charming smile Starrk had ever seen. "All this time you were tense because… my, my." Shunsui caught his chin and Starrk's eyes went wide as he was pulled into another kiss. This one was slower, more leisurely and he could really taste the sake on the taichou's breath. "This isn't a good time or place. Come to my home tomorrow night, around seven." He whispered and Starrk swallowed before nodding convulsively. Even if he'd been given the option of refusal, he wouldn't have. This was far too intriguing. "I'll be expecting you, cadet."

"Yes, taichou." Starrk whispered, meeting those eyes again and feeling a tremor go down his spine. Kyoraku let go of him and stepped back, adjusting his straw hat with a smile. Starrk made his escape, keenly aware of those eyes on his back.

He wasn't entirely certain what would happen tomorrow but he was going to find out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I have decided! This is going to be a Shunsui/Starrk/Juushiro threesome. XD And there is going to be mpreg and it is going to MASSIVELY mess with Starrk. Also, this fic might not be as loving as some of the others because of the underlying problem at work… but don't judge Shunsui and Juushiro too harshly…

"You did what?" Juushiro looked at Shunsui in disbelief as he lowered his tea. His fellow taichou and lover just shrugged, smiling.

"I've always wondered what it would be like with a third. We discussed that." They had and they had concluded it would be worth doing, but too dangerous to risk approaching someone. "And I didn't have to approach him. He came to me! Really, there's no danger at all. Who would believe a rather odd recruit over two taichou?" Shunsui said with a smile but Juushiro was not the least bit mollified.

"That's not my point! You should have at least invited him over for supper! Seven o'clock is just rude." They typically ate at six. It never took them longer than an hour so Shunsui had deliberately asked Lupe to come over just after supper. His lover looked completely at a loss for a moment.

"…Oh. I, ah, didn't think of that. You want him to join us for supper? I can send him a hell butterfly." He offered. Now that he knew the cadet's unique reiatsu signature that would not be a problem. Juushiro sighed, shaking his head.

"Please do so." He said firmly and Shunsui grinned before calling up a butterfly, speaking a quick message and sending it off. It didn't take long for the acknowledgement to reach them, but that was no surprise. Lupe had to be keenly aware of the fact that he was only a cadet. His spectacular feat had brought him to notice but it would not be entirely comfortable for him. "This should be interesting." Juushiro thought back to Lupe, sitting beside his bed, and felt a small flutter. He was a very attractive young man with his thoughtful eyes and his air of hidden secrets.

"Yes indeed. Although he does have a rather alarming smile when he's angry. It almost reminds me of Unohana's although it's a bit more like that creepy smile Aizen had at the end." Shunsui commented and Juushiro winced. He remembered that all too clearly.

"If it's really like Unohana's smile, he'll be the stuff legends are made of." He joked before their discussion turned to other things. Soon they finished their breakfast before leaving for their Divisions. Juushiro was honestly looking forward to seeing Lupe again.

Creepy smile or not, he was handsome and very interesting.

* * *

"How do I look?" Starrk asked, looking at himself in the mirror. He'd come to the Academy with the clothing on his back, which had been quite disreputable. It took a while to save enough, but using his allowance he'd managed to get two sets of real clothing, as opposed to uniforms. What he was wearing right now was a rust colored yukata, decorated with dark brown patterns. The belt was bright yellow silk, providing a pretty contrast. It was second hand so he'd gotten it at quite a reasonable price.

_Yeah, yeah, you look fine. Get going or you'll be late._ Lilinette said, annoyed, and Starrk smiled as he scooped up his sword and shunpo'd out the door. She was right, he needed to get moving if he didn't want to launch into a flash step that would break the sound barrier.

It didn't take him long to reach the house. Fortunately he'd thought to ask Nanao for directions before he'd left the Eighth Division. The house in question was a pretty little bungalow in a quite expensive part of the Seireitei. Even if he made taichou it was unlikely Lupe would be able to afford to live here. It saddened him slightly because the neighborhood really was beautiful. There were mature trees and houses with real character…

Reaching his target, he knocked firmly on the door and waited. It didn't take long before the door opened and Starrk blinked as he saw Juushiro. Were he and Shunsui…? There were so many things he didn't know. But the white haired taichou smiled and Starrk relaxed a little. He couldn't help it, Juushiro was a very calming presence.

_You are too, you know. 'Course, so was Aizen, when people thought he was nice._ Lilinette commented and Starrk nodded slightly. He wasn't too surprised. Although that didn't seem to make him any more popular among the cadets. _Hey, it doesn't work miracles._

"Lupe! We've been expecting you. Please come in." He said warmly and Starrk nodded, stepping inside. "I apologize if this is a surprise. I'm sure Shunsui didn't mention that we live together."

"No, he did not. But it's a welcome surprise." He said easily and spotted the very faint blush on the taichou's cheeks. This was going to be interesting. He was no stranger to multiple partners. That had been part of his experience with Barragan, in fact. His fraccion had been very involved.

_Yeah, I didn't mention that to Aizen. Figured it might stop his heart._ Lilinette commented and Starrk couldn't help but smile. The cheerful expression set Juushiro at ease and the white haired taichou showed him to the dinner table. Shunsui was putting out the food, which made his mouth water. From the look of it, someone was an excellent cook. The food at the Academy wasn't bad, exactly, but it was far from inspired. And buying some hadn't made his list of priorities.

"This is wonderful." He said after a mouthful of soba noodles in a delicious, flavorful broth. It was full of carrots, mushrooms and water chestnuts. There was just a touch of spice, piquant on the tongue. Shunsui chuckled as Juushiro smiled.

"You can thank the Golden Lotus restaurant! We decided to get something special for this." He said and Starrk nodded. That made sense. "Do you cook, Lupe?"

"No, sadly." The thought of the Primera Espada visiting the kitchens of Los Noches was laughable. How had Aizen made sure he'd gotten the correct food? The arrancar ate very different rations than the shinigami. Resolving to ask Lilinette later, he smiled at the taichou. "Hopefully someday I'll be able to learn." That sounded like fun.

"It won't be for quite a while. Until you make seated officer, at least." Juushiro observed and Starrk nodded. Regular shinigami lived at the barracks in their Divisions and took all their meals at the mess hall. "Well, unless you find someone to share your life." Couples typically lived in subsidized housing near the barracks. Juushiro's smile was a bit melancholy and Starrk hesitated a moment before shrugging.

"That might happen. I am not exclusive in my attentions." He said quietly and thought he saw a bit of relief in them both. He didn't understand why, though. There were so many things he didn't understand about this place. "Although I will have to work on my courtship skills." He said wryly. Just issuing a proposition wouldn't cut it, clearly. Shunsui laughed, taking a drink of his sake.

"Perhaps I can help you with that." He said cheerfully and Starrk listened, fascinated, as he was given some information on how to approach a woman. He made mental note of some of the tactics… asking a woman if she wanted to go on a walk in a park would not have occurred to him. Such things were quite alien to his hollow upbringing. "But I doubt you came here for help wooing a woman." There was a hint of heat in his voice, a warmth in his eyes that made Starrk feel a great deal of anticipation. He glanced at Juushiro and saw a matching warmth in those brown eyes. "Tell me, Lupe. Are you a virgin?" The question pulled a surprised laugh from him. He quickly tried to control himself, but couldn't help but smile.

"Oh no, I'm not a virgin." Starrk assured him and Shunsui actually seemed a touch disappointed. "I am very… flexible." He murmured before smiling. It was a warm, lustful smile. "One of the few things I can remember clearly is my sexual experiences… I can suggest many things…" There were some odd things that he'd quite enjoyed. Although from the looks on their faces, he doubted they could handle the things he'd learned from Ulquiorra. It was probably better that way… in inexperienced hands, bloodletting and asphyxiation could be deadly.

"Hmm, that is intriguing. Would you object to being bound?" Shunsui asked casually as he ate an egg roll. Juushiro was blushing, Starrk noticed. It was really very cute.

"Not at all." He said easily before trying his own egg roll. It was excellent, full of shrimp and delicate herbs. "I trust the two of you. Bondage involves trust." If it was done voluntarily, at least. Halibel had caught him at a bad moment and hadn't given him a choice. Starrk shivered a little at that pleasant but painful memory before setting it aside.

"Shunsui, I don't think…?" Juushiro said questioningly and Shunsui glanced at him consideringly before shaking his head.

"Well, perhaps not. Besides, I don't have any ropes! A terrible oversight." Shunsui said cheerfully and Starrk laughed. He knew of plenty of other things that could be used, but perhaps now was not the time. And besides…

"I'll see about getting some toys for next time." He said before realizing he'd just assumed there would be a next time. Juushiro blushed as Shunsui regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. Starrk felt his own cheeks heat and directed his attention to his food. It was almost done, there was nothing left but the sweets, little confections of dough, dates and honey. He quickly ate one, trying to distract himself.

"Rather forward, aren't you? I think I like it." Shunsui said musingly before smiling, slowly. "Why don't we take this to the bedroom?" He suggested and Starrk was glad to comply, rising easily from his cushion.

"We've never…" Juushiro started as they reached that private place and Starrk felt a flicker of amusement as he saw Shunsui give his lover a quick, troubled look. He thought that Shunsui had never taken a third into his lovemaking either, despite his surface air of confidence.

"It's not hard." He assured the white haired man, although he knew it wasn't entirely true. If all three of them had been inexperienced this could have been extremely awkward. "Just start with each other, as you usually would. I'll join in." He knew how to do that. He'd done it before, with Nnoitra and Tesra. Juushiro looked relieved that he seemed to know what to do and Shunsui smiled before pulling his white haired lover into a deep kiss. Starrk disrobed as they worked on each other, removing their clothes. They quickly found their way to the bed and Starrk joined them. Although… "Is there anything in particular you don't like?" Thinking about Nnoitra had reminded him of that. Nnoitra couldn't stand to be penetrated, for reasons he refused to discuss. Shunsui had been kissing Juushiro on the throat but he paused, pulling back for a moment.

"Yes… I'm afraid I don't like being on the bottom." He admitted and Starrk nodded. Then Shunsui smiled charmingly. "I honestly thought you were a virgin and it wouldn't come up." He admitted, which made Starrk laugh.

"An innocent young cadet? I could play the role sometime." He said playfully and was pleased with the lustful expressions on both their faces. Then Shunsui went back to Juushiro's throat, making him gasp. Starrk took the time to just examine what they were doing. Theoretically, sex should be a universal constant but after his disastrous attempts to procure it, he wasn't going to assume that anymore.

He was right not to. Starrk was astonished to see that hollows and shinigami clearly made love differently. For hollows, teeth and claws always came into play. Starrk couldn't remember a single time he had come out of a sexual encounter without claw marks on his back and bite marks on his neck. Even Tesra, arguably the most submissive arrancar to exist, still left his marks on Nnoitra. It was how hollows mated.

It wasn't how shinigami mated. Shunsui was treating Juushiro so tenderly… it was honestly like nothing Starrk had ever seen. He wasn't sure he could behave that way but the former Espada was suddenly motivated to try.

Sliding himself into the sexual encounter came as easily as breathing. He was a good gauge of reactions and Shunsui made room for him, letting him explore them both. And the favor was returned, hesitantly at first but slowly growing bolder. Kisses and touches became firmer as they got their measure of each other and Starrk found he was deeply enjoying himself.

The one who was taken first, though, was Juushiro. Starrk gently kissed the white haired shinigami as Kyoraku prepared his lover, using some kind of special gel for lubrication. That was another thing that had been lacking in Los Noches, although several arrancar had eventually discovered a great fondness for it. As Shunsui slid home into his lover, Starrk moved back, sensing that the shinigami wanted to kiss Juushiro. He was right and he watched, fascinated, as they engaged in a loving and intimate kiss. There was no hint of fangs, no tongue war, just a beautiful and loving duet.

Still, Starrk was not going to be left out. Smiling, he moved to behind Kyoraku and ran a finger down his spine before licking him in the hollow of his back. The shinigami arched with a strangled sound and Starrk smiled at the reaction.

"Kami! What are you… doing back there…?" Shunsui sounded like he might be losing his mind and Juushiro was looking over his shoulder, wide eyed. Starrk laughed as he climbed up the other man and felt Shunsui stiffen slightly as his own erection rubbed against him.

"Don't worry. I respect your wishes." He assured the shinigami before kissing the back of his neck. For a moment he paused, just savoring the musk there and the feel of the warm body rutting beneath him. How he loved being part of this.

And despite not being the active participant, he was part of it. Starrk nibbled and licked until he found a spot on Kyoraku's neck that made the shinigami shiver and paused to suck. He was tempted to raise blood, leave his marks, but he held back. Juushiro and Shunsui were showing no signs of biting each other although the white haired man's fingers were digging into Shunsui's shoulders. Still, they were not at all close to drawing blood.

Starrk continued his explorations, pausing at times to watch what Shunsui was doing to Juushiro. The way the white haired taichou's head was flung back, the tiny beads of sweat on his face as he closed his eyes… he was beautiful in his passion. The heavy breathing and the speed of the mating gave Starrk an idea and he licked his lips, deciding that he would do it.

Starrk timed it well. Just as Shunsui and Juushiro reached their climax, he bit Kyoraku sharply on the shoulder. Forcing his reiatsu into the wound, he watched as Shunsui reacted instinctively by pouring more reiatsu into Juushiro, making up for the difference. Juushiro arched from the bed, his mouth opening in a soundless exclamation as the power rippled through him, intensifying his orgasm. Shunsui experienced the same thing, a moment of incredibly powerful pleasure. Starrk just savored the blood and the feel and scent of the two men beneath him, riding out their orgasms.

When the moment was finished, Starrk removed his teeth from the wound before looking at it. It wasn't too bad, just a small mark. Shunsui and Juushiro were both panting, struggling to regain their breath as they basked in the post coital high. Shunsui looked over his shoulder at him, his grey eyes a bit stunned.

"What did you do?" He asked and Starrk smiled at him, trying to ignore the ache between his thighs. After the show they had put on, he was almost painfully aroused.

"Just a little trick. I forced my reiatsu into you as you came." He said easily. Shunsui looked intrigued as Juushiro looked blissful. "I can't do it with everyone. The two of you are strong enough to handle my power. Someone of lesser power can do it to someone greater, but it lacks the 'oomph'." It was still a pleasant experience but not as mind numbing as having an equal or greater power do it. Grimmjow had shown him that trick. He paused to run his hands down Shunsui's sides, making the shinigami shiver. "Now, I hope the two of you aren't exhausted. I would be very disappointed." He said warmly before sliding away. Shunsui laughed, pulling away from Juushiro. He looked up at both of them with a smile before sitting up.

"Oh, we'll give you a good time." Shunsui said and Starrk smiled in pleasure as he suddenly became the focus of their attention. Shunsui kissed him and Starrk submitted instantly, letting the taichou dominate him. Although the kiss was still not as violent as another hollow would give. Even in a kiss, there was usually some blood…

"Shunsui, do you mind if I?" Juushiro asked and Starrk wondered what he was asking for as his mind fogged with lust. The shinigami kissing him pulled back for a moment to look down with a smile.

"I hoped you would." He sounded… wistful? "I regret that I can't." He said and Juushiro smiled at him affectionately.

"I love you just the way you are." He said before suddenly going down on Starrk's erection. The cadet gasped as wet heat enfolded his aching member, tempting him to thrust. He controlled the instinct ruthlessly. Choking his partner was not sexy. Shunsui went back to kissing him and Starrk gripped those broad shoulders as warm, well lubed fingers touched his opening. He spread his legs, mutely begging Juushiro to continue. He understood what was happening here. Juushiro would be the one to take him…

Starrk gasped as Shunsui explored his throat, finding his good spots. That one particular place… Starrk whined involuntarily as a warm tongue found it and Shunsui paused to suck, giving him a full dose of pleasure. The fingers inside him hooked and Starrk jerked as he saw stars. Juushiro had just solved his puzzle box. Along with the heat around his cock it felt delicious.

But it was too much. Too much stimulation and he'd already been aroused… Starrk panted out a warning and Juushiro pulled away, to his relief. Then the shinigami moved up his body as Shunsui moved back, mimicking what he'd done with them earlier. Their eyes met and Starrk saw concern in those warm brown eyes.

"Are you ready for this, Lupe?" Juushiro asked and he couldn't help but laugh. The concern was adorable but…

"I'm dying for it. Please, take me before I explode." He begged, lifting his hips in a wanton gesture. Juushiro blushed lightly before nodding and gripping his hips, sliding home inside him. The sudden intrusion burned but also felt amazingly good, deep and full and right. Starrk moaned as he was kissed, warm lips sealing over his. It was a warm, loving kiss, sweet and tender. He'd never imagined that gentleness could be such a sexual turn-on.

"Oh god." Starrk groaned as Juushiro began to move, taking him in a slow and careful rhythm. Too careful… Starrk opened his eyes, looking at the shinigami with a dazed and lustful gaze. "Harder. Take me… harder…" This was beautiful and arousing but he wanted more, needed more. Juushiro's breath caught and then he was doing what Starrk wanted, speeding his thrusts and taking him more firmly. Starrk cried out as his prostate was stimulated and then he blinked as warm lips caressed his temple. Looking up, he met Shunsui's eyes.

"Kami, you are so beautiful like this." The shinigami said and the lust in his voice made Starrk shiver. Then Juushiro wiped any thought of that away, as he gripped his cock and stroked the hard flesh in time with his thrusts. The sensation of being filled mixed with the feeling of being pumped and Starrk gasped as he was nuzzled, Juushiro whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Shunsui's laughter was sweet as well and Starrk gave himself over to the feelings, letting the two shinigami please him. For their first time with a third, they were good at this…

Tender touches and gentle kisses merged with the intense pleasure inside him, the hard jolts to his prostate. Starrk had to hold back his urge to bite and claw, substituting more gentle contacts. And he loved it. It was strange and new but he loved every moment, loved the strange fluttery feeling it gave him inside. He had never deluded himself into thinking any of the Espada cared about him, but here he almost felt… loved. It was strange, that in the hands of two men who had tried to kill him he would finally feel that way…

Starrk gasped as he felt the pleasure in his belly building, a tingling in his balls that demanded release. Looking at Juushiro he could see the intense pleasure in the shinigami's face and knew he was getting close, too. Wrapping his arms around those shoulders he buried his face in that white hair, mutely begging the shinigami for more. Juushiro seemed to sense the moment and went faster and harder –

Then Starrk felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and cried out as he felt Shunsui's reiatsu enter his body. His body spasmed, creamy cum splattering as the intense pleasure rolled over him. But he was the receiving partner, his power did not enter Juushiro automatically… to make up for that he bit the white haired taichou, forcing the extra power he'd been given into the wound. Juushiro's cry of pleasure, the way his body arched and his cock pulsed, were all wonderful to him. Starrk enjoyed the heat that bathed his core, entering him with quick spurts. That was delicious…

Coming down from his high, Starrk carefully removed his teeth from the bite and winced as he looked at it. He'd been a bit carried away at the end, it was not as delicate as the nip he'd given Shunsui. He licked it apologetically as Juushiro panted, his body trembling and covered in sweat. It took him several moments to collect himself and pull away. Starrk sighed, feeling limp and almost boneless. That had been so good.

"Wonderful. Tell me Lupe, do you want to stay overnight?" Shunsui asked, his voice warm. Starrk stirred, thinking. He was deeply tempted… he sensed there might be morning sex available. But…

"I shouldn't." He said sadly, sliding a hand through white strands. Juushiro looked at him with a warm smile. "Are the two of you hiding your relationship?" He had to ask. He was fairly certain but not entirely. Juushiro's smile turned to an expression of surprise.

"Well, of course." Shunsui sounded confused and also concerned. "Being open about such things is not…" He fumbled for words and Starrk sighed, pushing himself up on one elbow.

"Unfortunately, when I joined the Academy I was unaware of that." He said sadly and saw Shunsui swallow as Juushiro winced. "It would do you no good to be too closely associated with me. If we wish to continue meeting it should, perhaps, be more secretive." No one would think anything of them inviting him over for dinner after how he'd saved Juushiro's life. But if he started to come over regularly rumors might begin to fly.

"I am very sorry to hear that." Shunsui said softly and Starrk met his eyes, feeling an ache deep in his chest. Would this be the first and last time for their lovemaking? He would not blame them if it was. Then Shunsui smiled and gripped his chin, pulling him into a warm kiss. "We'll think of something, eh? I don't think we want this to be the end." He said as he pulled away and Starrk smiled, the pain dissolving into warmth.

"Thank you." He whispered, feeling touched. "But I really should be going." It was getting late and he needed to get back. There was a gentle hug and Starrk turned his head to see Juushiro. The white haired taichou smiled at him, but there was an odd pain in his face and eyes. Starrk smiled at him reassuringly before sitting up and pulling himself out of the bed. He dressed quickly and gathered his zanpakuto. He sensed Lilinette was sleeping and gently shoved her into wakefulness. He would need her, to help avoid any ambushes on his return. Quickly making his goodbye's, he left the house to return to his rooms. He kept his senses alert on the return leg but no one attempted to attack him. Settling into his bed, he immediately went to sleep.

It had been a long and exhausting day.

* * *

"…What should we do?" Juushiro said as he held a cup of tea. He was standing at the window, watching the path the cadet had taken back to the academy. His demeanor made him want to cry. Now that he was looking, he saw that Lupe moved like a warrior in enemy territory, constantly scanning and searching for threats. That would let him survive longer than most, but…

"There is nothing we can do but enjoy him while he is here." Shunsui said calmly and Juushiro swallowed, looking down into his tea. "Don't get too attached to him, Juu." The warning in Shunsui's voice… he knew it was good sense. But it made his heart ache.

"It's wrong and it's becoming more common." He said and heard a sigh behind him. It was only the truth though. Situations like this were becoming increasingly common and often ended in a very ugly manner. "There must be something we can do." They had had this discussion before. Warm arms went around him and Juushiro settled against Shunsui, letting his friend and lover comfort him.

"We can't. You know why we can't." He whispered and Juushiro closed his eyes in mental pain. He did know. "It's very sad but we can't help him. You shouldn't even take him into your Division – "

"I'm going to." He said firmly. Even if it was unwise, he was not going to be denied that. "No one will think anything of it after he rescued me. And no one else will want him." The fight they'd anticipated over the young recruit had just evaporated. No one wanted the kind of discipline nightmare that Lupe promised to be. Shunsui sighed, letting go of him and Juushiro turned to look into his face. His lover was smiling wryly, good humor in his face.

"Well, that is true! And I know I cannot convince you. Just be careful, Juu." Shunsui said and Juushiro nodded. The real danger in being found out wasn't on himself, it was on Shunsui. He would not expose his love to more danger.

There was already plenty of danger in being a taichou. They didn't need to add this to it, too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Is anyone reading this story? Lack of reviews makes me sad. Two chapters with hardly any…

Starrk drew his calligraphy with intense concentration to detail.

Apparently, Aizen had once taught the optional course on calligraphy. That had interested Starrk and he'd decided to apply for it. When Aizen had taught it there had been a waiting list. Now, the class was half-full at best. Starrk wasn't too surprised. The poor fellow who'd taken it over had done so in hopes of becoming popular with the ladies, from what he could tell. He was quite good at calligraphy but not a great teacher and certainly didn't have the presence that Aizen had.

_He's not bad looking but he really needs to work on that air of desperation he's got whenever a girl talks to him._ Lilinette commented and Starrk grimaced. He was still no expert on wooing a woman but even he could see where the poor fellow was going wrong.

"I admit, if someone approached me like that I would find it off putting." He murmured. He'd gotten all kinds of propositions but all of them had been quite confident. Hollows never had an ego problem, in his experience. "Not that I can help him. My experience is still nil on the female front." He'd tried out a few of Kyoraku's lessons on some of the girls in his new classes and while they seemed to enjoy it, none of them took him seriously. Did they think he was joking, when he asked if they wanted to take a walk with him?

_Probably. When are you going to see those two taichou again?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk smiled to himself at the thought. He was meeting with them regularly, now. Shunsui had given him some intense and private lessons on concealing his reiatsu and skulking about. Starrk could now reliably sneak out of the Academy and into their house without detection… well, except by the two people he desperately wanted to meet.

"Tonight." He'd acquired some toys in the Rukongai recently. If Shunsui and Juushiro were available they would have a very interesting night. If not, he would just deliver them before making an exit. Several times, he'd arrived to find that his lovers were hosting a party or had other guests. When that happened he simply left, as quietly as he'd come.

_Why are you even trying to court the girls here when you've got these two guys on your string?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk paused for a moment. It was a good question. He did prefer the male gender and he'd discovered a great fondness for the two of them. They both reminded him a bit of himself, in different ways.

Shunsui pretended to be a lazy wastrel, most of the time. But the truth was, it was a mask. Behind it he was the powerful, intelligent man Starrk had faced on the battlefield. That reminded him of himself because he'd always been lazy, sleeping his days away and pretending he cared about nothing. That had been a mask too, because he couldn't let anyone know how the coming destruction of Karakura town troubled him. More than that, it had been a mask generated by Aizen's shikai. The masking of his true nature had left him feeling hollow, but he wasn't a true hollow. The dichotomy had helped created that strange, artificial mask in his mind. Now, he was wearing a mask again, but that mask was of Lupe, the young, somewhat innocent cadet. It seemed that he was doomed to always be something that was not quite true…

Juushiro reminded him of himself in a very different way. He was calm and sweet and peaceful. Starrk knew from Lilinette that he had a similar air of peace, and he knew he tended to be calm and sweet when he was not angered. That was what was very different about them… Ukitake seemed to be more sad than angry, when something terrible happened. Starrk's anger, on the other hand, was a dark and terrible thing. A few times he'd felt a naked desire to kill, but managed to throttle it. Surviving here meant not murdering his fellow cadets in a fit of pique.

But Lilinette's question was still unanswered. Starrk gave it a good bit of thought before he finally replied.

"Because I would like to belong here." He said softly and felt her sadness. "As wonderful as my lovers are, they will never acknowledge me. We will always be sneaking, finding dark little places and hidden times." Once, Shunsui had taken him in a broom closet. It had been hot and dirty and dangerous, and Starrk had loved every moment of it. But it also symbolized the problem he was facing. "Do I want to be a dirty little secret, Lilinette? Is this what I want with my life?" He asked her sadly and she was silent for a moment.

_I don't know Starrk. But if you're going to date a girl, make sure you really like her. I don't want you hurting someone to try an' fit in._ She warned and Starrk nodded. So far, he'd only approached a few women. His inclinations in that area went towards petite brunettes.

"I won't approach anyone I am not attracted to." He pledged to her and felt her satisfaction. Idly, he ran the rest of the girls in his class through his mind before finally deciding that none of them would do. "At least I'm in the accelerated program now." That was helpful. He'd left all of his old class behind and his new class was more interested in progressing swiftly than harassing the only openly male inclining student. He felt Lilinette's agreement.

_It's better now. And at least you have friends, sort of!_ She said and he laughed. Shunsui and Juushiro were still astronomically above him, but they were his friends in a sense. Starrk smiled as he continued his calligraphy. Who would have thought the two men who had tried to kill him and very nearly managed it would become so important to him?

Finishing his work, Starrk checked the time before nodding. He tried to arrive just before they were going to bed. Typically, he left immediately after they finished. Once in a while, he stayed, but that was usually when classes were closed at the Academy. Most of the cadets went to visit their families on such occasions. No one had to know that Starrk was going somewhere quite different.

Slipping out he quickly concealed his reiatsu and began taking a randomized path designed to shake off any watchers. His reiatsu sensing was excellent – it always had been – and tonight he knew he had a tail. Frowning, Starrk considered what to do.

_I'll help you Starrk. Call up your shikai._ Blinking, Starrk pulled his sword and spoke his command. _I can give you a bit more… you'll be speeded up now. Use it to vanish!_

"Speeded up?" That was intriguing. Briefly, Starrk wondered what his bankai would be like. He was working on it every chance he got. Unfortunately, since it required manifesting Lilinette the chances were few and far between. He couldn't call her out in front of the other cadets. Concentrating very hard on concealing his reiatsu, he moved with incredible speed. The person following him thought he was concealing his reiatsu adequately, but he thought he was dealing with a cadet. Not the Primera Espada.

_Hehehe!_ Starrk quirked an eyebrow at Lilinette and she explained as he continued to stalk. _That's the problem everyone has with you. They think they're dealing with a cadet. Even if they know what you did, they don't know what you are… or who trained you._

"Oh yes." He breathed. She was absolutely right. Aizen, Tosen and Gin had trained him. He hadn't been motivated but Aizen had been able to concentrate him on his lessons. He was the Espada who had fought one of the most powerful taichou in the Gotei 13 and very nearly won. It had been close, at the end. It was no wonder that those facing him kept making fatal mistakes.

The man was taken entirely by surprise. A booted foot hit him in the back, knocking him to the ground and then Starrk had his gun pressed firmly against the man's neck. The stranger was wearing a black outfit that concealed his body and Starrk frowned slightly. He'd honestly thought one of his fellow cadets was getting clever. Now he was starting to wonder.

"Who are you?" No answer. "Why are you following me?" Also no answer. Starrk growled, pinning the man in place with a knee in his back before searching him roughly. There was nothing that screamed his identity but the amount of concealed weapons were a strong hint. "I honestly thought you were one of my fellow cadets, trying to ambush me. But you're not, are you?" Starrk asked and again, there was no answer. "You were set to spy on me." Briefly, he considered killing the man. But then he decided that would be far too hostile for a first contact. "Tell whoever sent you that I will not be so gentle a second time." He said before releasing the man and stepping back, his sword ready. The stranger climbed to his feet before regarding him for a moment, then bowing before shunpo'ing away. Starrk stayed alert and wary for a moment, but the man was definitely gone. Relaxing, he put his zanpakuto away and continued to his destination.

When he got there, Shunsui and Juushiro were sharing a cup of tea. Starrk paused for a moment, just watching them. He was honestly very glad now he hadn't managed to kill them. The Gotei 13 had such wonderful people in it. It made him wonder how Aizen could have betrayed them.

_His mind doesn't work like yours. I don't think he even has friends._ Lilinette commented and Starrk nodded. He was sure she was right. Then he stepped into the room and they both glanced over with smiles.

"Lupe! We were hoping you would come today. It's been a wonderful day and we got you something!" Shunsui said before leaving the table. Juushiro just smiled at him warmly and Starrk blinked as Shunsui rooted through the refridgerator. "Where did I – ah yes, here it is!" He pulled out a small waxed box and brought it over with a smile. "A small treat from your favorite bakery."

"You shouldn't have." Starrk said, touched, as he took the little confection. Until he'd become their lover, he hadn't really experienced much in the way of sweets. No one had bothered with them in Los Noches and there were very few treats at the academy. Opening the box, he smiled. It was a pistachio macaron, his favorite. "Thank you."

"Have some tea, they go perfectly with tea." Shunsui invited and Starrk smiled as he dropped the bag he'd brought before taking a seat at the table. It made a suspicious clunking sound that caught Kyoraku's attention. "Whatever is that?"

"Some toys." He said easily and Shunsui's eyes lit up. It surprised him a little, sometimes, that the two taichou hadn't explored very many things. But then, the Seireitei seemed strangely repressed and visiting sex shops in the Rukongai was probably not the sort of thing taichou did. Whatever the reason behind it, Starrk knew he was introducing them to new and exotic experiences. "You remember that time you tied me up? This is the more elaborate version." They'd experimented with bondage and come to the conclusion that they liked it, so he was sure they would like this. Juushiro was blushing but Shunsui was delighted.

"Oh, don't tell me! Let me see if I can guess what they're for." He said before picking up the bag and rifling through it. Starrk watched with a smile as he slowly ate his macaron, enjoying the beautiful flavor. It did go very well with the green tea. "Well, this is obvious…" That was the blindfold. It was a nice one, resembling a sleep mask. "So are these…" Those were the leather handcuffs. They were lined with fur and had a chain that could be shortened or lengthened, depending on the needs of the moment. "Oooh, Lupe, how kinky!" That was the ball gag. Starrk smiled as Juushiro looked quite embarrassed but also interested. "Whatever is this?" Kyoraku had pulled the largest thing out of the bag and was regarding it with puzzlement. "Hmm… there's another one? Bars with cuffs on the end… oh, this is interesting. I see what they do but what are they called?"

"Spreader bars. I thought we might use one tonight." Starrk said easily. He had a position in mind for himself if the two of them found it interesting.

"On yourself, I would assume?" Shunsui said and Starrk nodded. Then the taichou smiled charmingly. "You're so good to us! Although I think I might like to see Juushiro in this someday… what a beautiful sight that would be…"

"Shunsui!" Juushiro finally laughed, shaking his head. "Maybe someday." He said with a smile and Starrk also smiled. He was tempted to suggest that Shunsui could try them, too, but he knew better. Shunsui had problems with being penetrated, but that wasn't the only thing that bothered him. He'd actually attempted to let them tie him up but they'd been forced to cut the ropes when Shunsui had almost hyperventilated. Starrk really didn't want to know what past experience had caused that reaction. Juushiro had gently scolded Shunsui afterwards for not knowing his own limits, as they had comforted him.

"What in kami's name is this?" Shunsui was looking at one of the smaller pieces and Starrk finished the last of his cookie, blushing lightly. He honestly wasn't sure they would ever use that. He considered it a bit advanced. But it was small and cheap so he'd gotten it anyway.

"That's a cock ring. It's used to deny a man his orgasm." He explained as Kyoraku looked slightly taken aback. "It's rather useful in certain kinds of bondage play, but keeping it on too long can cause damage." Then he grinned. "And there is nothing worse than going to a healer with a naughty ouchie. Believe me, I know." That had been, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. It hadn't involved a cock ring though. It had been much worse than that.

"I would never be able to show my face in the Fourth again! Let's save that for some other time." Shunsui said firmly, dropping it back into the bag. Starrk nodded. If he was going to be the one tied up, he didn't want them playing with the cock ring. He was the one who really knew how to use it. Going to the medics at the Academy for a naughty ouchie… he honestly had no idea how he would explain something like that. "You know, this is all very interesting… do you think we could get started?" He was clearly very eager to play. Starrk finished his tea before standing.

"Certainly." He couldn't wait to show them the position he had in mind for himself. And he thought that Shunsui would have a great deal of fun putting on the cuffs and bars. Juushiro less so, but he would definitely enjoy the final effect. Soon Kyoraku was enjoying putting on the cuffs and other toys and before long, he was ready.

"My kami that is sexy." That voice behind him made Starrk smile. Juushiro did sound rather awed.

"Isn't it? Lupe, you always have the best ideas." Shunsui's voice was warm and approving and Starrk blushed lightly. He couldn't see either of them. He was wearing the blindfold and the rest of the bondage gear was in place. He was kneeling on the bed, the spreader bar holding his knees out while his hands were cuffed tightly behind his back. "I see now why you didn't want the gag." Starrk gasped as a warm hand slid over his ass, pausing to slide over his genitals. He was already aroused just by the act of being put into the bondage gear and that hand found his length, teasing him slowly. "Juu, do you want to?"

"Yes, definitely." The bed moved as weight was added to it and Starrk made a small whining sound of need as his hair was gripped. This his face was guided down, letting him take in the treat waiting between those thighs. Starrk began to suck, taking his time as warm fingers opened him, spreading lube and making sure he was ready for penetration. His shinigami lovers were always so careful with that. He honestly appreciated it. There was no limping home, raw and nearly bleeding…

Warm breath against his entrance surprised him, particularly when it was followed by a warm, wet tongue, working on that puckered opening. Starrk moaned softly, letting the vibrations tease the person in front of him. He was relatively sure that was Juushiro, although he couldn't be entirely certain.

"Oh kami Starrk." Yes, definitely Juushiro. Starrk played with that length, wrapping his tongue around the throbbing erection. "You are so beautiful." That hand was stroking his hair now, running through the heavy strands. Starrk loved the gesture, feeling that flutter in his chest again. Was this love, what he was feeling?

Then Shunsui's cock began to slowly go inside him and Starrk groaned at the feeling. The familiar burn was quickly overwhelmed by pleasure, as that thick organ began to please him. How good it felt, pressing so firmly against his prostate. And by now, Shunsui was a master at finding it. Starrk felt hyper aware of his body, in the complete darkness imposed by the blindfold, and he felt it as a few pearly drops of precum leaked form his aching member. He whimpered beseechingly and tried to press his hips back, begging Shunsui mutely for more. But the shinigami was taking his time, fully seating himself in the warm body beneath him before chuckling in his ear.

"So impatient…" He murmured before rocking against him, making him groan. If his mouth hadn't been occupied Starrk would have called him a tease. Then Shunsui took pity on him, drawing back out before hammering back in. The hard, passionate thrust made Starrk jerk in pleasure, his body catching fire at the contact. His erection was begging for contact, but there was nothing Starrk could do about it. He was helpless with his hands cuffed so firmly behind his back.

Bringing his attention back to Juushiro, Starrk concentrated on taking that hot piece of meat deep in his throat. He felt it as his nose nudged black curls. It was curious, but his eyebrows were not the only thing that had maintained Juushiro's original hair color. The sound Juushiro made… Starrk's toes curled in reaction, a shot of fire going to his groin at the sound. That jolt of desire joined another jolt, as Shunsui found his prostate again. Starrk hummed, deep in his throat, wondering how long they could keep this up. The stimulation was already overwhelming.

The answer was quite a while. He was whimpering almost continuously, his body covered in sweat as Shunsui's cock pummeled his insides ruthlessly. Juushiro was writhing under his mouth, whispering endearments as he gripped brown curls, guiding Starrk to just the right places. Starrk shuddered as a hand reached under him, gripping his cock and fisting him in time with the strokes inside. He was almost there. Just a little bit more…

That bit more came as Shunsui dug his thumb into the tip of his aching member, just as the cock inside him hit him hard. Starrk came with a muffled scream as the intense pleasure rolled over him. There was a gasped warning and he was ready as Juushiro followed, swallowing the cum as he felt the cock in his throat pulse, felt the pleasure he was giving to the white haired man. Shunsui was the last… he came with a guttural groan and Starrk deeply enjoyed the feel of it, the way the hot cum coated his insides. Perhaps it was a strange thing to savor, but he did. It seemed like it was proof to him of something…

They were all left panting and breathless from the force of their orgasms, but far from exhausted. No, there was more. Starrk knew that for certain. He slowly freed his face from Juushiro's softening cock, panting as he let go of that flesh. Gentle hands touched his cheeks but didn't remove the blindfold.

"A few minutes to rejuvenate, then we switch places. I can't wait to feel your talented throat on me." Shunsui said in his ear, his voice warm with promises. Starrk shuddered in desire but…

"If we're going to switch places you need to wash your cock." He said firmly and smiled to himself at the choking sound in front of him. "We all know where it's been and that place is not clean." Not something arrancar had to worry about. Starrk suddenly wondered. If he'd been shinigami all this time, he must have been going to the bathroom but he honestly couldn't recall it. How…?

_Don't ask questions like that, Starrk. You really don't want to answers._ Lilinette advised and he promptly shoved the thought into a deep, dark box. If she said he didn't want to know then he really, really didn't want to know. There was a laugh behind him and Starrk smiled as a warm hand gripped his face, lips kissed his cheek as a rough beard rubbed against his skin.

"Oh Lupe, you are adorable. And you're right. I'll go freshen up while the two of you play, hmm?" Shunsui said and Starrk nodded with a smile. He felt the bed move as Shunsui left and then a warm hand gripped his chin, pulling him into another warm, loving kiss.

There was a lot of the night to go, but he knew one thing about it. It was going to be wonderful.

* * *

"This is beyond annoying!" Starrk spat as he felt Lilinette's sad agreement.

_Why can't we catch this guy? Gutting him would be so much fun._ She said wistfully and Starrk growled his agreement. There would be no mercy this time, if he finally managed to corner his third spy.

The first had been followed by a second, more skillful than the first. Starrk had flushed him out and beaten him up a bit, with a warning that he was going by the 'three strikes, you're out' rule. So whoever was sending them had clearly upped the ante.

The third man they'd sent was like a frustrating ghost. Starrk knew he was there. He guessed that ninety percent of the shinigami population would be oblivious, but his reiatsu sensing really was phenomenal. He kept catching flickers, little hints that there was _something_ back there. Once or twice he'd even managed to get a good look, but each time it eeled away like a cloud of smoke. The result was a truly frustrating game of cat and mouse. It had been going on for an entire half-hour, to his intense disgust.

The one consolation he had was that the spy wasn't succeeding in his mission, either. If his goal had been to find out what Starrk did on his evenings out, the man was failing miserably. Instead they were wandering through the Rukongai as Starrk tried everything in his power to shake the man or flush him out. It was beyond annoying!

"…I give the fuck up." Starrk finally snarled. It was absolutely hopeless. He couldn't get rid of this watcher and the man just wasn't giving up. He completely abandoned stealth and flared his reiatsu in a scream of blue power. It headed towards the heavens in a manner reminiscent of Kenpachi Zaraki when he removed his eyepatch, but with less damage to the surroundings. Then he stalked off, openly, letting his irritated reiatsu flow around him like a cloak. The few people on the streets at this hour instantly got out of his way. Launching into shunpo he went right back to the Academy. Pausing at the gates, he gave one last angry flare before stalking inside.

He knew he was acting like a brat, but he absolutely didn't care.

* * *

Soi Fon frowned as she listened to the report of one of her top men.

The first man she'd sent to spy on the young cadet had mostly been out of idle curiosity. After his feat in the Rukongai, Lupe was bound to be a person of interest for the future. That meant it was time to begin a dossier on him. That was routine with anyone who clearly had taichou class potential. Hitsugaya had had a file while he was still in the Academy, for very similar reasons.

Of course, Hitsugaya's file had only included his favorite restaurants and the names of his friends. It hadn't held the ugly details that Lupe's did, the fights and attempted ambushes. Perhaps it was no surprise that the young cadet had become paranoid and caught her first man. So she'd sent a second, higher member of her forces. He'd come back with a black eye, a split lip and a good assortment of bruises along with a threatening message. Soi Fon had taken that message seriously, so she'd finally dispatched one of her top agents.

He hadn't been caught by the recruit, which did not surprise her. It did surprise her to find that he'd been detected and essentially failed on his mission. It wasn't a terrible failure – that would have been getting caught – but he was clearly mortified by his lapse. Her lips quirked upwards as her officer described how the young man had finally lost his patience and stalked off in a huff. It reminded her that for all of his power, he was still little more than a child.

"This cadet is remarkable. It is a shame we cannot bring him into the Onmitsukido." She murmured to her officer. He nodded, his head still down. "You did well not to be caught. Please return to your duties." She said in dismissal and he nodded again before vanishing in a burst of shunpo. Sighing, she wished she could recruit the man for the Second. Alas, such a public reputation was not good for someone in her unit. And as proficient as the man was at hiding his reiatsu, he couldn't shield it all the time. The instructors at the academy reported that he shone like a sun, when he was relaxing himself. The essence of the Onmitsukido was to be underestimated and disregarded. No one could ever disregard Lupe Ruiz y Mendoza.

Still, what was the recruit protecting so assiduously? Soi Fon considered it before coming to a decision. She would find out herself. However good Lupe thought he was, however good he actually was, he would not be able to detect the head of the Onmitsukido, the taichou of the Second. If he did, she would give him her haori on the spot.

He would have earned it.

* * *

Fortunately, the loss of her haori did not come to pass.

Using all of her skill and subtlety, Soi Fon shadowed the cadet. He did not sense her, although he still took a winding, circuitous path clearly designed to throw off any watchers. It made her wonder again. Paranoia was certainly called for, in his position, but what was he hiding? What did he not want people to know?

Then he reached a certain house and she knew _exactly_ what he was hiding.

"Those two fools. What do they think they are doing?" She sighed, resting her forehead in her hands. Shunsui and Juushiro didn't know it, but she was very well aware of their inclinations and activities. So was Soutacihou Yamamoto and for centuries, the Onmitsukido had been quietly covering for his beloved students. Not that they needed a great deal of covering for. They were usually very prudent… until now. What was possessing them to have an affair with an openly homosexual recruit?

Although, given how subtle the young man clearly was, perhaps their decision was not as addled as it seemed. Soi Fon considered the likelihood that anyone else would stumble over them and rated it extremely low. It had taken her own skill to penetrate Lupe's ruses. But still, the young recruit was a marked man. Sooner or later he would suffer, and suffer cruelly. Shunsui and Juushiro had to know that. Why…?

Shaking her head, she departed swiftly. This really wasn't her business. She would add it to their files. Shunsui's and Juushiro's dossiers were already in the blackest part of the Onmitsukido's records, and Lupe's would join them. Only her top officers, the men and women she trusted implicitly, would have access to this information. Yamamoto would be informed at their next private briefing. If something needed to be done, he would decide. Although judging from his prior actions, he would do nothing but order her to keep taking care of Shunsui and Juushiro. The young cadet would mean nothing to him.

Ultimately, Lupe was on his own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Next chapter I'm moving to Starrk's graduation and his life as a real shinigami. :) Hehe!

"Pop quiz!" Shunsui announced, stark naked and lying in bed. Starrk lifted his head from his pillow, his eyes wide. Hadn't he left the Academy today? He was rather sure they didn't announce quizzes in bed… "What is the most intriguing sexual fact you know? Go!" He pointed right at him and Starrk's mouth dropped open.

"Err… I know plenty of intriguing sexual facts." He said after a moment and Shunsui grinned. "Perhaps I should go last?" He would likely be able to easily put them both in the shade. Shunsui laughed and turned his attention to Juushiro, who gave him a very naughty smile.

"Did you know that when Lupe licks you in the hollow of your back you scrunch up your face in the most adorable way?" He said and Shunsui actually blushed as Starrk laughed.

"Ah, you need to lick him for me now. I can't wait to see it!" He said merrily as Shunsui growled at them both, giving them a look that promised a very interesting punishment. Then he suddenly smiled.

"Ah, Juu! And did you know that you get the most adorable look when he licks your toes?" He said in a warm, insinuating tone and it was Juushiro's turn to blush. "I would like to see that again… perhaps tonight, eh?" He said and Starrk smiled. There was really no reason they couldn't do it again tonight. Classes were closed tomorrow for a holiday and he was going to spend the night. Tomorrow, he would have to leave. Shunsui and Juushiro were both going to spend the day with Juushiro's family and while they were quite friendly, inviting him would still be quite odd. "Now, what's yours?" Starrk hesitated. He had many good ones but most were rather off putting. There was one very innocent one but…

"You know how I think I might have been a hollow?" He said cautiously and Kyoraku's smile suddenly faded as Juushiro frowned a little. He almost regretted mentioning it but he forged on. "Part of the reason I think so is because I remember the strangest things… like, did you know that if you lose a strawberry up a hollow's arse it will completely vanish in a few minutes?" He said and they both stared at him, trying to absorb the information. "Utterly gone! And hollows don't make waste so we were actually searching for the damned thing. I swear I lost it and then it was gone." It had been an odd ending to the night. Juushiro choked a little as Shunsui laughed.

"Oh kami! …Tell me, Lupe, what in hell were you doing shoving strawberries up another hollow's arse?" He said with mock severity and Starrk pretended to think about it. He actually remembered the incident perfectly.

"Oh… yes. It was a costume. I was supposed to be the god of wine, but we didn't have any grapes. So I became the god of strawberries." He said sincerely and that triggered more laughter. Juushiro joined in this time, smiling. "Then we managed to find some tea cakes and I became the god of strawberry shortcakes – "

"Oh kami, stop!" Shunsui wheezed as Juushiro coughed a little. But instead of tapering off, the coughing increased and Starrk stared as blood started to drip between his fingers. Shunsui quickly had an arm around him, supporting the stricken man. "Juushiro?" He gently rubbed his loves' back as he struggled to regain his breath.

"Sorry… all the stupid things… to trigger an attack…" He wheezed out, but the coughing just wasn't dying down. Starrk bit his lip, suddenly feeling guilty. That innocent laughter could start such a thing…

"Oh kami… Lupe, I hate to do this to you but can you go? You can't come with us to the Fourth." Shunsui said softly and Starrk nodded, his heart twisting. His night with them had suddenly vanished but that was unimportant compared to Juushiro's health. And what bothered him was what Shunsui had anticipated… that he couldn't be beside Juushiro's side.

"Of course." He murmured before adding. "I'm sorry." That was stupid and he knew it. Sure enough, Juushiro gave him a weak smile.

"Don't… be. Rather die… than give up laughing…" He rasped out before coughing again. Starrk quickly dressed as Shunsui helped Juushiro into a sleeping robe, then donned his own. He left through the back as they departed from the front.

It hurt, but there was nothing he could do to help them with this.

* * *

The next couple weeks were very hard on him, but Starrk suffered through it silently.

In a way, the difficulties he was having made him feel selfish. How could he be thinking of himself at a time like this? But he couldn't help the ache inside, the way he missed the two men who shared his nights. It was more than just the sex. It was the conversations they had, the quiet games they played before they moved on to the bedroom. He was missing them. And the reason they were gone was a deep pain in his heart.

After a while he heard that Juushiro was recuperating on his family estates. The white haired taichou was very popular and one of his admirers mentioned it. Starrk wanted to pump the girl for every detail but held back. He didn't want to betray too much interest. He considered making a trip to the Ukitake families' estates but kept putting it off. It wasn't wise. He needed to stay away. It was what they wanted.

But finally the strain became too much. He simply had to see how Juushiro was doing. Putting his abilities to the test, he set himself to scout out Juushiro's family estates. He approached it like he would have a very important mission, when he'd been an Espada. He moved carefully and cautiously, making sure he was overlooking nothing.

It was, perhaps, overkill. There were no watchers on the Ugendo. There were a few guards but they were clearly largely ceremonial, meant to keep away thieves. They were not meant to repel a serious invader. There were some kido wards but again, they were geared towards normal intruders. None of that could keep him out and Starrk slipped inside as easily as breathing.

What he found there made him smile. Juushiro was sitting at the edge of a very beautiful pond, feeding the carp with a smile. He was wearing a white and blue yukata and his hair slid down it like a cloud of moonlight. For a moment, Starrk was dazzled by the image he presented.

Shunsui was there too, napping in the light of the dying sun. His straw hat was over his face and he looked wonderfully comfortable, using his kimono as a blanket. They just seemed so right together and for a moment, Starrk hesitated. What if they told him to go away? What if they took him to task for even coming? A tight knot twisted under his heart at the thought. Then he shook it aside. If he was going to be rejected, he was going to be rejected. Standing there dithering like an idiot would not help. Carefully checking the house he nodded. There was no one close. Then he gently touched the two taichou with his reiatsu and Juushiro looked up, surprised, as Shunsui's soft snores stuttered.

"Lupe?" Juushiro said softly as Shunsui pushed his hat aside with a frown. Starrk stepped out of the trees. He'd hidden himself quite well. He quickly walked over, a small box in hand. It was a gift and he knew it was one that would be appreciated.

"You shouldn't be here." Shunsui's tone was flat and Starrk flinched slightly before meeting his eyes. They were wary and assessing, somehow reminding him of the last time they had fought. Then Juushiro set a hand on Shunsui's arm and his lover glanced at him, breaking the contact.

"Shunsui. I'm sure he's being careful." Juushiro said, a gentle admonishment. Shunsui's lips tightened before he shook his head, a silent disagreement. "And it must have been difficult for him, not knowing what's been happening. Lupe, would you like to take a seat?" Starrk met warm brown eyes and nodded, moving to sit down by Juushiro's other side. Shunsui sighed but did not protest further.

"I got these for you." He said softly before offering Juushiro the box. He took it, a touch surprised and opened it before smiling in pleasure.

"Ohagi! Thank you." Juushiro said, looking at the box. "And what are these?" Accompanying the traditional Japanese sweets were some things that were most definitely not Japanese in nature. Starrk blushed slightly before glancing at Shunsui. He was still looking at him with that thoughtful look. It worried him.

"Chocolate covered marzipan. I got them for you." He said softly. He knew Shunsui liked those particular treats. His expression became surprised for a brief moment before grey eyes softened. Shunsui smiled at him and Starrk felt the knot in his chest loosen. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have come but… it's been so long…" He looked down for a moment, then up again as Juushiro touched his arm.

"Don't worry about it. What do you think of the gardens?" He asked and Starrk glanced around. He had very limited experience with gardens, but some of the trees looked a bit odd to him. The pond, though, was absolutely beautiful. He especially loved the fish in it.

"It's gorgeous. Those koi fish… they are so large. I've never seen anything like them." He said and Shunsui suddenly laughed. "Huh?" Starrk looked over, surprised and saw that Juushiro was smiling.

"The fish were a gift from Yachiru, stolen from the Kuchiki manor." He explained as Shunsui smiled. "Bya-kun has no idea what's going on. I haven't had the heart to tell him… and I don't want to give them back." He admitted with a slight blush and Starrk couldn't help but smile. "What do you think of the trees?" Juushiro sounded a bit wistful. "I trim them myself, although I know I don't really have the talent for it." He admitted and Starrk glanced around at the trees again.

"They're a bit odd, but they suit the place." Knowing Juushiro had done it himself made it nicer, somehow. "I – oh. Someone is coming." And it was someone with a bit of reiatsu sensing as well. A very minor power, a person who would never be a shinigami, but not one of the servants. Not that he would have wanted a servant to see him either. They talked, everyone did. "I should be going. When will you be coming home?" He let all his wistful longing enter his voice. Juushiro blushed as Shunsui's smile deepened.

"Perhaps another week." Juushiro said softly and Starrk nodded. "Thank you, Lupe."

"It was nothing." He said before vanishing into the trees. A few moments later the door to the gardens opened and a woman stepped out. Juushiro's sister, Starrk assumed. He could see the family resemblance, if he tried. She was carrying a small plate with little red shapes.

"Brother? I made you some ohagi… oh. You already have some?" She stopped in confusion as she saw the little box. "And… are those chocolates?" Starrk couldn't help but smile at the surprise in her voice. Juushiro laughed and offered her one. She accepted it with a smile.

"Yes, I thought you would like those." Shunsui said easily, covering the minor lapse. "And we can always use more ohagi, eh? Thank you Jennu." He took the plate as she settled down beside them. Starrk smiled slightly. That was sweet.

He couldn't be part of it though. Ignoring the slight pain in his heart at the thought, Starrk departed the garden.

All he could do for his two lovers was be discreet.

* * *

Some time later.

"…We really should break it off." Shunsui said in a low tone and Juushiro flinched. He knew, by all logic, that Shunsui was right. Lupe would only cause them trouble. And yet…

"I don't want to. Do you?" He asked and Shunsui looked away. It was more than enough of an answer. "I… care for him." Lupe was simply adorable. That sweet smile of his, the warmth in his grey eyes… but it was more than that. His personality was simply charming. He knew so many interesting things and could always make them laugh. He was a clever young man with interesting thoughts, competent and caring. Despite the way they were trying to keep him at arm's length, he was slipping into their hearts. Shunsui looked at him and Juushiro met troubled grey eyes.

"I care for him too. That's why we should break it off, before it becomes more." He said softly and Juushiro bit his lip.

"Isn't it already?" He asked quietly and Shunsui closed his eyes. "Remember what you told me. We should enjoy him while he's here. Why cause ourselves pain before we must?" Yes, it would hurt to lose him. But pushing him away now would hurt just as much and then Lupe would be truly alone. Apparently, he'd had no luck in attracting any women and even less luck at making friends. They were really all the young man had. Juushiro had hopes for that though. He'd already spoken to Rukia about the young man and she'd agreed to take Lupe under her wing. Hopefully he could make some female friends, particularly among the younger set. They were less likely to be disgusted by his differences. "And he's different than the others. Stronger, wiser." Lupe was so wary, so careful.

"No one is perfect, Juushiro. And that's no way to live." Shunsui said in a low tone and Juushiro nodded sadly. "But I suppose you're right. I don't think I could let go even if I wanted to." He sighed before smiling. It was a crooked, unhappy smile. "You know, I was thinking. Perhaps I'll give him a ticket to the ball. Wouldn't it be nice to have him there?" He said and Juushiro choked a little.

"You go from talking about giving him up to that?!" It seemed absolutely schizophrenic. The ball was a very large, noble event that Kyoraku was bound to attend. His family was trying, with a notable lack of success, to marry him off. Shunsui had actually been betrothed three times and managed to weasel out of it each time. Twice by so offending the prospective bride that her family cut it off, and the third by pure chance. The poor girl had died in an accident only a week before the wedding. Tragic but also fortuitous for them. "Why would you want to?" As the second son and current heir to a very powerful noble clan, Shunsui had a few extra tickets he could give out. It was acceptable to give them to non-nobles, if they were notable in some way. Lupe certainly qualified but it was still a very odd decision. Shunsui sighed.

"My family is thinking of betrothing me again. You know I can't just refuse. So I was thinking I would take Lupe and introduce him to anyone my family particularly likes. Perhaps he can take the heat off me, eh?" He said lightly and Juushiro thought it was mildly insane. "And even if he doesn't perhaps the young ladies' families will decide I'm not worth the trouble again. Remember that one year where I wore that beautiful yellow – "

"I think this is a better idea than that was." Juushiro said hastily. The outfit Shunsui had worn had been the talk of the whole Seireitei, but not in a good way. It was actually fortunate he had a reputation as a womanizer or someone would surely have questioned his sexuality by now. As it was, they just thought he was desperate to maintain his freedom to prong as many ladies as he liked. "Perhaps you could lend him some clothes. I doubt he has anything appropriate." The yukata Lupe often wore to their house were nice, but not fancy enough for a noble ball. Juushiro doubted he had anything finer, though. Why would he? Shunsui nodded thoughtfully.

"You're right. I could even have something fitted to him, there's plenty of time. He should be graduating soon, shouldn't he?" Shunsui mused and Juushiro nodded. Lupe had been pushed up a level already. His skills were phenomenal and his book learning was progressing rapidly since the problems with his math skills had been ironed out.

"Early next year. He'll still be a cadet at the ball but given what he did, that shouldn't be a problem." Fame faded quickly but it only took a small reminder for people to remember the valiant young cadet. It wasn't every day that a recruit defeated an arrancar and saved a taichou. Shunsui's story for the Seireitei Communications had been quite popular, too. "You really want to do this?" Juushiro asked wonderingly. It did seem like Shunsui was going from one extreme to another. His lover shrugged.

"Why not? And then you don't need to come." He said and Juushiro winced. As a single man he got an invitation and he usually attended for Shunsui's sake, but he honestly hated it. He was not an eligible bachelor, with his disease. The other noble families might have overlooked that if he were a high noble like Shunsui, but he wasn't. Juushiro was honestly thankful for that but it left him acting as a wallflower while Shunsui was forced to dance. "I won't mind Juu. I know it's tedious for you."

"Tedious is nothing compared to how it is for you." Juushiro said softly as Shunsui shook his head with a smile.

"But Juu, I love dancing!" He said lightly but Juushiro wasn't fooled. Yes, Shunsui loved dancing. He didn't love it nearly as much when he knew he was being pushed and measured, forced into a mold he absolutely did not want. "Don't worry, Lupe can keep me company and cut in when I've had enough. Just a bit of coaching and he'll be perfect. And how irritated some people will be when they realize who he is!" Shunsui sounded very cheerful about it and Juushiro couldn't help but smile.

"Just don't make him any enemies. He has enough already." He cautioned. That was a remote fear, though. Everyone would know who was really to blame. "Ah, it's up to you. Just remember to get him some clothes." If Shunsui forgot that, Lupe would be terribly underdressed. That would just be awkward for him.

"Of course! Now, would you like to play some go?" Shunsui asked and Juushiro smiled. Soon they were enjoying some tea as they played. To his vague disappointment, Lupe did not appear. But they were home a bit early. He would probably make an appearance in a couple days.

Juushiro honestly couldn't wait to see him again.

* * *

"How do I look?"

_Really good. Like, seriously good._ Lilinette said and Starrk smiled, running a hand over his formal kimono. Well, Shunsui's originally. But his kind lover had had it fitted to him, so it was his now. They were similar in size but Starrk was a bit slimmer, with a slightly lighter build. He was also just a touch taller but that was almost unnoticeable.

The kimono and hakama he was wearing were a very formal black. He had a matching haori with delicate, silver embroidery. The fabrics were all much richer than he could ever have afforded, even second hand. Starrk ran a hand over the haori, smiling slightly. It felt wonderful under his palm.

The one thing he wore that really reflected himself, though, was his necklace. He'd recently found it in the Rukongai. It was the claw of a wolf, strung on a leather thong. It hardly matched the rest of his clothes but Starrk didn't care. This one thing was for him. It reflected him completely.

_Actually, I think it does look good with your kimono. It takes all that formality and gives it a sort of barbarian chic. I bet the girls will think so too._ Lilinette commented and Starrk arched an eyebrow at the thought before hesitating. Did he even want to attempt to court a woman anymore? He quickly decided he didn't. He was too lost on his current bed partners. He would feel like he was leading her on. _I'm so glad you just decided that. I didn't want to say it but I think you're falling in love._

"Love… is this foolish, Lilinette?" He said softly. He'd never come close to falling in love in Los Noches, not once. But could he have, if Aizen's shikai had not been distorting his thoughts? Starrk thought it was possible. The shikai had convinced him he was a hollow and incapable of such things. There was a brief pause from his zanpakuto.

_Love is usually foolish, Lupe._ She said softly and Starrk blinked at the use of his false name. It suddenly seemed very meaningful to him and he smiled. Perhaps he should start thinking of himself that way. He was Lupe…

Shaking aside the whimsy he left the Academy. This was a day off, largely due to the ball. It was the inaugural ball of the season and many of the students and some teachers were required to attend, so the academy had made the best of a bad thing and simply given them all the day off. It was better than dealing with half-empty classes. Everyone else appreciated the rest.

He went directly to the ball, presenting his scroll to the gatekeeper. The man examined it minutely, clearly checking to make sure the seal of the Kyoraku clan was authentic. Lupe wasn't too surprised. No doubt party crashers could be a problem. Soon he was admitted and he glanced around, admiring the room.

"Gorgeous." He whispered, gazing around. The room was vast and seemed like a strange hybridization of the height of European and Japanese culture. But then, debutante balls were likely not a Japanese custom. No doubt Soul Society had stolen the idea, since it was very useful for any culture with a hereditary nobility. Leaving that thought aside Starrk just examined the room for a moment. There was marble everywhere. A soft white lined with grey and filled with delicate crystals, it was both gorgeous and expensive. Delicate columns of it held up the ceiling and were hung with delicate, Japanese style paper lanterns. The walls were decorated with murals that were most certainly done in the Japanese style, gorgeous, beautiful landscapes. Above, the ceiling was embossed with the symbols of all the greatest clans and gilded heavily. Starrk didn't even want to think about how much that would have cost. There was also a large dance floor, tiled with exotic hardwoods in a geometric pattern –

"Lupe!" That voice made him smile. Shunsui was slipping easily through the crowd, murmuring pleasantries to a few people as he did. Then his smile faded as he noticed the slight flush, the minute dilation of his lover's pupils. Shunsui had already been drinking and it was very early. While he drank all the time, the effects were usually unnoticeable. This time he'd been indulging more heavily and it was showing, just a bit. "I'm so glad you could make it! Here, have a cocktail, they're delicious." Shunsui pressed a glass on him with a smile and Starrk was honestly intrigued. The thing was three colors, red, yellow and green. It also had…

"My god. Is that a piece of ice frozen into the shape of a monkey?" Starrk regarded the drink with some alarm as Shunsui laughed. "And it has a paper umbrella… with cherries stuck on. How many brain cells will this kill?" He was about to take a sip before he noticed the coup de gras. "And did someone use sugar and egg white to etch an elephant on the side of the glass?" He knew that trick from a party Gin had thrown. It had been rather a lot of fun but he considered that sort of thing, on a glass, to be a warning about the contents. Shunsui blinked at him before looking at the glass curiously.

"Is that how they do that? I've always wondered. Lupe, you know the most amazing things!" Shunsui marveled as he lifted up his glass. Stark noticed that his was etched with a leaping dolphin. "As for your brain cells, oh, I don't know. A few million?" He said cheerfully and Starrk winced. "I'm sure you have more to spare than me! Drink up!" Starrk considered refusing but then considered the likelihood that Shunsui would just finish both their drinks. Deciding that it was an absolute certainty, he took a sip of his drink. It was alarmingly delicious.

_Say goodbye to those millions of brain cells, for sure. If that didn't kill 'em the rest of this night will._ Lilinette sounded highly entertained. Shunsui spoke softly, then, catching his attention. Slightly drunk or not, the taichou was still fully in control of himself.

"You remember our plan?" He asked and Starrk nodded. Tonight, he was going to be Shunsui's faithful wingman. Although in quite a different way from the usual. Normally, a wingman helped his partner find a receptive lady. His job was to rescue Shunsui from eligible, interested noblewomen. He was quite sure he could handle it, after Shunsui's coaching. The key was confidence and he certainly knew how to be that!

It worked perfectly. Starrk deeply enjoyed himself, cutting in whenever a partner was getting a touch too interested in Shunsui. That happened quite a lot… he would have been surprised but Shunsui had explained his position. As a taichou and the current heir to the Kyoraku clan – his older brother was dead – he would be a great catch to any woman. All the young ladies on the make were bound to send glances his way and if any got the idea that he was interested he might end up betrothed again. He needed to be social but not too social. It was a delicate balance.

Starrk helped him maintain it and had a great time dancing. He was very good at dancing… he'd only had a few lessons but he was naturally agile and had a great sense of timing. A few of the young women seemed interested but Starrk didn't delude himself. The girls here were nobles, often quite high ones. They might like him but their parents wouldn't.

The only thing he didn't like about the evening was the alcohol Shunsui kept pressing on him. Starrk tried to stretch it out, but it was hard. He had nothing even close to Shunsui's bottomless capacity. By the time they were done, he was feeling entirely too good.

"Damn you. I can't afford to be drunk." Starrk growled to his partner, but without too much heat. Poor Shunsui… he wasn't showing it much but Starrk knew him very well by now. He was as tense as a wound up spring. But Starrk knew his own situation wasn't great. Plenty of the students who had harassed him were present at this event. Fortunately they mostly hadn't seemed to recognize him in his finery, associating so closely with a taichou. But he couldn't count on that and he was in no condition to handle an ambush.

"Oh Lupe, don't worry. You can come home with me." Shunsui said and Starrk almost stumbled. He'd assumed they were going back to the academy, although he'd be in danger as soon as they parted. There would be plenty of young noble students heading to their rooms and they would likely be drunk. Perfect circumstances for trouble to happen. "I'm just keeping my faithful wingman out of trouble. Completely normal, eh?" Starrk looked into Shunsui's face and realized he wasn't just a little drunk now. He was extremely drunk. So drunk that he was moving very carefully, with a slow deliberateness. Starrk wasn't even sure Shunsui could defend himself at the moment.

"…I think you might need me to keep you out of trouble. A taichou getting robbed and murdered in an alleyway while he's dead drunk… it would be such an ignoble way to go." He commented as he put an arm around Shunsui's waist. His friend and lover looked wounded but then stumbled, almost going down. That arm around him was all that saved him. "Very well, I'll go home with you." Surely Shunsui's public drunkenness would be explanation enough. Starrk hoped so, at least. He thought they were skirting a fine line now but he'd been left with little choice.

Going home alone wasn't safe for either of them.


	7. The Painful Past

Juushiro sipped his tea as the meeting progressed.

This was often the most difficult, acrimonious meeting of the year. Because this was the time that every Division was fighting to get the very cream of the crop from the Academy's graduating class. The accelerated class in particular was in high demand. And after all the deaths in the winter war and the events leading up to it, they needed all the recruits they could get.

That was what made it so amusing when a certain name came up. Especially because some people had heard of him, but not heard of everything.

"Why the fuck don't you want him? You were whining about your Division really fucking hard for that other one!" Kenpachi asked Hitsugaya, who just glared at him. "Isn't this the guy who rescued Ukitake? Does he have some kind of horrible disease or something?" So far only Juushiro had offered to take him and that was downright odd, for someone like this. Kenpachi was interested but wary of the strange behavior.

"He is openly homosexual." Soi Fon said, her tone completely neutral. Juushiro wasn't too surprised. He would never dare say it aloud but he'd suspected her hero worship of Yoruichi had some element of sexual attraction. Zaraki stared at her for a moment before sitting back and rubbing the scar on his cheek.

"Ah, what a pain in the ass." He said and Shunsui suddenly laughed. Everyone looked at him as he tried to explain.

"Men with men… pain in the ass… heh…" He said and Zaraki blinked before laughing at the rather crude joke. Juushiro couldn't help but smile. That was so like Shunsui. "But he will be quite a pain in the ass for discipline. You're sure you're up for it, Juu?" He said, concerned, and Juushiro nodded.

"Someone has to take him and I want to help him. He saved my life." He said firmly and there were nods around the table. His desire was quite understandable. "Rukia has agreed to take him under her wing. I'm hopeful that things will work out well." There was some hope, with his fukutaichou on board.

"I am sure you will be successful. Now, about the next…" Yamamoto said. His Division needed recruits too, but he wasn't going to take Lupe. Going on, Juushiro concentrated on getting the best recruits he could.

He would need them, for the future.

* * *

Starrk stood with his graduating class, tall and proud.

He'd done it. He'd completed his training, earning very high marks in every category on his final examinations. He was among the top of his class, if not the very top. After today, he would embark on his career as an official shinigami.

Names were called out and the cadets no more were given the emblems of their new Divisions. Starrk smiled as his name was called and he walked forward confidently to receive the emblem of the Thirteenth Division. He'd known that was coming. Juushiro had told him a week ago that it had been agreed that he would be joining his Division.

Starrk was really quite eager to see his new home. He expected it would not be too much different from his place at the Academy. It was good he thought so, because he was right. In the Division barracks he was given a small room, private but not at all luxurious. That was fine, although as the Primera Espada, Starrk had enjoyed a large suite of rooms. It had never meant much to him though. Setting in his few personal belongings he secured the door with a kido lock. He'd realized that was necessary after he'd tried to dress in the morning to find that someone had fouled all his clothing. Starrk had no idea if someone would do such a thing here but he wasn't going to take chances.

Again, the showers and baths were communal. Starrk wasn't surprised although he was disappointed. He would likely need to bathe at irregular hours. The mess hall was large and the food smelled good, although it wasn't fancy. Starrk wondered if he would be able to afford the occasional meal out now. The pay was low but the lodging and food were free.

"Lupe-san?" Turning in surprise, he saw a very petite young woman with black hair and violet eyes. She was vaguely familiar to him and it took him a moment, but he finally placed her. She was the shinigami who had killed Aaroniero. He'd considered doing something about that at the time, but finally decided that he'd never liked the odd Novena Espada anyway. However, if it was the same woman that meant…

"Kuchiki fukutaichou?" He hazarded a guess and she smiled at him. There was something determined about it, as if she was putting in a special effort to be friendly. He bowed to her politely before speaking again. "I'm pleased to meet you."

"And I'm pleased to meet you. Would you care to join me?" She offered and Lupe hesitated. He knew the tables were segregated by rank. That was where the officers sat.

"If it will not cause offense." He offered and her smile seemed to warm a little.

"Of course not! You saved Ukitake taichou's life. We all care for him very much." She said firmly and Lupe smiled before nodding. "Please, this way." She led him to his new spot in the mess hall and Lupe was aware of some less than admiring gazes on his back. But there was nothing he could do if they chose to hate him for what he was, or even just for his skill and good fortune.

Rukia seemed friendly, if far above him. But then, so were Juushiro and Shunsui. He would see what friends he could make.

* * *

"Mmm, that was wonderful." Starrk opened his eyes with a smile as a warm hand ran over his chest, finding the faint scar there. Shunsui traced the mark and Starrk idly wondered what the man would think if he knew that was the wound he'd delivered himself, the one that should have killed him. "This must have been a bad wound. What caused it?" He asked and Starrk couldn't help but laugh.

"Nothing important." He said firmly and Shunsui shrugged, dropping it. He was looking lazy and content, languid in the aftermath of his pleasure. Juushiro was behind him, dozing lightly. Tonight had just been normal sex, no special toys or games and they'd all loved it. "Mmm… did you know that if you properly stretch and lube someone they can take two at once?" Starrk said to change the subject and also to amuse his mate. Sure enough, Shunsui stared at him and Juushiro opened his eyes, surprised. "And some people can take three but I think they're insane." He said with a smile. That had been Barragan and his fraccion again… it had been interesting to participate in but he had not been the one taking it, thankfully. Ggio had seemed to enjoy it.

"Three? …How would that even work?" Shunsui wondered as Juushiro snuggled against his shoulder. "What else do you know, Lupe?" He asked teasingly and Starrk smiled.

"Did you know if you choke someone before their orgasm, it will heighten the pleasure?" He said but the reaction was absolutely nothing he'd expected. Horror flashed across Shunsui's face, followed by anguish. Starrk could feel the man abruptly tense and his eyes went wide in surprise. "Shunsui?" He said as Juushiro lifted his head, also sensing the terrible tension in their lover. Shunsui rested his face in a hand, breathing heavily as his shoulders trembled. "Oh kami, Shunsui, I'm sorry…" This had to have something to do with his problems about being penetrated and tied up. Who had strangled him? Starrk gently caressed Shunsui's face as Juushiro whispered in his ear, gentle, reassuring words.

"It's… not your fault…" He finally said, his voice thick with held back emotion. "I'm sorry… I just…" A heavy, anguished sob wracked his frame and Starrk crooned softly in his ear, trying to lend comfort. Shunsui buried his face against his shoulder, and Starrk could feel his heavy breathing, the way he was struggling against his own feelings.

Eventually, the breathing eased out and Starrk met Juushiro's eyes. He looked grim and unhappy as he cuddled up to Shunsui from behind, trying to lend what comfort he could. Starrk was sure they were thinking the same thing… someone had victimized Shunsui in the past. But who could have done such a thing to someone so powerful? Starrk was still turning the puzzle over in his mind when Shunsui spoke.

"I should tell you." He said, pulling his face away. The pain on his face was raw and Starrk swallowed to see it. "I've meant to for years, decades. I'm sorry Juu. I should have trusted you with this." He sounded terribly guilty as he turned so he was lying on his back instead of his side. Juushiro smiled down at him, gently taking his hand.

"It's nothing to worry about, Shunsui. I've always know there was something, but if you didn't want to talk about it I respected that. Are you sure you want to talk about it now?" He asked and Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment before nodding.

"I think I do. You both deserve to know why I did that." He sounded ashamed of himself and Starrk gently rested a hand on his chest. Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment before telling them the story. "A very long time ago, I had just turned sixteen." He laughed, a short, pained sound. "I was so proud of myself… I'd just been accepted to the Academy, so young. My mother and father were so proud of me and we had a great birthday party, all my friends came… it was so wonderful. I thought I was on the top of the world, that nothing could go wrong." There was such bitter pain in his voice. "I was so proud of my skills, I decided to do something stupid. To celebrate, I and my friends went to a tavern in the Rukongai. It was fun at first. We started to get drunk and went to a different tavern, living it up. We were probably quite obnoxious. After all, we were young, powerful nobles. Who would dare touch us?"

"There was a fight at a tavern. Somewhere in the ruckus, I was separated from my friends. I'm grateful for that now… if they had seen… but they didn't. I was trying to find them when I was challenged to a fight. Kami, I was so full of myself. I said yes without a thought." Shunsui laughed and the sound was jagged, pained. "We took it to the back alley and that was where I learned how young I truly was."

"It was like – like facing myself as I am now. He tore me to pieces. I knew after the first few minutes that the bastard was playing with me… I was so ashamed! Couldn't he kill me honorably?" Shunsui's voice was full of mockery for his past self. Starrk gently rested a kiss on his shoulder as Juushiro comforted him. "It wasn't long before he tired of the game. I was on the ground then, his knee in my back as he gripped my hair. He told me I had two choices… he could kill me now, or I could go with him and satisfy his lusts for the night." Shunsui sounded faint as he remembered and Starrk winced. "I almost told him to kill me. I almost did… but then I remembered my parents, my brothers and sisters. All my hopes and dreams for the future, my life at the academy… I didn't want it to end like that, in a dirty alleyway, all over in a pointless moment of stupidity. So I said yes."

"Oh kami." Juushiro whispered as Shunsui continued. Starrk swallowed, feeling the other man's pain.

"He tied me up and dragged me off. No one gave us a second glance. He took me to this filthy little room… there was nothing there but a ragged old mattress. He shoved me down onto it, my hands still tied behind my back, and told me the first thing I would do was suck him off." Shunsui swallowed and Starrk thought of something.

"Do you want a glass of water?" He asked quietly and Shunsui hesitated before nodding. "I'll get that." Sliding off the bed he grabbed a robe before going to the bathroom. Quickly filling a glass, he returned with it to see that Shunsui was sitting up now, his back against the headboard as Juushiro cuddled up beside him, running a hand through unbound hair. Taking the glass Shunsui gave him a wan smile and drank before continuing.

"I remember thinking that it wasn't too bad." He said softly, looking into his glass of water with a pained, pinched expression. "A cock in my mouth was strange but not too bad. I thought, if it was all like that, I would be fine. How naïve… He was still hard when he grabbed my hair and pulled me off. Then he put his fingers in front of me and told me to suck." Shunsui laughed, another jagged, painful sound. "I didn't understand. I was such a child! He laughed and told me if I wanted it dry, he could do that too."

"It hurt. It hurt so much." Shunsui said softly, looking away, a suspicious wetness in his grey eyes. "Just his fingers… I tried so desperately to get away from him. My legs were free. But he was bigger and stronger. I would say he reminds me of Kenpachi Zaraki, but it would be a gross insult to Zaraki. He may be bloodthirsty but he isn't cruel. Kami, how cruel that man was to me! Just his fingers and I felt like my body was on fire. When he took me I thought I would die. I thought he was tearing me apart. I remember… I cried, I couldn't help it. I was so ashamed but I couldn't stop." Shunsui took another sip of the water, rubbing his face for a moment.

"He finally came inside me and I thought it would be over. Not even close… he pulled out of me and shoved me onto my back before leering into my face. He told me he'd thought a brat like me would be a virgin and with as tight as I was, he was sure of it. He started to fondle me… I wasn't aroused. How could I be, after what he'd done? I thought there was no way he could reach me." Shunsui managed a weak chuckle. "But I didn't know. I had no idea. He put his fingers back into me… searching for something. I had no idea what. But when he found it, I felt it. Kami, I did… I didn't understand how he could be making me feel things like that. How I could be getting hard at his touch. He kept playing with me, leering down at me like a nightmare." Starrk closed his eyes, feeling Shunsui's pain. "When I finally came I felt so dirty. I was crying again and I didn't care that he saw. I felt so violated and used. He laughed and told me he was going to show me all the things my pretty body could do."

"That was how the rest of the night progressed. He would take me, rape me violently, then force me to feel pleasure. I don't know how long it went on… it felt like forever. It seemed like he would never stop. But then he told me to suck his fingers again and this time I did it. I understood now." Shunsui said softly and Starrk wished he could go back in time to murder the man who had done this to him. "He took me again but this time he wasn't trying to bring me just pain… He kept hitting that thing inside me, the thing I couldn't name, and it started to feel good. Even after all the pain, all the blood, it started to feel good… then he clamped a hand around my throat. I couldn't breathe. I thought he was a liar, I thought I was going to die there in that dirty little room. And I couldn't do a single thing to save myself. My hands were still tied behind my back."

"When I came I almost didn't feel it." Shunsui said, his hands shaking as he finished the last of his water. Juushiro took the glass, an arm around him as Starrk curled up on the other side. "But when he let me go, let me breathe, I could feel it all through my belly… kami, it was intense. He laughed and told me he'd known he would make me cum with nothing but his cock by the end. Then he cut the ropes and left me there, like a discarded piece of trash."

"I felt so dirty, so used. Like I'd been eaten up and my bones tossed aside, nothing but soiled garbage." Shunsui said raggedly, putting an arm around Juushiro and resting his face in white hair for a moment. "But as bad as that was, it wasn't the worst. The worst was when I finally got home to my loving family." His tone could have etched glass and Starrk winced. "My mother and father… I had to tell them what had happened. I needed help. I felt so fragile, like a vase that could break at the slightest blow. A blow they were happy to administer… father told me I should have died with honor rather than let myself be defiled like that. Mother told me we would never discuss it again and I should go to my room to clean myself, I smelled disgusting." Shunsui dropped his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking. Starrk felt a sharp burst of rage and from the look on his face, Juushiro was feeling something similar. It was very unusual from the mild manner taichou.

"Kami. Didn't they understand that those kind of wounds don't just go away?" Juushiro said, his voice shaking with anger. Shunsui looked up at him with a wan smile. "And you had just turned sixteen! You were still a child! How did they think you would cope with that?"

"Well, I don't know how they thought I would get over it. But I think I handled it reasonably well, on the surface. I went to the Academy and immediately began a campaign to seduce every eligible female in my class." Shunsui said lightly and Starrk blinked. "I think I was just trying to make myself feel like a man again. He'd taken away my self-respect, my pride. It seemed like this was a way to get it back. Although I knew I was lying to myself… I knew I didn't really want them. I was terrified to admit what I wanted until I met you, Juu." The warmth in his face and voice made Juushiro turn a little pink. Starrk watched with a smile as Shunsui pulled his love into a gentle kiss. "You fixed me in so many ways. Even before we fell into bed together, I felt like you made me whole again."

"Shunsui." Juushiro whispered before hugging him tightly. Starrk just watched them, feeling apart. This was their shared history, now. He was a recent addition and his thoughtless words had triggered this. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too." Starrk offered and Shunsui looked up with a small smile before offering him an arm. Starrk settled against his side, hugging him as that arm went around his shoulders. Bringing him in.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. Really, I should have done this so long ago… you're the first people I've ever told, besides my mother and father." He said softly, nuzzling chestnut hair. Starrk closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the closeness. "…I'm tired." Shunsui said before he yawned. Juushiro smiled at him before glancing at Starrk.

"So am I." He said and Starrk understood. It was time for him to leave. But he was curiously reluctant.

"Let me stay with you while you fall asleep." He said softly and Juushiro looked surprised as Shunsui tilted his head slightly at the request. "I want to see you. I'll leave as soon as you're asleep." He knew better than to stay but he wanted to see them together, so peaceful. Shunsui gave him a small, understanding smile.

"That's so sweet. I like watching Juushiro as he sleeps too…" Shunsui yawned again before sliding down, into the covers. Juushiro curled up beside him, smiling at them both. "Mmm… Lupe?" Shunsui asked, his voice already thick with sleep. "Will you ever tell us about your scar?" He asked and Starrk hesitated.

"Maybe someday." He whispered before gently kissing his lover's cheek. Only a snore answered him. Glancing behind, he saw that Juushiro was rapidly dropping off as well. "…" Smiling, Starrk watched them sleep. When he was sure he wouldn't disturb them he slipped out of bed to get dressed.

He needed to return to the unit barracks. He would see his taichou tomorrow.

* * *

"No. Absolutely not." Starrk said firmly. He was not budging.

"You are being extremely disrespectful." Shunsui said, glaring at him dangerously. Starrk might have been more intimidated if it hadn't been for the subject at hand.

"Very well. Absolutely not, Kyoraku taichou!" He said with a bow and his superior glowered at him.

"Are you mocking me?" He asked suspiciously before sighing and scratching his hair under his hat. "Why Lupe? Why won't you teach me?" Shunsui asked plaintively and Starrk sighed.

"Many reasons… first, this is the Thirteenth Division. If we're going to do something this silly we should probably do it in the Eighth. Second, it's the middle of the day. You do not need to start doing shots in the middle of the day. And we all know that's what would happen." Starrk said, crossing his arms over his chest as he glowered at Shunsui. He looked a touch taken aback.

"I just want to learn how to etch glasses! I didn't say we would be making cocktails!" He protested, which Starrk greeted with massive skepticism.

"Oh please. I know you. All these pretty glasses sitting in a row… let's fill them up! By the way, how is your liver still functioning?" Starrk asked. He was honestly curious about that. It wasn't that Shunsui was falling down drunk all the time, but he was always drinking. He handled it well but he just never stopped. Starrk was no therapist but he had a good idea this problem might be linked to the incredible trauma the man had experienced as a teenager. Perhaps he was wrong, though. Shunsui looked a bit sheepish.

"Oh, Lupe-chan, you sound like you're channeling my Nanao-chan! And I visit the Fourth regularly for some special treatments." He admitted and Starrk grimaced slightly. That couldn't possibly be good. "Well, why don't you come over to my place tonight to show me how?" He said and Starrk blinked, his opinion of Shunsui's cleverness suddenly going up. There were at least three people listening in to the little confrontation. "Then I can do shots and cocktails to my heart's content!"

"Err… would that be appropriate, Kyoraku taichou?" Starrk said, feigning reluctance. This was an excuse for him to openly spend the night. Of course he would be too drunk to get back until morning. "You must know I am…" Starrk looked down, feeling a blush rising on his cheek. It wasn't really acting, talking about it was embarrassing. Shunsui laughed, waving away the concern.

"Nothing to worry about! I am confident in my sexuality." Shunsui said serenely and Starrk almost choked. That was certainly true. "All the ladies can tell you. So will you teach me the art of sugar animals on shot glasses?" His eyes were bright at the thought and Starrk thought that ruse or not, sugar animals would definitely be on the table. The thought was rather interesting.

"I would be honored, Kyoraku taichou." Starrk said sincerely and Shunsui grinned, pleased with his victory. "What time?"

"Hmm, six! You can stay for supper." He said cheerfully and Starrk smiled, pleased. He very rarely got to spend a full evening with them and it was always a wonderful occasion. "I'll be expecting you, Lupe-san."

"I'll be there, taichou." He promised and Shunsui smiled before taking his leave. Shunsui went towards the practice grounds, smiling as he walked. Tonight he would practice the art of sugar animals and Shunsui could teach him how to mix drinks as Juushiro made them all something sweet and delicious to soak up the alcohol. He could picture it in his mind already and frankly, Starrk couldn't wait.

It would be a wonderful night.


	8. Drunken Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: My cat is gone. I am very sad…

"I am soooo drunk." Starrk carefully tried to put his glass back on the table. It hit with a rather loud, wet thump. Shunsui grinned and he eyed his lover with disfavor. "And you're not. I hate you."

"Oh Lupe, I have so many decades of practice! How could you hope to match me?" Shunsui said as Juushiro brought out a plate of cookies. Starrk tried to focus on them but his eyes weren't cooperating. "Hmm. I think you do need to stop, though. Otherwise you'll pass out and miss the sex! That would be tragic."

"Particularly since I was thinking manwich." Starrk said, drunkenness removing what few inhibitions he had. "Two at the same time. I'm drunk enough to be down for that." He said before trying to pick up his glass again. He missed and knocked it off the table instead, sending pretty red liquor across the floor. "Damn!"

"No more of that. Have a cookie." Juushiro placed one in his hand and Starrk regarded it curiously for a moment. It looked like a pinwheel. Sampling it he found it was a date cookie. Really very delicious. Munching quietly, he closed his eyes for a moment. He would just rest them…

He woke up to a hand on his shoulder and blinked as he realized he'd fallen asleep. Or passed out. Lifting his head, he looked into warm brown eyes. Juushiro seemed amused by something. Him? Probably. Had he fallen unconscious in the act of eating a cookie? From the sweet flavor in his mouth, he thought he had.

"That can't possibly be good for my teeth." He muttered, surprising a laugh from his partner as Juushiro helped him up. Starrk staggered, accidentally putting his weight on the taichou.

"No, it can't." He agreed and Starrk smiled vaguely, wishing his eyes would focus properly. Even after a rest, he was still extremely drunk. "We're about to go to bed." Juushiro gently pushed a bit of stray hair away from his face and Starrk nuzzled his hand. Then he tried to nip. In his drunken mind, it suddenly seemed like the most natural thing in the world. "Hey!" Juushiro seemed started by the action.

"What?" Starrk said, curling his lip in a way any other hollow would recognize as both feral and lustful. Juushiro wasn't a hollow, though, and just put an arm around his waist.

"Come to bed." He said firmly and Starrk was more than willing to go. He had such wonderful ideas…

_Uhm, Starrk? You're drunk. Calm down._ Lilinette sounded alarmed but Starrk ignored her. He knew what he was doing. He was going to get laid just the way he wanted. Yes, he knew exactly what he wanted from his two mates.

When he was brought to the bed, Starrk let himself fall onto the soft blankets, pulling Juushiro down with him. He hooked his legs around the taichou, rubbing his body up against him as he gazed into warm brown eyes. Then he licked his lips, peeling them away from his teeth in a small snarl.

"Fuck me." He said, running his hands over that body through Juushiro's clothes. He heard the taichou's breath hitch, felt his desire rising. "Fuck me hard, make me scream." He demanded, then looked up as a hand touched his head.

"Lupe, you're very drunk." Shunsui sounded amused but also a touch alarmed. His smile was cautious. Starrk wasn't willing to tolerate that.

"Fuck… that! I am… Coyote Starrk!" He snarled as his zanpakuto made a sound of horror. Shunsui's eyes went wide as Juushiro gasped. "Shut up Lilinette… I am the Primera Espada! I can take… two cocks up my ass! Now fuck me like a hollow would! Make me bleed!" He wanted to see blood, wanted to smell it. Wanted to taste it and roll it on his tongue. "I need you." He moaned, letting all the wanton desire show. He needed them so badly. He rolled his head back, exposing his throat as he whined softly. He felt like a bitch in heat, he needed to feel them… Teeth suddenly went down on his shoulder and Starrk made a soft sound of pain and pleasure, reaching up to slide a hand through brown hair.

"Shunsui?!" Juushiro's voice seemed oddly distant. Starrk looked up at him, his eyes shaded with lust and saw the taichou was sitting back, looking at him with some shock. Shunsui lifted his head, licking his lips and Starrk dragged him in for a kiss. He could taste the blood in the shinigami's mouth and it inflamed him. Shunsui pulled back just a moment to speak.

"Why not give him what he wants, Juu? He might be drunk but he seems coherent enough." He said and Starrk growled before yanking him down again. "And – mph – enthusiastic…" Shunsui groaned as blunt nails went down his back, leaving pink marks. Not quite drawing blood, not yet. But that would come. "Get undressed, would you?" Shunsui was already naked. Starrk wasn't and that frustrated him. He reached for his clothing with unsteady hands and Shunsui helped him, groping him along the way. Starrk whined at him, a feral yet needy sound. "Kami. You sound like a dog…"

"Wolf." He whispered before kissing Shunsui. The bed shifted as Juushiro joined them and Shunsui lifted him up, pulling him onto his lap. Warm hands went over his shoulders and back, Juushiro's hands. But they were gentle, too gentle. "Claw me. Hurt me. I want it." He begged as he shifted himself in Shunsui's lap. "Fuck me…" He desired them both so much. He didn't care if it hurt, no, he wanted it to hurt. Following that desire he bit Shunsui, dragging his teeth through fragile skin. The shinigami man groaned and gripped his hair, yanking roughly on the strands. Starrk savored the mild pain as he was dragged away, licking his lips.

"Coyote Starrk." Shunsui's tone was wondering as he gazed into Starrk's face. Then a smile crossed the shinigami's face. "Tomorrow, we're going to have a chat about this. But tonight… tonight, we'll give you what you want. Right Juu?"

"…Yes." Starrk heard that soft voice behind him then arched as nails dug into his back. Teeth found the bend of his shoulder, sinking in and he moaned loudly at the oh so pleasant pain. "Kami, I want him now. Shunsui?"

"Right here." Starrk's lust and alcohol hazed eyes made out something. Yes… lube. They would need that. He could take one dry and sort of enjoy it, but never two. "Do you want to, Juu?"

"Yes." The lube was passed over and Starrk rubbed against Shunsui then whined as well lubed fingers began working on his entrance. Sweet kami it felt so good… so did the hard length he could feel poking against his stomach, the warm lips that caught his in another blood flavored kiss. Starrk felt like he might die from the anticipation as he trembled against Shunsui, caught between the two of them.

"You remembered to put up a privacy kido? I think he's going to be very loud." It suddenly annoyed Starrk that Shunsui sounded so normal. He should be writhing too! Intent on fixing that, he wrapped a hand around that erection and began teasing the firm flesh, making Kyoraku gasp. "Ah… kami…"

"Yes, I remembered." Juushiro said as Shunsui shoved up against him, reacting to that touch on his rock hard member. Starrk licked his lips in anticipation. Soon that would be inside him. Speaking of which…

"Give me some lube." He demanded as he held out a hand. Juushiro squeezed it out for him and he used it on Shunsui, smearing the sticky stuff onto his cock as the shinigami groaned. Starrk watched, rapt, as grey eyes half-closed with pleasure. "Oh kami, am I ready?" He probably wasn't but he didn't care too much. He wanted to feel them so desperately. There was a soft gasp behind him and Starrk shivered as another erection rubbed against him.

"I think so, if we take it slowly." Juushiro said and Starrk nodded as he moved, guiding Shunsui to his entrance. Then he reached further, finding Juushiro's cock and putting them together. He could do this, he knew how. Sinking onto the two of them he groaned, feeling the incredible sensation of being so completely filled. He also felt a great deal of pain but it was easily overwhelmed by the mind-numbing pleasure, merging and becoming part of it. It hurt yet felt so amazingly good…

"Oh kami you are so tight in there!" Shunsui gasped and Starrk looked into his face, seeing the fine beads of sweat on that warm, sun-kissed skin. He delicately licked them, savoring the salty taste on his tongue. Then teeth found his shoulder and Starrk cried out, his fingers digging into Kyoraku's shoulders as his two shinigami lovers began to take him in a slow, careful but ever so wonderful rhythm.

Starrk knew he was leaving marks on Shunsui, scratches that would be bright red tomorrow, but he didn't care. No, he did care… he wanted to leave those marks, wanted to state that this man was his. Bringing one hand to his mouth he sucked on his fingers, savoring the blood as Shunsui stared at him with wide eyed lust. Starrk glanced over his shoulder to see Juushiro. The shinigami behind him was losing himself to the sensations, his face flushed and his breathing coming heavily as he matched Shunsui's rhythm and dove into his body. Starrk whimpered as he was caught in the most pleasurable of torments. The incredible pressure against his prostate, the friction deep inside him that made him writhe with every thrust…

"Kami… kami…" Shunsui seemed to be praying and Starrk couldn't help but grin.

"I am your god now." He boasted, feeling strangely powerful. He was bringing them this pleasure. Yes, this was his doing. "Cum for me." He commanded before gripping the blankets, shoving his hips down just as the moved up. Juushiro gasped and Shunsui cursed, his voice suddenly breathless. "Yes, like that." Starrk moaned. He felt like all the blood in his body was going to his straining cock. He was going to cum any moment. Any moment…

Then Juushiro bit him again. The white haired taichou was surprisingly fierce and Starrk cried out as the coil in his belly snapped. His hands tore into the blankets, then found Shunsui's shoulders and dug in as his insides tightened unbearably around his two partners. Shunsui arched under him, his whole body going tense as a board as he made a hoarse sound. Juushiro's mouth left him as the shinigami behind him gave voice to his pleasure, his arms firmly around Starrk's chest as his body spent itself inside him. Starrk panted harshly, trying to get his body back under control. He was limp between them, feeling like a rag doll.

"Kami, that was so good. Was it good for you… Coyote?" Shunsui said, looking up at him with a tired, satisfied yet oddly watchful expression. Lupe curled his lip. No one called him Coyote.

"Starrk." He said, almost pouting. Lilinette was hissing at him but he was just too drunk to care. "He's dead. You killed him." Starrk said, and it didn't feel like he was lying. That had been a death blow. Only Aizen or Orihime could have saved him from his fate. "I am Lupe, and I am alive." He said just before he claimed Shunsui's lips in a passionate kiss. There was a short moment of resistance before his lover kissed him back.

"Oh, you are definitely alive." Juushiro said with a breathless laugh as he slowly pulled away. Starrk sighed, feeling mostly relieved. As wonderful as it felt to have the both of them inside, his body was complaining about it. That was hardly a natural occurrence. "Forget about it Shunsui. He's too drunk to make sense."

"But don't they say there's truth in wine? Hmm, I'm too tired though…" Shunsui yawned as Starrk flopped down beside him. The bed was filled with the scent of sweat and sex. It was so wonderfully comforting, he felt like he could stay here forever. There was more talking but Starrk was oblivious to it. His exhausted, inebriated mind was done.

Completely sated and comfortable, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Okay, Starrk. I know you're awake._ Starrk whimpered, wishing the voice would go away. He was trying to die at the moment. _Die later! You need to think about what to say to Kimono-chan._ Kimono-chan? Oh, Shunsui.

"What about him?" Starrk whispered almost inaudibly. Even that tiny vibration made him cringe.

_You really fucked up last night. You told him you're Coyote Starrk and now he's all suspicious! Prepare for major acting_!Starrk considered that, then considered the option of just telling Shunsui everything and begging for merciful death. It sounded like a very good idea at the moment – _No! Stop being a wuss Starrk! God, you need to stop letting Shunsui get you shitfaced drunk. You lose all your inhibitions then turn into a whiney mess the next day._

"Shut… up… Lilinette…" He growled before deciding to tackle a vital aspect of his existence… moving. His bladder was ridiculously full and if he didn't get up he was going to pee the bed. And it wasn't his bed. The bed was empty and he was clearly the last one to wake. "At least Juushiro can tell Rukia why I'm late…" And it could all be conveniently blamed on Shunsui. Really, how could a young shinigami refuse to drink with a taichou?

_You better start refusing or it's your own liver you'll need to be concerned about._ Lilinette groused and Starrk sighed, running a trembling hand through his hair. She had a point. Shunsui was a functioning alcoholic, he could handle this sort of thing. Shuffling away and wincing at the pain in his head, Starrk –

Got caught by a hand on the arm and found himself meeting intent grey eyes.

"So, Lupe. Or should I say Starrk? Did you sleep well?" Shunsui said and Starrk sighed to himself. He knew where this was going. But his body had urgent needs that simply couldn't wait.

"Shunsui, I have something very important to tell you." He said seriously and those grey eyes widened. "If you don't let go of me _right now_ I'm going to pee all over the carpet." Shunsui let go of his arm like he was red hot. "Thank you." He finished his short trip to the bathroom and took care of his urgent problem as Lilinette giggled madly in the back of his mind. He came back out, grabbing a robe on the way. He'd gone in naked. "Now, what was that about?" He ran his tongue over his teeth, grimacing. "And do we have any tea and aspirin? My mouth tastes like something died in it and my head is killing me." That was putting it mildly. This was a pretty bad handover.

"Right out here!" Juushiro's voice floated in from the kitchen and Starrk gratefully went as Shunsui watched him with both a bemused and intent air. "Would you like anything to eat?" He asked and Starrk's stomach lurched.

"Oh kami. No." He said weakly and Juushiro shook his head with a smile. Shunsui followed him, taking a seat.

"You know, you really should try to eat something. Eggs are good, I feel they help settle the stomach." Shunsui said and Starrk hesitated before nodding. His lover did have a great deal of experience in this area. "Now, Starrk, I think we need to talk." Shunsui said and Starrk growled at him.

"You know what I really hate? When you drop your lazy, sybaritic drunk act and get all dangerous and clever." He said as Shunsui gave him a half-smile. "And you know why? Because it means you don't trust me." That made Shunsui frown and look into his tea. It was nothing but the truth though. Shunsui wasn't really pretending to be a lazy drunk. He enjoyed being a lazy drunk… he was just so much more, beneath that. "Also, stop calling me that. I told you, he's dead." He said before sipping his tea.

"So you do remember." Shunsui said quietly as Juushiro brought them breakfast. Starrk glanced at him but the white haired taichou seemed far less concerned than Shunsui. Of course, they hadn't fought very much compared to what he and Shunsui had done.

"You asked about my scar." He said quietly, meeting Shunsui's eyes. "You should know what happened, you were there." He ran a finger over that spot, feeling the slight ridge even beneath his robes. "The look on your face, right before you cut me in half… you seemed regretful. Why?" It had been such a powerful moment in time. Starrk had known he was dead and he'd seen the same knowledge in Shunsui's regretful eyes, just before he'd dealt the blow. "Was it because I seemed so young?" He asked quietly and knew he'd hit the mark dead on as he saw a flash of pain cross Shunsui's face.

"I'm sorry." Shunsui said quietly before sipping his tea. "Yes, you did seem terribly young. I'm not even sure why I felt that way. You fought as well as any taichou. And yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was facing a child." He said softly before looking into his tea. "I did regret it. But you gave me no choice."

"…I know." He did know. He'd been defeated, laying in the rubble, before Lilinette had given him a pep talk and gotten him to try again. Why had she done that?

_Aizen's zanpakuto told me I had to. Also, she promised he'd save you if you were gonna die. And he did so, well, okay._ Lilinette said and Starrk nodded to himself. That made sense. Then he looked up from his tea at Shunsui.

"You're right. I gave you no choice." He said softly as the taichou across from him closed his eyes for a moment before nodding. "Please Shunsui, don't worry about it. I'm not holding a grudge and I hope you're not." To Starrk, that was the important point. It seemed like Shunsui in particular was holding the past against him, although he wasn't sure why. Shunsui looked a touch startled at the thought but then gave him a small smile.

"Oh Lupe, I'm not holding a grudge! I was afraid you might be." He said and Starrk blinked at the thought. That had been the last thing on his mind. "Or, well, you might have some strange idea of freeing Aizen."

"All I can remember of Aizen is playing chess with him." Starrk lied. Although it wasn't too much of a lie. That was the one thing he and his 'father' had shared. "There's something else though, something that troubles you both." He could feel the miasma of concern around Juushiro, in particular. Shunsui hesitated and it was the white haired taichou who answered.

"We just worry for you. If anyone found out who you used to be, there might be questions. And with everything else…" Juushiro let the statement trail off and Starrk nodded. He did understand that concern.

"The only ones who fought me closely were the two of you. Who else would recognize me?" He asked before smiling crookedly. "And I'm not so memorable as all that." His coloring was normal for a shinigami, nothing like Grimmjow's neon hair. Or even Halibel's incredible bust. "You shouldn't worry about it. I'll be fine."

"Mmm… yes, well, you won't be if you don't start eating. Take my word for it, the eggs will help." Shunsui urged him and Starrk dropped his gaze to his plate, swallowing a bit at the nausea. Then he gamely took a bite of egg. Shunsui was probably right and he definitely needed something. "Have you had any aspirin yet?"

"No, I couldn't find it." He hadn't wanted to spend too much time sorting through the medicine cabinet, either. Shunsui smiled and went to get him some pills while he and Juushiro ate quietly. "…I wish it could be like this every day." Waking up with his lovers, sharing a breakfast… if every day were like today, life would be perfect. Juushiro smiled sadly as he sipped his tea.

"So do I." He said and their eyes met for a moment. Starrk could see the sadness, the carefully hidden pain in the other man. Acting on impulse he reached out to take his hand, giving him a gentle squeeze. Juushiro seemed startled for a moment but then smiled at him. Starrk smiled back, then looked up as Shunsui came back with the pills. Swallowing them, he concentrated on enjoying the moment.

It didn't happen very often. He needed to savor it while he could.

* * *

Starrk sat on a bench and nursed his wounds as he waited for his turn in Juushiro's office.

Considering himself thoughtfully, he tried to tally up the damage. Skinned knuckles, bruises on his chest and belly, a rather painful gash, also on his belly – what had caused that? He really had no idea – and of course, the damage to his face. He had a black eye, a split lip and another ugly gash to his cheek. He hadn't gotten any medical treatment but this was all very minor. He would probably have the cut seen to, just to minimize scarring. Sometimes very minor wounds could leave marks, and it was on his face.

One of his erstwhile combatants stepped out of the office, giving him a look full of hatred before he hurried away. Starrk smiled to himself as he stood. He was sure that Ukitake had ripped a stripe off the man, in his own quiet way. Then the smile faded. The man wasn't a seated officer but he wasn't one of the new recruits to the Division, either. One of them had been involved and Juushiro had seen to them first.

Squaring his shoulders, Starrk went into the office. He felt a tingle of kido as he entered and knew that Juushiro had cast a silencing incantation. The white haired taichou looked up from his desk with a wan smile as Starrk closed the door.

"Reporting as ordered, taichou." He said respectfully and Juushiro's smile warmed. He gestured to the chair across from him and Starrk settled in, reaching up to gently rub his eye. It was really starting to sting. Juushiro poured him some tea and he accepted it.

"You don't have to be so formal, Lupe. I'm sure you noticed the kido I used." Juushiro said and Starrk nodded before sipping his tea. "This kind of attack should not happen." He said and Starrk shrugged.

"It was probably inevitable. And really, it could have been worse." He said lightly as Juushiro frowned at him. "No one drew a sword."

"No one would dare." Juushiro growled and Starrk understood why. This attack had happened in the Division's grounds. Starrk couldn't possibly have avoided it… his duties required him to come back and make reports. It was the one place he could be easily accosted, but it was also directly under the supervision of Ukitake and his officers. Beating him up in the Division grounds was already quite daring, no one would be willing to add live steel to that. "Can you describe your other attackers? I've tried to get their identities from the two we caught but…" Juushiro rubbed a hand over his face and Starrk smiled. It wasn't a cheerful smile, though.

"I can do better than that. I know two of them. Kuchiki Nakaru and Kyoraku Iso." He said frankly and Juushiro stared, surprised. "Iso was part of my graduating class. I'm not sure what his relationship to Shunsui is. Nakaru… he, ah, had words with me after the ball." Apparently his sister had been quite disappointed when her parents had vetoed him as a possible future husband. She'd been under the impression that he was a junior member of the Kyoraku family. "The rest, I don't know." They had been complete strangers to him. Juushiro grimaced.

"I'm fairly sure you just pinpointed the main instigators." He said and Starrk nodded. Two young nobles from exalted clans would likely not be following the others. "I'll speak to Kuchiki taichou. He should be able to take care of his clansman quietly." He said after a moment and Starrk understood. In some ways, nobles were above the law. For a taichou, disciplining a noble, particularly about something like this, might devolve into politics. But Byakuya speaking to an erring clan member would be business as usual. "I'll ask Shunsui about Iso. He should at least be able to tell me who he is. But he can't help us with his clan."

"Juushiro… what is Shunsui's position in his clan? If you don't mind me asking?" Starrk asked cautiously. The question might be offensive. Juushiro hesitated a moment before nodding with a sigh.

"I suppose you should know. Shunsui's position in the Kyoraku clan is rather strange." Juushiro poured them both some tea and Starrk sipped his, listening. "He's a taichou, highly competent and extremely intelligent, when he wants to be. His clan can see that. His grandmother, especially, thinks he could be the greatest clan head they've ever had." Juushiro looked into his tea, his expression pensive. "There are so many obligations inherent to being a clan head. Kuchiki taichou could tell you… most clan heads take on the duties gladly, for their families and for the power. Shunsui despises his family and the power means nothing to him. He'd do anything to be free of them, but they won't let him go. His grandmother knows he could be brilliant if he just tried, and she's head of the clan council."

"She doesn't know." Starrk mused and Juushiro nodded with a small sigh. "I wonder if it would make any difference." Even after all the centuries that had gone by, Shunsui hadn't fully recovered. The wounds ran deep. "How can they betroth him against his will though? I don't understand."

"Shunsui's father is technically the clan head. As both his father and the patriarch of the family, he would have the power to decree a marriage." Juushiro explained as Starrk listened. "However, his father is very ill. He's been bedridden for some time and he's confused in the mind. The council could remove him but he signs anything they give him, so essentially he's a figurehead while they rule the clan. They're the ones who keep trying to arrange a marriage and then they get his father to sign the decrees." Juushiro made a face. "I think they believe that if Shunsui finally got a wife he would settle down and become responsible."

"Mmm, right." Starrk shook his head at that. Shunsui wasn't the womanizer they thought and Juushiro had helped him as much as anyone humanly could. Juushiro sighed and changed the subject.

"Those names will help but can you describe the rest of the attackers?" He asked and Starrk nodded before giving a physical description of the last two. There had been six of them. Six on one, very sporting. But he'd given a very good accounting of himself before the alarm had gone out and several officers had come to break it up. "I'll look into it. Please be careful, Lupe." Juushiro said, concerned, and Starrk nodded.

"I'm going to a small party with Rukia tonight." She was introducing him to her friends, just as Ukitake had asked. Starrk had almost betrayed himself when he'd been introduced to Hinamori Momo. The worst part had been the fact that he'd been thinking she was very pretty before Rukia had said her name. Embarrassing didn't even begin to cover that but he'd hidden his reaction well. He had a feeling a few of them weren't keen on him, like Abarai Renji. But if the other man was willing to make an effort, Starrk would certainly meet him halfway. "I'll stay with them at all times." No one but an idiot would try to ambush him in the presence of a fukutaichou. Juushiro nodded, a bit relieved. There was something thoughtful in his expression, though. Starrk wondered what he was thinking.

"Well, I have duties and so do you. Is there anything else you can remember?" Juushiro asked and Starrk shook his head. That really was everything. Rising to his feet, he made his polite goodbye's before going to look for the Division medic. He really would rather not have a large scar on his cheek.

Perhaps it was vain, but he liked his face the way it was.


	9. Sex Causes Nausea

"Oh Lupe, you're so funny!" Momo said with a laugh after he finished a rather off-color but innocent story. Rangiku was laughing up a storm as Rukia smiled and Renji gave him a look that was almost a glower. Starrk really had no idea what his problem was, so he ignored it. Kira just looked quietly depressed as Shuhei admired Rangiku's heaving bosom. Starrk could appreciate that as well, although well-endowed redheads were not actually to his taste.

"I try." He said easily before looking at Rangiku. "Do you have any stories, lovely one?" He asked and she dimpled at him before telling them all a very interesting story about a man who'd tried to date her. It really was hilarious although probably rather cruel to the poor fellow in question. Fortunately, he wasn't there.

Starrk was having a great deal of fun with these people. The only one who didn't seem to like him was Renji, and he really didn't know what the problem was there. A personality conflict? His homosexuality? Jealousy, perhaps? Starrk could tell that as strong as Renji was, he was stronger in terms of pure reiatsu. That had to be irritating since he knew the other man already had a bankai. His power was taichou class, but if Starrk had a bankai he would be more.

_And you're getting really close to your bankai. It won't be long now._ Lilinette said and Starrk nodded to himself. He could feel the energy inside him, swelling and coming close to some kind of completion. There was a phrase, a word that was just out of reach. He knew when he found it, he would have his bankai.

"Would you like another glass, Lupe?" Momo asked him and he smiled warmly at her, feeling a small twist in his heart. How he wished he could take her in his arms and whisper the truth in her ear, ask her to make him cookies and show him the world like a mother should. He knew it was both stupid and futile. He had no real mother, no real father and he needed to deal with that. Still, he wanted a closeness from her.

"Please, that would be wonderful." He said and she smiled as she poured him another. They were drinking sangria and eating tapas at a local Spanish restaurant. Rangiku took a piece of some kind of crispy roll and ate it, making it a slow, sensual show. Starrk couldn't help but notice and someone else noticed him noticing.

"You're not really gay, are you?" Renji suddenly said, his glower intensifying. Starrk choked a little as Rukia scowled and hit her friend up the back of his head. "Ow! What?" He said, rubbing his hair and scowling.

"That was rude!" She scolded him as Renji looked away. "What's wrong with you, anyway? What does it matter if he's like that?" She asked as Shuhei suddenly looked uncomfortable and Kira looked into his drink. Starrk collected his wits before speaking.

"It's alright Rukia. And the truth is, I'm bisexual." He said to Renji who looked at him with a frown. "I incline more towards men, but I do appreciate women." His sexuality wasn't a simple thing. He had many, many interests and preferences. "Sadly, that information seems to have been lost among the rumors." He said with a laugh and that seemed to lighten the atmosphere a bit. Taking a bacon wrapped date, he ate it, appreciating the play of salt and fatty against the sweet.

"Lupe, I was wondering. Would you like to come to tea with me sometime?" Momo asked and Starrk's heart jumped at the thought. More time with his mother? That would be –

_Starrk. She doesn't know she's your mom. Remember that thing about leading girls on? Private time is a bad idea._ Lilinette warned and Starrk suddenly realized she was right. He should have just told them he was completely gay. Still… it was just tea. And he wanted to know his mother better. Smiling, he came to a quick decision.

"I would love it. Perhaps Rukia would like to come too?" He asked innocently, glancing towards her as he heard Lilinette sigh. He missed Renji stiffening just a touch. She smiled at them both cheerfully.

"I would love to!" She said before looking at her friend. "If you don't mind, Momo?" She asked and Hinamori shook her head. Starrk thought he saw just a trace of disappointment in her but if so, it vanished swiftly. She smiled at her friend. "Perhaps on Friday, after practice?"

"Certainly!" They quickly set the date and Starrk smiled as he tried a bit of calamari. A second set of plates came out and he noticed that Kira wasn't eating. He really did seem very depressed as he looked into his wine. He wasn't drinking much, either.

"Forgive me, are you well?" He asked quietly and Kira looked up from his wine. Starrk was struck by how lifeless he looked.

_Um… I do know what's wrong with him._ Lilinette sounded uncomfortable and Starrk sent her a questioning feeling. _Tell you later. It's not something you could know anyway._ Frowning at that, he turned his attention back to Kira as the other tried to smile. It was rather a farce.

"Just thinking." He said quietly before picking up a bit of cheese and nibbling on it. Then he took a sip of his wine. "This is very good."

"Yes, I like to nibble out the pieces of fruit." Starrk agreed, making a mental note to question Lilinette about this later. Kira managed a more genuine smile at that. "I'm told you do haiku?" He'd even read some of them and come away feeling mystified. Poetry was definitely not something he understood.

"Yes, I teach a class at the academy on it. I don't recall ever seeing you." He said softly and Starrk nodded.

"I was busy taking the calligraphy class. I have a talent for artwork and regrettably, the classes were scheduled for the same time." They were both optional so they had to fight for attendees. Kira nodded, a small flicker of amusement in those sad eyes.

"The calligraphy class is being taught by Iemura-san, no?" He asked and Starrk nodded. "How was it?"

"Not the best." He said honestly and that seemed to amuse Kira. "He's good at the calligraphy but not very good at teaching."

"He was whining at the meeting of the Shinigami Men's Association about that. He said there's almost no girls in his class." Kira said and Starrk nodded, unsurprised.

"He practically drove out the few he had. He has an extremely off putting air, when he sees an attractive woman." Starrk said and Kira's smile was suddenly very real as he sipped his sangria. "If someone came onto me like that I would probably run away, too."

"Yes. I would help him but my luck with women is very poor." Kira said before sampling a bit of the calamari. That made Lilinette giggle for some reason. They continued to make small talk and Starrk found that he was enjoying it. Prying Izuru out of his shell wasn't easy, but it seemed to be worth doing. "Have you considered joining the Shinigami Men's Association?" He asked and Starrk hesitated. He knew Ukitake was a member and Shunsui considered it to be an amusing but rather silly hobby.

"I did think of it, but I'm afraid they probably wouldn't want me." He said honestly. A social club would be fun, even if they did hold meetings in the men's urinals. That made Izuru look slightly depressed as he nodded.

"I don't know. I can ask Iba about it." He offered and Starrk shrugged before nodding with a small smile. He wasn't dying to join up, but it would be a nice way to innocently see more of Juushiro.

Eventually it was time to leave and they all went back to their Divisions. Starrk stayed with Rukia, vaguely aware of Renji's eyes on his back as they walked away. Was it jealousy? Did he have an interest in Rukia? From what he could detect she only regarded him as a friend. Starrk shook his head at himself. He just didn't know enough to speculate.

"So what exactly is wrong with Izuru-san?" Starrk said softly as he went to the baths. It was quite late and a good time for him to use them. There was a soft sigh from his zanpakuto.

_He and Gin were lovers._ She said plainly and Starrk almost tripped, his eyes widening. Lovers? Gin? _I know right? And from the way Aizen was grumbling he was really in love with the bastard._

"Wait, I'm confused. Why would Aizen care about that?" It didn't make much sense. Why would Aizen give a rat's ass about Kira's feelings? "And how do you know all this?" Why would he be discussing it with Lilinette? There was another sigh from his zanpakuto.

_Because of that little thing you had with Gin that one time._ She said and he blushed faintly as he began disrobing, putting his clothing away in a locker. He sealed that with another bit of kido. No one had ever tried it but if someone ruined his clothing while he was in the bath, he'd be walking back to his room in a towel. Not amusing. _Aizen_ _was worried that Gin was going to mess with you and started muttering about Kira. He seemed to think Gin should have killed him, or arranged to have him killed. You know, when he was still happy and thought he was loved._

"…Like he did to Momo." Starrk said quietly and felt Lilinette's agreement. "The logic of a psychopath."

_Yeah. I can see his point though._ She said and Starrk grimaced as he slid into the water. _It must be really hard on him. He can't even talk to anyone about it._

"Worse than Hinamori." She had plenty of support from the other shinigami around her. Everyone knew how cruelly she'd been hurt by her former taichou and the women, in particular, had to be up in arms on her behalf. "Although everyone must know that Kira was betrayed." He mused quietly. "But not how intimately… you're right, it must be very hard on him. I wonder if there's anything I could do?"

_You could try. Although how would you explain what you know?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk smiled as he savored the heat of the water, watched the steam rise up around him.

"I am amazingly perceptive." He said and Lilinette snorted. "It's not like he could imagine the truth."

_Got me there. I doubt he even got a look at you, back when you fought Shunsui. Hey, why don't you ask if he wants to spar? He's got a shikai, right?_ She said and Starrk hesitated. While it was a good idea it had a huge downside. He didn't like to use his shikai. His face and coloring might not be memorable but twin guns? How many shinigami had a shikai like that? If there was one part of him that was recognizable, it was Lilinette. _I hear what you're thinking and I totally agree, but you still need to practice with your shikai or you're gonna get rusty. That's not cool Starrk._

"…You're right." He said with a soft sigh. In Los Noches he'd practiced with resurrection all the time. He'd had no idea it was actually his shikai. Although it was slightly different. The wolves… how had he generated the wolves? They weren't part of his shikai.

_That was a kido variation and we can't do it anymore. Aizen gave me that ability with the hogyoku._ Lilinette said and Starrk nodded thoughtfully. That change would support his story about being a purified plus soul, anyway. Lies on top of lies… he felt guilty about it. At first he'd tricked Shunsui and Juushiro into believing he remembered nothing. Now he'd misdirected them again, pretending he was a purified soul. If they truth ever came out, would they be able to forgive him? _There's no reason it ever has to come out, Starrk. The only person who knows is in jail and he's not going to fink you out. What good would it do him?_

"A point." Starrk relaxed a little at the thought. She was right, Aizen would never mention him to anyone. If he cared at all about having a legacy, Starrk was all that was left. There wouldn't be grandchildren at this rate, but Aizen wouldn't know that. "You're right. I'll see if Kira wants to spar with me. And maybe some of the others. Rukia has a shikai." Renji had a bankai and that made Starrk wary of sparring with him. The man didn't like him. How much was he disliked? Enough for a training 'accident'? Starrk sighed to himself, wishing he didn't have to think of such things. It wasn't that he particularly thought Renji would be capable of cold blooded murder, it was just that he was paranoid about everyone.

Pulling himself out of the bath, Starrk dried himself off with a towel. Putting it in the appropriate basket, he went to get his clothes. Then he would go to bed.

Tomorrow would be another day.

* * *

"What in hell is wrong with me?" Starrk muttered as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. He'd thrown up this morning, again. He had absolutely no idea what was causing the violent, tearing nausea that assaulted him so early. Even the thought of food could trigger it. "It's like my hangover never entirely went away." If he had to pinpoint a date the problem had started, it had definitely been the manwich. Starrk flushed a little as he remembered. How could wonderful sex cause long term nausea though? Or even alcohol. It didn't make sense.

"Lupe-san, are you alright?" Rukia. Starrk lifted his head with a weak smile. He couldn't muster anything better at the moment. She regarded him with a small frown. "You've been missing breakfast." She said, concerned, and Starrk grimaced. Even the mention of food made his stomach feel uneasy.

"I haven't been feeling well in the mornings lately. Don't worry, I'll be fine." He tried to reassure her and failed miserably. She bit her lip before squaring her shoulders.

"Lupe, I know you look up to Kyoraku taichou." She said and Starrk blinked, wondering how they'd gotten from his problems to that. "But there are some things about him you should not emulate." He abruptly understood what she was getting at and his eyes widened.

"No! I haven't been drinking myself to sleep." He said hastily as she gave him a skeptical look. "The last time I touched alcohol was our little party. I swear, I haven't been drinking at all." He said sincerely and she looked at him intently for a moment before frowning.

"If that's true… have you been to the Fourth?" She asked and Starrk hesitated before shaking his head.

"I've been considering it. But it seems so minor. The nausea goes away in time for lunch, so I've been getting plenty of food." He said honestly and she looked at him thoughtfully before nodding.

"Well, if it gets worse make sure you go. It could be something serious." She said firmly and he nodded. She did have a point. Although he caught a strangely ambivalent feeling from Lilinette. He sent her a questioning feeling but got nothing in reply. So he disregarded it, turning his attention back onto Rukia.

"I will, Rukia-san." He said respectfully. They were on a first name basis, now, but he liked to use the honorifics. It made him seem a bit formal, perhaps, but that was better than disrespectful. "I'm going to be sparring with Izuru-san today. Perhaps he'll be able to recommend some teas for it." Kira was well known for having once been part of the Fourth. Maybe he would know something that could help him. Rukia smiled at that.

"That's a good idea. Good luck! His shikai is a bit tricky." She said with a smile and he wondered what it could be. Well, he would see it soon.

And he did. In the practice yard of the Third, he and Kira dueled back and forth a bit before they activated their shikai. Kira's blade changed slightly, becoming a rather odd shape. Starrk had absolutely no idea what it did, but his own shikai was rather obvious. Izuru's eyes widened as they saw the guns.

"That is a very difficult shikai for me." He noted and Starrk honestly wondered what he was talking about. "Although not as bad as Rangiku's." He mused and Starrk simply had to ask.

"What does your shikai do, exactly?" He said and Izuru smiled.

"That would be telling." He said before attacking. Starrk didn't counter, just dodged and began to use his guns in earnest. Their powers were both heavily sealed to make this practice safe, but any hits he landed would still sting. "But this is exactly why your shikai is frustrating…" He murmured and Starrk lifted an eyebrow.

"Well, in a real battle I'd continue frustrating you. But since this is practice… Twin Swords!" His shikai abruptly changed. Although instead of the blades of blue energy he'd had fighting Kyoraku, he was holding two simple swords with plain, leather bound hilts. Charging at Kira he caught his sword with one blade while –

"!" Starrk's breath whistled through his teeth as his left sword abruptly became heavier. He could still handle it but it was less than comfortable and he disengaged, leaping away. "That is nasty." He said severely and Kira simply looked at him with that depressed air of his. "Anyone with pure melee weapons must love you." He said before turning his blades back into guns. "And it sticks, too." He noted. His left gun was nearly unusable. Shoving it into his holster, he lifted his other weapon. "Wildfire." He said and Kira's eyes went wide as he suddenly had to dodge the powerful barrage. Starrk kept the gun moving, sweeping for him, and his opponent finally went down, smoking. Not that he was badly hurt… thanks to the limiters he'd be only a little scorched.

"You said… my shikai is nasty? That's horrible!" Kira said as he coughed. "How do you have so many variations?" He asked, a touch enviously and Starrk hesitated before shrugging.

"I don't know." He really didn't. Was it because of his powerful reiatsu?

_Yeah. It's not a hard and fast rule but in general, the more potential power you've got, the nastier the shikai. That's why Aizen's was such a bitch. Although this guy's is pretty good. Just, you know, kind of one dimensional._ She commented and Starrk nodded. _If you're rating shikai, I'd say that Aizen had a big solitaire diamond. You've got a cluster of star sapphires and this guy has a single, pretty nice ruby._

"Now you're just getting weird. They're shikai, not gemstones." He murmured to Lilinette before turning his attention back to Kira. "Shall we call that a draw?" Starrk asked as he put away his remaining gun, offering Kira a hand. He took it, pulling himself up.

"I think we can hardly call that a draw. In a real battle you would have killed me." He said, which was true. Starrk knew it was nothing to be ashamed of, though. He'd fought Kyoraku Shunsui almost to a standstill. How could Kira hope to stand against him? But of course, he didn't know about his past. Although…

"I happen to know that Kyoraku taichou can evade my Wildfire. So far, I haven't met anyone else who can." He said honestly and Izuru looked mildly impressed. "But he's the only taichou I've tried it on. Likely they all could evade it."

"Intriguing. Would you like some tea?" Kira asked as they both began leaving the practice grounds. There had been an audience, Starrk noticed absently. Then he remembered.

"Tea! Yes, but speaking of tea. Do you have anything that will help with nausea in the mornings?" He asked and Kira frowned. "I've been getting sick in the morning all the time lately, I can't figure out why."

"The drinking the night before." Izuru said, completely deadpan, and Starrk winced. Was he getting a reputation for that too? But he'd be in good company. Shunsui was hardly the only functioning alcoholic in the ranks.

"I haven't been drinking, that's the problem." He said and Kira looked at him thoughtfully. "I'm a bit hesitant to go to the Fourth for something so silly, though. I was hoping you could take a look at me." It was also far, far less likely that Izuru would notice anything peculiar about him than one of the trained healers at the Fourth. He'd discussed it more thoroughly with Lilinette and he was essentially a construct, similar to Kurotsuchi Nemu. He lacked her obvious artificial features – he could easily pass as a normal person – but a deep scan might reveal his nature. And such an odd complaint might lead the healers to just such a scan. Kira nodded.

"I can help see what is troubling you, Lupe-san." He said and Starrk smiled at him gratefully. "For tea, I have a mint tea that's often used for morning sickness. It should help." That made Starrk smile a bit. Morning sickness? Not something he had to worry about, but amusing. The tests, though, were inconclusive. "I can find nothing at all wrong with you except a slight buildup of reiatsu in your abdomen." Kira noted and Starrk glanced down at himself. He couldn't detect anything abnormal. "It's in rather an odd pattern but it does not appear to be harmful. Sometimes things like that happen, they usually iron themselves out in a few days."

"Hmm. My reiatsu may have tied itself in a knot?" Starrk hazarded and Kira shrugged slightly. "I'll see if it gets better. In the meantime, maybe the tea will help." Mint tea… even if it didn't help with his nausea, drinking it would be no trial. He loved the taste of mint. "Izuru-san… forgive me if this is too personal. But I couldn't help but notice you seem very sad." His friend – were they friends? – shook his head.

"It's nothing important, Lupe-san." He said quietly and Starrk tried to think how to bring it up. He was sure now that Kira needed help.

"I think it is. It's because of Gin, isn't it?" He said softly, delicately using his reiatsu sensing to check for any eavesdroppers. There was nothing. Kira just looked at him emptily. "He was your lover." That made the other man's eyes widen in shock and the hand holding his teacup suddenly trembled. Even if he hadn't known it was the truth, he would have seen it in the way Izuru's eyes misted over.

"H-How…" Kira took a deep breath before sipping his tea. "How did you know?" He asked and Starrk smiled, crookedly.

"I guessed." He said and Kira blinked. "Someone mentioned how loyal you were to him. And I… had a feeling you might be like me. And everyone knows how odd Gin was… it seemed a logical leap. I do that sometimes." He lied, pretending to be embarrassed. Well, not exactly pretending. The whole conversation was a touch embarrassing. Izuru swallowed before nodding, looking down into his tea.

"Please don't judge me too harshly. But you know what the worse part of this is?" He said quietly and Starrk shook his head. "It's that I would have gone with him. If he'd just said a word to me… if he'd told me what was happening… I would have followed him without a second thought. I wasn't loyal to the Gotei 13. I was loyal to him. And he left me behind. I still don't know why." He rubbed his eyes for a moment. The tears remained unshed, just a small gather of moisture. "And now he's dead and I'll never know."

"…" Starrk bowed his head for a moment. He wasn't going to tell Kira the truth… that Gin just hadn't cared about him in the slightest. He knew it was true though. He didn't need Lilinette to tell him. He'd slept with Ichimaru once and the man had been completely cheerful about it. If he'd regretted the loss of Izuru, there had been no sign. Instead, he reached across the table to touch Kira's hands. "I understand. Love is such a powerful thing. Don't be ashamed." If Shunsui and Juushiro asked him to jump off a metaphorical bridge with them, would he? Yes, without a second thought. Starrk knew that his loyalty to his two lovers was a greater force than the more diffuse loyalty he felt to the Gotei 13. It was certainly much greater than anything he'd felt for Aizen. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here." He offered. There wasn't much he could do, not really, but someone to talk to was valuable.

"Thank you." Kira said before hesitating. Starrk waited. He could tell there was something on his mind. "Forgive me, but do you… I mean, are you… in a relationship?" He managed to ask and Starrk blinked in surprise before smiling slightly. Quiet and depressive was definitely not his type, so he was glad he could say part of the truth.

"Yes, I am. I can't reveal his name, for obvious reasons. But I'm quite happy with him." Starrk said softly and Kira nodded, looking just a bit disappointed. Not much though. It wasn't like they knew each other well. "Well, I should probably get back to my unit. If you need anything, let me know."

"I will, thank you. And let me know if your nausea becomes worse." Izuru said and Starrk nodded before departing. He had a lot of work to do.

Life in the Divisions was never dull.


	10. The Living World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I made a mistake in the earlier chapter where Starrk saved Juushiro… I hadn't read up on the Thirteenth Division since the Bleach wiki makes my computer crash, so I didn't know his third seats were so funny. XD Let's say his Fourth seat died. And I also said Eighth instead of Thirteenth… sigh, mistakes, mistakes…

Starrk's hands shook as he sorted through the closet.

The day had been so wonderful. He'd gone to tea with Rukia and Momo. Renji had tagged along and Starrk was sure he was jealous, now. Was he interested in Rukia or Momo? That he wasn't sure of but he thought it was Rukia. He honestly wished he could reassure the man but he doubted Renji would believe a word of it.

As soon as he'd gone back to the Division he'd gone to his rooms to change into his shinigami uniform. And found this nightmare waiting for him.

_I'm so sorry Starrk._ Lilinette whispered and he shook his head, rubbing his eyes.

"It's… no one's fault but mine." He whispered, feeling more broken than he ever had. Even when Shunsui had been about to kill him, he hadn't felt this much pain. "It's a stupid thing to be upset about. Items can be replaced." Except they couldn't, sometimes. He found what he was looking for and held back a shameful sob. Lifting out the rich black fabric, now shredded and blotched with paint, he let the tears fall.

When he'd gotten to his rooms, Starrk had immediately seen that his kido lock had been broken. Inside he'd found that someone had torn his room apart. Everything he owned had been destroyed. His paints had been ruined, used to foul everything else. His entire collection of yukata, carefully garnered from second hand stores, was gone. His uniforms were gone. The kimono Shunsui had gifted him with, a thing that he'd truly treasured… that was gone. The pain of it was like a spike in his heart.

Rubbing his eyes, he tried to compose himself. It was only a thing. It could be replaced… although not with something that meant so much. Starrk knew that. Just looking at it had made him smile, reminded him of Shunsui. Even if he could somehow get one just like it, it would no longer hold that association. No, it would remind him of this ruined room and the hatred someone harbored for him. Managing to place a false surface of calm over his roiling emotions, Starrk gently put back the ruined kimono before leaving the room. There was something he needed to do.

"Lupe-san, why aren't you in uniform?" That was one of the seated officers, Ukitake's sixth seat. Starrk paused before giving the man a formal bow.

"I apologize most humbly, Kajomaru-san. I have suffered a misfortune. Is Rukia-fukutaichou still within the Division?" He asked and the man looked a touch startled by the formality.

"Yes, she is. Is something wrong?" He asked and Starrk could sense the genuine concern in him. It made him want to break down and tell the man what had happened, but he needed to keep himself together. Rukia was really the correct person to report this to.

"Yes, something is wrong. I must report." He said quietly before continuing his search. Kajomaru trailed behind him but Starrk hardly noticed. He needed to make his report. It didn't take him too long to find Rukia, once he managed to get his reiatsu sensing into gear. Her power was quite strong. Of course, he could have reported this directly to Ukitake. But Starrk honestly didn't think he could look at Juushiro now without breaking down.

"Lupe, what's wrong?" Rukia said instantly as she saw his face, her violet eyes wide. Renji was with her again – didn't he have work at his own Division? – but for once there was little hostility about him. He mostly looked taken aback, almost fearful. Starrk wondered what his own expression was like. He thought he was holding everything in fairly well… but his anguish must be showing, somehow. He bowed to her, managing to hold himself together with formality. A strange method of coping, but it was working.

"Rukia-fukutaichou, please, I must report a criminal act." Destroying another shinigami's property this way carried heavy penalties. "My room is…" He stopped, struggling with his own feelings for a moment. Taking a deep breath, Starrk continued. "When I arrived at the Division I went to change my clothes and found that my kido lock had been broken. My room has been destroyed. I am afraid I will need new uniforms." He would need those rather urgently. He could do his duties in a yukata but it was not very professional. Rukia's eyes widened.

"Oh my kami. Lupe, may I see?" She asked and he nodded before turning to take them to his room. The sixth seat followed, he noticed. But this was undoubtedly quite interesting.

"Holy crap." Renji muttered as he saw the devastation. Starrk was rather glad that he could eliminate the redhead as a potential suspect. Renji had been with him at the tea house, there was no way he could possibly have done this. "Who would do something like this?"

"Someone who hates me for being what I am." Starrk said quietly before pointing at one of the walls. There were filthy words written there, in his own paints. He didn't want to read them, his eyes just skating over the colored patterns. There was a soft gasp, but not from Rukia. She took a deep breath, gathering herself.

"Kajomaru-san, please take word of this to Ukitake taichou immediately." She said crisply and he nodded before leaving the room. "Lupe-san, I will assign you a new room and see what uniforms we have for you. Come." She commanded and Renji trailed behind them. Not really being useful, just too curious to leave. Although he did have some useful input.

"How will you stop it from happening again?" He asked and Starrk felt a moment of despair. How would he stop this from happening again? But there must be better kido locks.

"I will see about learning a better kido to lock my door." He said as calmly as he could. "That was the only such spell I knew, but there must be stronger ones." There had to be more powerful seals that he could use. Renji nodded, looking subdued. His new room was pretty much identical to the old one. He had no belongings to put away so he merely noted the number before going with Rukia to get new uniforms. Kajomaru found them as they were picking out a few that would fit, until he could have new ones tailored.

"Ukitake taichou would like to speak to you, Lupe-san." He said with a small bow and Starrk nodded, unsurprised. Of course Juushiro would want to see him. He knew he would break down, he wouldn't be able to help it, but now that things had been taken care of it might be a good time for that.

"I will go immediately." It was better not to keep a taichou waiting and he had his new uniforms. Hesitating a moment, he bundled them up, along with his yukata. He would carry them with him for now. Perhaps Juushiro would have a good kido lock to teach him.

Starrk barely managed to maintain his composure as he saw Ukitake looking at him, those warm brown eyes filled with concern for him. Carefully shutting the door, he tried to smile for his lover and knew it must look terrible from the alarm on his face.

"Kami. Lupe, please, have some tea." He said softly before gripping his arm. Starrk swallowed and nodded as he was guided to a seat. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. It was just things." He said, his voice husky. It was a lie and they both knew it was a lie. Juushiro poured him some tea and Starrk tried to drink, hoping it would calm him. It was a mixed success at best. "It will be some time before I can replace it." His paints had been expensive. Perhaps he would just forget about them, work with pencils and paper for a while. If anything happened to that it would be cheap to replace.

"Lupe." He stiffened as Juushiro suddenly moved, then relaxed as warm arms went around him. "You're holding everything in. Stop it. You can let go." He said softly and Starrk abruptly let go. He allowed himself to finally feel his pain, release it in quiet sobs and hot tears. It hurt. As much as he might deny it, it really, truly hurt. The warm arms around him, Juushiro's soft voice whispering comforting words, encouraged him to get the pain out.

It took a while for Starrk to wear himself out and when he did, he could tell that Juushiro's clothing was wet with his tears. They just stayed together for a moment, Juushiro holding and rocking him. Starrk wasn't too concerned about anyone seeing. No, this was something Ukitake had likely done for many of his soldiers, when they suffered something terrible. Finally steadying himself, Starrk let go and pulled away with a wan smile.

"Thank you, that helps." It really did. He felt tired and empty now, but the pain was mostly gone, worn out in that spat of crying. "It was just… unexpected." Very unexpected. Honestly, he would have preferred a fist in the face. Juushiro smiled at him reassuringly. "Do you know a better kido lock spell? I need to learn." He didn't want this to happen again.

"Yes, I'll teach you." At a better time, that might have led to something intimate. But right now, Starrk was too engaged in his own pain to even consider it. And this wasn't a good time or place, anyway. Juushiro patiently began to tutor him on the kido and Starrk soon mastered it. This was a far more potent sealing spell and hopefully, it would be enough.

He did not want this to happen again.

* * *

"Oh Lupe, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss." Shunsui said softly and Starrk smiled at him. It wasn't a very good smile but it was the best he had.

"Most of it, I don't really mind." He said as he sampled a bit of the food. Word had gotten around quickly about what had happened to him and Shunsui had taken the opportunity to send him a hell butterfly, inviting him to supper. Starrk wasn't sure how wise it was but he wasn't going to turn it down. He needed the support. "The one thing I'll miss is the kimono you gave me." That was still the thing that pained him the most. "Not for the kimono itself, I hardly ever wore it, but for the memories it held." He said and Juushiro nodded sympathetically. Shunsui looked a touch surprised.

"You enjoyed the ball that much?" He asked wonderingly and Starrk laughed before shaking his head.

"No, not really. It just made me think of you, and how you trusted me to help you." He said and Shunsui smiled, his eyes softening. "But I still have that, and we can make new memories." He didn't need the kimono to remember. It had been nice, but he didn't need it and would not continue to suffer over the loss.

"Speaking of which. I was wondering if you wanted to be the innocent young recruit tonight?" Juushiro asked, a touch diffidently. Starrk smiled at the thought.

"And we even have the uniform! What a wonderful idea." Shunsui said admiringly and Starrk blushed. He'd left one of his uniforms here a long time ago, before the ball in fact. He'd kept forgetting to take it back and no one had noticed the lack of one uniform when he'd graduated. "Or he could be the god of strawberry shortcakes." Shunsui suggested and they both laughed.

"We don't have strawberries. And I don't want him losing one up my arse." Juushiro said merrily as Starrk went to change into the uniform. It still fit him quite well, but it wasn't like his body had changed much. He'd been toned as the Primera and he was toned now.

"You summoned me, Ukitake taichou?" Starrk said in a tone that managed to be innocent and sexually charged at the same time. "Kyoraku taichou, I wasn't expecting you." He bowed, pretending to have just entered their office.

"Weren't you?" Shunsui looked him over with a roguish smile. "Well, we were expecting you. Perhaps we could teach you something, hmm?" He said teasingly and Starrk smiled before turning his attention on Juushiro. He usually took less of an active role than Shunsui… but perhaps, not tonight.

"Perhaps, but I believe you were the one who summoned me, Ukitake taichou." Starrk said and Juushiro took the hint, taking him in his arms. The kiss that followed was sweet and loving and Starrk played the virgin very well, letting his lover take the lead.

"Let's take this to my office, then." Juushiro murmured and Starrk shivered a little at the thought. There was a desk in the bedroom, a perfect place for this play acting. Letting the white haired taichou lead him by the hand, he smiled at the grin on Shunsui's face. He loved to participate but he would certainly enjoy watching.

This was going to be a very good night.

* * *

Starrk watched the progress of the argument in front of him with absolute fascination.

He'd never imagined that two people could argue so much about who deserved the privilege of delivering a tray of cookies and a small cup of milk. Apparently, the milk was the vehicle for a medicinal tonic. Starrk was a bit uncertain about why milk would be good for that, but he would take it on faith that the healers knew what they were doing.

Of course, it would help if Ukitake actually got it. Deciding that he would take matters into his own hands, Starrk muffled his reiatsu and moved with well-practiced ease. He picked up the tray as Ukitake's third seats continued to fight. Now they were dredging up incidents from the past that Starrk had no knowledge of and less curiosity about. Taking advantage of the distraction he slipped past, going to Juushiro's office and knocking on the door.

"Come in." Starrk opened the door. Juushiro was at his desk, working on some paperwork. He looked up and his eyes widened a touch in surprise as he beheld his lover. "Lupe? Oh, thank you!" He said with a slightly puzzled air. "I would have thought Kiyone or Sentaro would have brought me that." Juushiro said and Starrk laughed softly as he set it on the table.

"I thought you wouldn't want to wait for the next ice age to get it." He said cheerfully and Juushiro smiled, amused. No doubt he knew all about his warring third seats. "Besides, I'm the one who loves you best." He murmured, looking at Ukitake through lowered eyelashes. He blushed slightly before taking a sip of his milk. "But I had best be going." Hopefully it wouldn't take them long to notice the missing cookies and milk. If it did, well, he was speechless. Juushiro smiled warmly.

"Before Kiyone and Sentaro can see you." He said, very accurately. Starrk laughed before nodding. "I'll cover for you." Starrk bowed slightly before slipping out. He heard the fighting suddenly cease before Kiyone's voice rose up.

"Oh no! Someone stole Ukitake taichou's cookies! What will we do now?!"

"I… don't know… bake some for him…?" Starrk couldn't help but snort as he continued walking. Had he started an epic quest to procure more cookies and milk? He only hoped Juushiro didn't have to eat all of them. Maybe he would take them home for Shunsui?

A spring in his step, he went to see Rukia. Apparently, he was being assigned to a new duty. Right now he was running patrols in the Rukongai, keeping the hollows there under control. His success had been noticed and he was being assigned to something more difficult.

"Lupe-san!" Rukia said warmly as she saw him. Starrk knew that Renji would be quietly fuming if he saw it. He was sure now that the redhead was jealous of their camaraderie. He and Rukia were getting along very well and truth be told, she was very close to his type, physically. It was lucky for Renji that his heart was already elsewhere. Starrk suspected that Rukia had no idea her childhood friend was holding a candle for her. "Please come in." She invited him into the meeting room. "Have you ever been to Karakura town?"

"Uh…" Technically the answer would be no. He'd been to false Karakura town, which had occupied the same space but been complete fakery. How had they made so many false buildings? God only knew. "No, I haven't." Starrk said honestly. "I haven't visited the Living World much at all." So far his duties had been entirely in the realm of Soul Society. He'd seen the Living World only in a few academy field trips. Rukia smiled, pleased with his answer.

"Then it's time you did! I'm sure you've heard of Kurosaki Ichigo. Soon, he's going to be going to University. That's a centre for advanced human learning." She translated the term, which was quite helpful really. Starrk had no clue. "All of his friends will be leaving, in fact. Karakura town has only a small community college. Frankly, the current shinigami there has been letting the ryoka do his job for him." She sounded faintly exasperated and Starrk nodded his understanding. "That is simply not acceptable now. Karakura town is a spiritual centre. It's not the only one in the Living World, but it is the most powerful. Will you take over as the shinigami assigned to Karakura town, Lupe?"

"Of course, Rukia-san." He said sincerely. Being entrusted with this much responsibility, for such a new member of the Division, was a great honor. Although it did pose some difficulties. "May I ask some questions?" He asked and she nodded. "How often can I return to Soul Society?"

"That partly depends on how well you do your duties. There is a quota of hollows you must meet every week although more is preferable." From her tone, Starrk was willing to bet the current shinigami was doing the bare minimum. "It's really very similar to your current duties. Just more independent. You can return to Soul Society every day, if you choose, or you can stay in the Living World. Staying there is more efficient."

"Hmm." Of course, where would he stay? Starrk thought he could do a very good job as a street person. Lilinette would be able to guide him. "I'm sure I will be able to more than meet my quota." That, he was absolutely certain of. When it came to hollows he was a bloodhound. Although, perhaps he could finally try the other tactic he'd had in mind. That would be fun.

_I think you're a dumbass but if you're going to do something really stupid, that's a good place._ Lilinette said and he smiled to himself.

"Excellent! Your new assignment will begin next week." Rukia said happily and Starrk nodded. He was definitely looking forward to it now. It might cut into the times he could visit Juushiro and Shunsui, but maybe not too. He was sure he could be very efficient.

"I will get ready immediately." He said, coming to his feet. He would have to ask around and see what he would need to survive in the Living World. Would he need a gigai if he didn't plan to interact?

It would be quite interesting.

* * *

_Well, your career as a street person starts today._

"Hush, you." Starrk muttered as he began setting up his tent. It was a spiritual thing and would be completely invisible to the majority of the town. Hopefully one of the spiritual minority wouldn't call the police to report the squatter in the park. If they did, the police officers would be annoyed. "Camp stove… food… sake – wait, what?" Starrk blinked at the bottle in his bags. He was absolutely certain he hadn't packed that. And there was a note wrapped around it? Unrolling the paper, he smiled as he read the message.

_To keep you warm until you see me again._ It was unsigned but Starrk didn't need to be told who had slipped it into his bags. Or the bundle of sugar cookies. To his amusement, he recognized them as from the tremendous batch that Kiyone and Sentaro had baked. They had gotten into a fight about who could bake better and it had turned into two batches, not just one, as they struggled to outdo each other. No one could eat all of that so plates had been put out for the entire Division. Clearly, Juushiro had saved some for him, likely freezing them.

_Okay, I have to admit it, those guys are keepers._ Lilinette said and Starrk chuckled as he put the bag away.

With his camp fully set up it was time to begin his duties. He didn't want to try his little gambit in the park, though. Or rather, not this park. His campsite might be ruined. No, he needed to find another spot for this. Although…

"Oh blerg." As he walked through the streets of Karakura town, Starrk had to pass by several hot dog stands. It was lunch time, so it was fully understandable that the food trucks would be out. However… "Kami, what's wrong with me?" He moaned as he struggled to control his nausea. His lunch, which had been salad with a bit of fried calamari, was threatening to leave him. "I thought this was going away!" Kira's mind tea had been working wonders. "Maybe I should go to the Fourth…"

_No, you shouldn't._ Lilinette sounded very unhappy and Starrk blinked. _There's something really weird going on, Starrk, and it feels like… I don't know. Something you were designed to do._

"…What does that mean?" It sounded alarming. What could Aizen have put into him that created random bouts of nausea? Lilinette made a frustrated sound.

_It just means it doesn't feel wrong, okay? You still feel perfectly healthy to me even if there's something weird going on in your belly. I don't think you can take this to the Fourth without getting into trouble._ She said and Starrk sighed, glancing down. It was impossible to read the patterns of his own reiatsu so he had no idea if that 'pattern' Kira had noticed was still there. _I don't know but I bet it is. I can't read your reiatsu like that either, I see things from the inside._

"Well, I suppose I will have to endure." It was more of a nuisance than anything. Then he caught the whiff of something really bad and abruptly lost it. Starrk barely made it to an alley before the contents of his stomach came back to haunt him. It didn't taste nearly as good coming up as it had going down.

"Um, are you okay?" That voice was a surprise and he looked up to see a boy in a school uniform staring at him. Rukia had warned him that many, many people here would be able to see him. It seemed he had just met his first.

"I'm fine." He said before reaching into his robes for his water bottle. A quick rinse of his mouth and he was feeling better. "I am Lupe Ruiz y Mendoza." He introduced himself. "Lupe is my first name." Just so the child would know he didn't follow the usual Japanese naming conventions. "May I ask your name?" It would be nice to know. The boy looked dubiously at him.

"Asano Keigo. Are you sure you're alright? You look awfully pale." He said and Starrk tucked away his water bottle with a small smile. "And what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking? You feel awfully strong." That made him blink slightly. But then, he wasn't hiding his strength at the moment. Most basic hollows would take one whiff of him like this and run away. His unbridled reiatsu spelled a quick trip to Soul Society. This boy seemed a bit alarmed by him, though.

"I'm taking over as the shinigami assigned to Karakura town." He said, which seemed to ease the child's mind considerably. The boy perked up before chatting happily.

"Oh, you won't have much to do! Ichigo takes care of everything!" He said and Starrk gave an amused sigh. "Um?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo is going to be leaving for school in Tokyo soon. That's why I'm taking over, to give Karakura town the coverage it deserves." Starrk smiled at the boy, who suddenly looked thoughtful. "I am looking forward to working with him as long as he's here, though." He was actually quite interested in meeting the substitute Soul Reaper. He'd defeated Aizen. That was an incredible achievement and it made Starrk quite curious. How had he managed it?

"Oh, that makes sense! He's at school now but I'm sure you'll see him soon. Oh, I'm late!" The boy suddenly took off running and Starrk watched him go, bemused. Then he winced as his belly twinged. Rubbing himself through his robes, he went to find a park.

It was time to put his plan into effect.


	11. Making New Friends

"Ha!" Starrk grinned as he slashed through another hollow, causing it to vanish into black dust.

_You've already tripled your quota and it's only been two days. You might want to slow down._ Lilinette advised and Starrk shook his head. He was frankly enjoying himself. _Yeah, I know you are. But I still think this is going to bite you in the ass somehow._

"Perhaps." She actually had a relatively good point and he knew it. He could think of a few ways, offhand, that this could cause him trouble. The big one was, of course, the nature of the bait he was using to bring hollows in. He would never have dared do it in Soul Society. Here in Karakura town there were fewer prying senses to detect his baffling reiatsu transformation.

Aizen had used his shikai to trick Starrk into believing he was a hollow. In the process, he had accidentally taught his son how to alter his reiatsu so it was strangely hollow-like. Without the masking of Aizen's shikai it was clearly a strange, mutated version, but basic hollows weren't that bright. Just that wouldn't have brought them close to him, though. However, Starrk also knew another trick. He'd infused his reiatsu with a libidinous quality. To powerful hollows, that was part and parcel of any sexual come on. Basic hollows couldn't do it and the scent of it drew them in, bringing them to where their more powerful cousin could feast. Not a trick most powerful hollows ever used, since basic hollows were nearly worthless in terms of power. But it was working extremely well for Starrk.

_Yeah, a bit too well. What happens if you clear this whole place out and can't make your quota next week?_ Lilinette said and Starrk paused. That had occurred to him as a possible problem.

"You might be right. I'll take a break." He said before decisively pulling in his lure. His reiatsu went back to being pure shinigami, which was something of a relief. The transformation he'd been doing had been mildly uncomfortable. Had it felt like that when he was in Los Noches? Maybe that also helped to explain why he'd slept so much.

He was about to leave the park when something completely unexpected happened. A strange, half-hollow reiatsu touched his own and Starrk blinked as he realized it felt oddly familiar. Where had he…? Then a young man suddenly appeared in front of him and his eyes widened in shock as he recognized the orange hair. Briefly, his mind flashed back in time.

_Tired, unhappy, wishing he wasn't here at all… but Aizen ordered and what Aizen wanted, Aizen got. Starrk was determined to get this done and over with as quickly as possible. He didn't know who the intruders were and didn't care. He didn't give a damn about anything at the moment. The final battle was almost here and to him, all it meant_ was _that he'd been pried out of his comfortable nest._

" _Sorry about this." He apologized as he gently set a hand on the girl's shoulder. What was her name again? Orihime Inoue, yes, that was it. "It annoys me that I have to be doing this." Holding the girl hostage this way… it was a reprehensible tactic. Looking up from her he met shocked brown eyes. Then he adjusted his grip. "I'm going to borrow her." His sonido was second to none and these two fighters had both exhausted themselves on other targets._

_He was away with the girl before the blows landed._

Then his mind came back to the present and Starrk could see the horrified realization on the other man's face. This was quite unlike his meeting with Shunsui. With Kyoraku, Starrk had been expecting the meeting. Dreading it, yes, but he'd been mentally preparing for it. This was completely different. He'd been caught completely cold by someone he'd almost forgotten and Starrk followed his first instinct.

He ran away. Like most first instincts, it was open to endless recriminations later. But right now he simply acted and did his utmost to lose the other man. It was surprisingly easy. Kurosaki Ichigo might be the savior of Karakura town and hollow hunter without peer, but he clearly hadn't been trained in the same school of stealth that Starrk had been. Pausing in an alleyway, he peered out before biting his lip.

_Smooth Starrk, really smooth._ Lilinette commented and Starrk snarled.

"Shut up!" He knew she was right though. His reaction had practically screamed 'guilty conscience'. There would be no way to convince Ichigo that he was an innocent soul now. "Great, just great." Starrk muttered to himself. What was he to do? Perhaps he could –

"Hi there!" That hail almost made him jump out of his uniform. Turning around he tried to calm his beating heart as he looked into the face of the boy he'd met earlier. Keigo, yes. And with him was another terribly familiar face. But to his sharp relief, Orihime Inoue only smiled at him with a faintly puzzled air. "Lupe! Hi! Have you met Ichigo yet? This is Inoue!" Keigo said cheerfully and Starrk was rather grateful to the young man for distracting him from his woes.

"Ah, not exactly." Did that even count as a meeting? They certainly hadn't spoken much. He bowed to Inoue, who pinked a little at the gesture. "I am pleased to meet you, Inoue-san." He said. Keigo laughed.

"You don't have to be so formal! So what are you doing here?" He asked as Starrk glanced back out the alleyway. That half-hollow reiatsu was moving around… and it felt denser? He wasn't sure what that meant. "Hey, you know, if you're not feeling well Orihime is great at healing things."

"Um?" That actually interested him and he remembered. Part of the reason Aizen had wanted Inoue had been her incredible healing ability. Although technically, it wasn't healing at all… it was a rejection of changes in an object. Theoretically she could have used that rejection ability to, oh, put together a broken plate. There would really be no difference. "That's an interesting idea." He said before frowning. He'd just lost Ichigo to his senses and while his own reiatsu was under lockdown, he didn't like it. Perhaps he should get moving… but how to get rid of these two?

"Not feeling well? What's wrong, Lupe-san?" Inoue asked and he hesitated. That was a question he would like an answer to.

"I'm not entirely certain. I feel nauseated in the mornings especially but random things can also trigger it." He said honestly. "Kira said I have a reiatsu pattern in my abdomen. Perhaps you could take a look?" He really would like that. And it almost got his mind off Kurosaki Ichigo. Orihime smiled cheerfully before calling on her hairpins. A golden shield touched him and Starrk stood still, experiencing it curiously. This was the first time he'd been touched by her healing light.

"That's strange… you don't seem to be unwell, Lupe-san. But there's a very powerful buildup of reiatsu." She said uncertainly. "If I didn't know better I would think it's alive. Some kind of growth? Do you want me to reject it?" A growth? That didn't sound good. Starrk frowned for a moment before nodding.

"If you could." He said and she nodded before concentrating.

And then the most agonizing pain he'd ever imagined in his life hit him. Starrk doubled over with a scream as it felt like his abdomen was being ripped apart. It was more painful even than Shunsui's death blow had been, worse than that little trick Halibel had played on him… it felt like death and even when Orihime's shield shattered he was unable to move, shuddering and retching with reaction.

"Oh Lupe I'm so sorry I don't know what went wrong!" Inoue was saying frantically as Keigo tried to help. Starrk gasped, shaking as the teen put an arm around his shoulders.

_Holy shit Starrk! Don't do that again, that almost killed you!_ Lilinette sounded terrified and Starrk blinked. _It almost tore a hole in your reiatsu! You would've bled to death from it!_ Starrk swallowed at that. It was very difficult to tear a hole in someone's reiatsu. Hollows generally didn't bother… it was easier to just kill someone and take everything. But when it was done, it was almost always a fatal wound.

"I – I don't think we should try that again." Although he had no idea why it had gone so wrong. Orihime's power was healing. How could it be so hurtful to him? Something about restoring him to his prior state… his body had rejected the attempt? Orihime nodded, looking terribly worried. Starrk let them help him up –

"YOU!" He jerked as a black blade went through the air he'd just been occupying. A hand knocked Orihime back and she landed on her butt with a cry. "Orihime, get away from him! Keigo, run!" Ichigo ordered as Starrk fumbled out his zanpakuto. To his horror, he realized that Ichigo was already in bankai. And he honestly didn't dare use his shikai. It was a wonderful power, true, but not friendly to buildings in the least bit. No one had forbidden him to use it but Starrk wasn't stupid. Some property damage was inevitable but…

For completely sealed against a bankai, he lasted a surprisingly long time. It was a good minute before Ichigo pinned him against a wall, his sword under his chin, forcing his head up. Starrk grimaced, his hands flat against the wall. He'd lost his weapon in the conflict. Inoue and Keigo were both watching, wide eyed.

"Ichigo, what are you doing? He's the shinigami assigned to Karakura town!" Keigo said as Orihime spoke.

"Kurosaki-kun, what are you doing? Please let him go!" Orihime appealed to her friend and Ichigo spoke sharply, not taking his eyes off the man under his weapon.

"Don't you recognize him Inoue? He's the bastard who kidnapped you from me and Kenpachi!" Ichigo snarled and Starrk gasped softly as his head was pushed back further as Ichigo raised his blade. He could feel a thin trickle of blood sliding down his neck. There was a soft gasp and he turned his eyes just enough to see Orihime putting her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide with realization.

"Coyote Starrk." She whispered. Starrk wasn't too surprised. He hadn't talked to her much but they had been introduced and given the stress of the situation it was no wonder she would remember him. "But… h-how…" Keigo was just confused, looking between them. Starrk spoke through gritted teeth.

"I am a shinigami." He said before attempting to stand on tip toes. Anything to get the pressure off his neck. It didn't help, Ichigo just pressed the blade against him more firmly.

"Bullshit! Tel me what you're doing here." Ichigo demanded and Starrk groaned to himself. This was becoming extremely uncomfortable.

"What happens when a hollow's soul is purified by a shinigami's blade?" He asked and Ichigo looked rather confused as he responded.

"It goes to Soul Soc – oh." Brown eyes went wide as Ichigo realized the implications of what he'd just said. Although Starrk was aware of a slight problem… Ichigo had never really seen him as an arrancar. He'd seen him as he was, unaffected by Aizen's shikai. Hopefully, he wouldn't compare notes with Orihime. "Um." Ichigo hesitated as he realized he likely was holding a genuine shinigami against a wall, sword at his throat. He carefully drew back and Starrk sighed in relief as he was able to drop back from his toes. Reaching up he shakily wiped off a bit of blood. "You… your soul was purified?"

"Yes. Kyoraku Shunsui defeated me on the battlefield." Starrk said briefly, glancing at the other two. They were looking at him wide-eyed. Keigo was figuring out what was happening just from the conversation. Then he looked back at Ichigo. "Please, could you not spread this around? It might be difficult for me." That was an understatement. Ichigo frowned at him.

"No one knows?" His tone was dubious. Worried about his intentions, no doubt. Starrk shook his head.

"Kyoraku taichou and Ukitake taichou both know. No one else." He said quietly, hoping the substitute soul reaper would respect that. The frown on his face lightened and Ichigo finally nodded before letting his bankai go. Starrk relaxed a bit further as he saw that.

"Um, sorry. Although why did you run away from me?" Ichigo asked, still suspicious. Starrk hesitated before going with the truth.

"You surprised me. I didn't even remember you until I saw you." He said honestly. It was pathetic, really. He hadn't even known who Ichigo was, or Kenpachi for that matter. He hadn't cared to ask, he'd just carried out Aizen's orders without the slightest bit of curiosity. Starrk hated to think of that mindset, now. So hopeless and empty… he wasn't that person anymore. He was Lupe. Yet, he still kept his old name, within his mind at least. It was odd.

_No it's not. In a lot of ways, Lupe is still a mask. Starrk is everything you are, good and bad._ Lilinette said and Starrk blinked at the thought. Perhaps she was right. Fortunately, everyone around him seemed to be relaxing.

"So Ukitake picked you to take over in Karakura town when I go to University. I see… have you been here long?" Ichigo asked and Starrk shook his head. "Would you like me to show you around?" Starrk hesitated.

"Err… possibly some other time? I'm a bit tired." He actually felt sick, exhausted and in dire need of sustenance. "And hungry. Isn't it about supper time?" He was pretty sure of that, honestly. That made Keigo start.

"Oh no! I'm really late! I'll catch you guys later! Good luck, uh, Starrk? Lupe?" Starrk winced before giving the teen a hard look. "Lupe, right! Later!" He took off running as Orihime bit her lip.

"I should be going too… although, would you like to join me for supper Lupe-san? I'm having salmon roe sushi with chocolate and pickles!" She said with a smile and Starrk blinked. That sounded… strangely appealing. Deciding that as good as it might sound it wouldn't taste great coming back up, he shook his head with a smile.

"I have some potatoes waiting for me, but thank you." He said easily and she dimpled before hurrying off. Ichigo was giving him an odd look, though. "Hm?"

"Where are you staying? The Urahara shoten?" He asked and Starrk blinked. He had no idea what that was.

"No, I'm staying in a park." Ichigo gave him a disbelieving look and Starrk continued, a touch defensively. "I have a tent, a camp stove, everything I need. And there's a firepit for grilling." He'd commandeered one for his potatoes. They had been buried in the coals and were waiting for him to get back. There was a chance someone would be using the fire pit but hopefully he'd manage to retrieve them. If not, he had other things to eat.

"…Huh. Well, would you like me to show you around tomorrow then?" Ichigo asked and Starrk nodded. He was supposed to be working with the substitute shinigami, it might be wise to get to know him. And maybe he could find out what an Urahara was. He honestly had no clue.

"Tomorrow." He would be able to find Ichigo easily. Finally making an escape, he went back to his camp. The camp stove soon got put into use as he used it to heat up some baked beans. Along with a potato and some pickled vegetables, it made an acceptable meal. Licking his lips, Starrk wished he had more fresh vegetables. But he had nothing to keep them cool with. Perhaps next time he came back from Soul Society he would bring a kido cooler filled with vegetables.

If he was going to be Karakura's shinigami for a long time, he should probably make his home away from home comfortable.

* * *

"…And this is Urahara's candy shop." Ichigo finished his tour of Karakura town and Starrk smiled as he sorted through the items on display. Candy… he really wanted some candy. Would this shop owner accept Soul Society currency? Almost certainly.

"Thank you very much for showing me around. I really appreciate it." Starrk said sincerely. Today, he'd been introduced to several of Karakura town's more colorful residents, including Don Kanonji. That had been strange to say the least. Starrk intended to avoid the man as much as possible. The offer to teach him the arts of ghost hunting had just been too odd, even for a former Espada.

"It was nothing. I want to apologize for how I acted." Ichigo said and Starrk flicked him a glance before smiling. The teen was looking down, quite embarrassed about his behavior.

"It was my fault as well. I should never have run from you like that. Forgive me?" He said before offering Ichigo a hand. The young man took it with a real smile. It was almost dazzling.

"Only if you forgive me." He said easily and Starrk nodded with a smile. Then he glanced back at the candies.

"I'm just dying for a candy now. Would you like some?" He asked and Ichigo shook his head. Picking out an assortment of malt balls, sour candies and saltwater toffee's, he made his way to the cash register. The heady scent of sugar was almost making his mouth water. A young boy rang him up and Starrk had to ask if they took Soul Society currency. They did but the exchange rate was rather painful and Starrk winced a bit as he made his payment. He really, really wanted the candy though.

"You know, you should probably get a gigai." Ichigo remarked as they walked away, Starrk already sucking on a sour pucker. It was doing exactly what it advertised on the wrapper. Coughing a little, he responded.

"Then I would have to find a place to store it. And I'm really not interested in owing anyone." He said. One thing that living in Los Noches had taught him was that favors often weren't really free. Barragan had been bad for that but Gin and Aizen had both been worse.

"You're sure you haven't met Urahara? He'll make you work like a dog for his help." Ichigo said with a smile. "But until I leave, you can keep it at my house. Everyone else does." He sounded more than a touch exasperated. Starrk couldn't help but laugh as he tore into his bag of malt balls. He quickly crushed a few, absolutely loving the flavor of chocolate and the texture of the malt.

"I'll think about it. I'm planning to go back to Soul Society soon." The thought of seeing Shunsui and Juushiro again… Starrk desperately wanted to go home. And Soul Society was his home, now.

"Oh, you have a girlfriend?" Ichigo asked and the innocent nature of the question almost made him choke on a malt ball. He coughed a little before favoring his new friend – were they friends? – with a small smile.

"Oh no. My luck with women is rather poor." He said easily, remembering how Kira had put it. Ichigo looked a touch puzzled and Starrk wondered if he would ever hear the rumors. Possibly not, but possibly he would, if Rukia or Renji told him.

"Really? You're awfully handsome, I'd have thought they would be flocking to you." Ichigo said and Starrk sighed to himself. He would have thought so, too. They certainly had been in Los Noches. Of course, that hadn't just been due to his physical charms. His position as Primera had been a huge lure.

As fun as it was to hang out with Ichigo, though, the young man had obligations in the real world. They parted ways and Starrk found a place on the roof of a building, quietly munching his candy as he watched the people go by. Maybe Ichigo was right. Maybe he should get a gigai and start really interacting with the world, rather than observing it from on high. Although… would a gigai adversely affect the whatever-it-was in his belly? And how was he going to find out what that was? The incident with Orihime alarmed him.

_You know, Starrk, I've been thinking._ Lilinette said softly and Starrk frowned. She sounded very serious. _I'm really sure this is something you were meant to do. I can think of one way you can find out… go to Los Noches and see if you can find your medical records._

"My… Lilinette, that could take weeks!" Szayel's filing system had been pretty good, to begin with, but at this point? Not so much. "And that's if I could find it at all." After the way his lab had been torn apart that was a fifty fifty chance at best. "And when could we do it? They might not pick up on a single garganta but…" If he had to make multiple gargantas his chances of getting caught rose exponentially. "Not to mention that I wouldn't be in Karakura town or Soul Society for days. What is someone needed me for something?" What if Rukia tried to send him a hell butterfly? There was an exasperated sigh from his zanpakuto.

_I know! Maybe you can see if you can get some leave or something? Tell them your granny died? I don't know!_ She said and Starrk rolled his eyes. His granny? Ukitake knew he didn't have one. _You know what I mean!_

"I know. I'll think about it." If his situation got any worse he would get serious about it. For now, though, he was more interested in going home and finding time to spend time with his lovers. In fact, he was planning to do that tomorrow. Hopefully Shunsui and Juushiro would be available. If not, he would just have to try again some other time.

He was a patient man. He could wait.

* * *

"Mmm. You know what I love the most about you, Lupe?" Shunsui said, idly tracing a pattern on his bare chest. Juushiro was curled up on his other side, Starrk lying comfortably between the two of them.

"No, what?" He asked, feeling warm, happy and very satisfied. They'd played with the bondage gear again tonight and he'd been the star victim. Not that he minded. No, quite the opposite, he loved it when both his lovers were feeling demanding.

"You make it so we're not afraid to try new things." Shunsui said and Starrk looked at him curiously. He was smiling, his grey eyes warm. "All these things… I never would have done them with just Juushiro and I. I would have been too afraid of hurting him." He said and Juushiro stirred.

"I'm not breakable, you know." He said, mildly offended. Shunsui laughed, reaching over to gently stroke pure white hair.

"Oh, I know, I know! But I still would have been afraid because I wouldn't have known what I was doing. With Lupe, it's different. He knows all the little tips and tricks that no one tells you. Like that ankle spreader bar and that we had to be careful not to put too much pressure on his thighs. How would I have known that?" Shunsui asked which was definitely a valid question. "Or the right way to use a cock ring. That was shockingly fun!" He said with a charming smile and Starrk laughed softly.

"Hmmm… you do have a point. I never would have dared touch it without his coaching." Juushiro admitted and Starrk found he was blushing. All this praise was getting to him a bit.

"If you both keep that up, I might get a swelled head. And I am just an unseated shinigami, you know." Starrk reminded them and Juushiro chuckled softly, kissing him on the cheek. Starrk closed his eyes, enjoying the contact.

"As soon as a spot comes available you're up for a promotion. And after that, you should make fukutaichou." Juushiro promised and that abruptly drained the pleasure out of the evening. How would he ensure he didn't make fukutaichou? Starrk honestly wasn't sure.

"Lupe?" A warm hand encircled his chin and Starrk found himself looking into concerned grey eyes. "Is something wrong?" Shunsui's voice was warm and concerned. Starrk blinked before giving him a small smile.

"Nothing important." He said firmly before kissing his mate soundly. Then he did the same to Juushiro, determined not to think of it.

The future would just have to take care of itself.


	12. Always Watch Your Glass

"I'm hungry but I don't want to eat any of this!" Starrk complained as he sorted through the contents of his cooler. Snagging a cuke, he bit into the unassuming vegetable. It wouldn't do much for his aching hunger, but it was the least objectionable thing he could find. "Ugggh."

_Stop being such a prima donna and eat something. What do you want to eat, anyway?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk had to think about it.

"I want… something salty yet sweet. But with a crunch. Like… sharp, white cheese with apricot preserves on a bit of cracker. Yes! That's what I want." He could almost taste it. The flaky cheese, so sharp and salty against the sweetness of the apricot… and maybe make it a chutney, some walnut pieces with the apricots… the cracker would be a really good cracker, the kind that was made with nuts in the blend… Starrk closed his eyes, his mouth watering as he experienced it vicariously.

_Wow. That's… really vivid. You're actually kind of creeping me out now._ Lilinette said and Starrk blinked. He had almost managed an out of body experience, for a moment. _Too bad the only cheese you brought is that crappy yellow stuff._

"And I only have raspberry jam." Somehow, it wasn't the same. Finally deciding to make the best of a bad situation, he sliced up some yellow cheese, fished out some of his crackers – again, they were nothing fancy, not like the ones he'd been dreaming about – and spread it with jam. Then he settled in to munch. "It's not bad." It wasn't quite what he wanted but it would do.

_Anything to shut you up. So what's on the agenda for today?_ Lilinette asked and Starrk licked away a bit of stray jam as he thought about it.

"Well, I've already more than fulfilled my quota." After accidentally running into a Visored, he'd decided that his bait was a bad idea. The way that woman had looked at him… she reminded him a touch of Halibel. Starrk really didn't want to go through that a second time. Still, even without his lure he was having an easy time finding his prey. Basic hollows were plentiful in Karakura town. "I was thinking that I could try out my gigai. Maybe exchange some of my money and do something." He was vague on what, though. What did humans do for fun? He honestly had no idea. "I could buy a book and read it at the café."

_That's really lame Starrk. Why don't you go to a nightclub or something?_ Lilinette suggested and Starrk grimaced.

"I don't think that would be fun without my friends." He drank mostly in company. Rukia and the other or Shunsui and Juushiro. The second could be dangerous since Shunsui liked to keep filling his glass, but it was still a great deal of fun. Drinking by himself wouldn't be the same.

_You wouldn't be alone, Starrk. You'd be surrounded by people._ She said and Starrk frowned. He thought he could easily get laid that way, but he wasn't even remotely interested. And just chatting with random strangers who knew nothing about his real life or duties… no. _Why don't you see if Ichigo and his friends want to hang out then?_

"Hm, perhaps." It made Starrk very uneasy, but all of Ichigo's friends knew about his history. Perhaps Kurosaki could have kept a secret, but Orihime and Keigo couldn't. They were all aware that the Soul Reapers shouldn't be told, though, and Starrk hoped they would at least manage to honor that. If not… he had been a shinigami for a while at this point. Surely that would earn him some points? "Yes, that might be a good idea. He might be busy though. I suppose we can see." Ichigo was studying hard, trying to get the best marks possible for his final year. He'd largely given over his duties to Starrk, with gratitude. Ishida Uryuu was also giving schoolwork most of his attention and leaving things to the proper shinigami representative.

To his surprise, Ichigo was available. Actually, he was in dire need of a break from his studies, a feeling Starrk knew intimately. He was too young to go clubbing, though, something that amused the young construct given that he was quite a bit younger. Instead, they went to the mall.

It was the first time Starrk had experienced the mall, although Soul Society had plenty of outdoor markets. He found he very much enjoyed it although he only had a small amount of real world currency, changed for him at Urahara's shop. He and Ichigo chatted as they explored and Starrk began to notice something odd in their interactions. Sidelong glances, the occasional hesitations… what was going through Ichigo's mind? Starrk wasn't sure.

_I think he likes you._ Lilinette suddenly said and Starrk blinked. She thought…?

"Oh, haha, very funny." Starrk muttered under his breath. He didn't think that was it. Lilinette just laughed at him. "Are you hungry?" Starrk asked as his stomach growled. He was getting hungry quite a lot recently, he'd noticed. Yet at the same time he was often feeling oddly picky. Ichigo gave him a small smile and Starrk noticed again how beautiful it was. If he'd known Ichigo better he would have known the teen rarely smiled this much, but Starrk was just getting to know him.

"Sure. I could use a coffee." Ichigo said and Starrk nodded. He had no taste for coffee but he knew that quite a lot of people enjoyed it. They made their way to the food court and then Starrk was faced with the dilemma of figuring out what he wanted.

_Damnit Starrk! Just pick something and eat it! What's wrong with you?_ Lilinette sounded quite grumpy. Starrk grumped right back.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, that's the problem…" Finally settling on pizza with a side salad, he took the tray back to the table. Ichigo was already there with a frothy coffee from the mall Starbucks.

"That took a while." He commented and Starrk blushed as he took a seat.

"I had trouble deciding." He said honestly. And he wasn't sure the pizza was going to work. Something about the scent of the pepperoni was making his stomach uneasy but it was too late now. Taking a bite he waited for a reaction before relaxing. He'd been afraid it would trigger his gag reflex and he would be forced to spit it out. "This is rather good." He seemed to be craving grease at the moment. The pizza had that abundantly.

"Really? I always thought they were too greasy." Starrk blinked at the odd echoing of his thoughts. Ichigo was looking into his coffee, though. "Lupe, um… can I ask you something personal?" He said softly and Starrk nodded, his mouth full. "Renji said that everyone in Soul Society thinks you're gay. How is that?"

"Er…" That was quite a loaded question. From the troubled expression on the substitute Soul Reaper's face, he had an idea of what the response would be. "Not too good." He admitted as Ichigo dropped his gaze to his coffee again. "I have to stay very alert, much of the time." Starrk had no illusions. There were still those who would do him harm, if he gave them any kind of chance. "But I have friends." He had people who would watch his back. That was always a good thing. "If I could go back in time, I never would have let anyone know." Starrk said with a sigh. He deeply regretted that. "It was my hollow past… for hollows, it means nothing. And 'do you want to' is enough of a come on." He said ruefully. He honestly missed that.

"Oh." There was a pause as Starrk munched his pizza. "Do you want to?" Ichigo suddenly asked and Starrk froze, mid bite. Then he let go of the pizza, looking into troubled and almost frightened brown eyes.

"I… what?" He asked cautiously. Did Ichigo mean what he thought? The teen swallowed nervously before speaking.

"I… think I might be like that." He almost whispered and Starrk stared. He'd honestly had no clue. Lilinette was giggling in the background. Pleased that she had been right, no doubt. "I'm pretty sure. I don't know who to talk to… I mean, Renji is right out, he doesn't seem to think much of it. Rukia is trying to be open about you but I couldn't… and I want to be sure. I, I want to know what it's like. How to do it." He was so embarrassed, his cheeks were adorably flushed. Starrk considered the offer for a moment, his mind still a bit cushioned with shock. Would Shunsui and Juushiro mind if he showed Ichigo what sex felt like?

After a few moments of contemplation, he was sure they wouldn't. Shunsui would probably laugh and point out that they were already sharing him with each other. Juushiro would likely think it was rather sweet and be concerned for Ichigo's future. Eventually, he would come to Soul Society. So that left himself. Did he want to do this? His own first experience decided him. As good as it had been, he wanted something more loving for Ichigo. After everything Shunsui and Juushiro had shown him, Starrk knew he could do that for him.

"You know, I think I wouldn't mind." Starrk said after a long moment and Ichigo seemed to sag a bit in relief. "But please remember that I have someone I care about. This will be a one time only thing." He said warningly and Ichigo nodded, although a flicker of interest went through his eyes.

"Who is it? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." He added and Starrk shook his head with a small smile.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you. He's not in the open and I would never reveal him against his will." Starrk said and Ichigo blinked before biting his lip. "We have to be very careful how we meet." He couldn't help the sadness that crept into his voice. As much as he loved Shunsui and Juushiro, that hurt sometimes. He would always be a secret. But then he forcefully put it aside. He was one of the few openly gay men in all of Soul Society, he would be in the same situation with any man. Although not a woman. Starrk almost wished he could turn away, but he knew he couldn't. He loved them too much.

"I see… and he wouldn't mind if you…?" Ichigo was blushing again and Starrk smiled, amused, as he started on his salad. Then he curled his lip. There was something off about the dressing. Deciding he didn't want it, he pushed it aside.

"Oh no, he wouldn't mind. But where will we do this?" He asked and Ichigo blinked. "I don't think your home would be ideal. Your sisters…" That was a bit of a nightmare. "We could use my tent. I wouldn't mind." It would really be quite comfortable. His tent was rather plush now, he'd added some pillows. Ichigo gave him a wondering look.

"You're really living in a tent in the park?" He asked and Starrk wondered why everyone thought that was so odd. "I know Soul Society doesn't supply accommodations for their shinigami in the Living World, but I've never heard of anyone doing that."

"Because everyone in Karakura town has a substitute shinigami to sponge off of." Starrk said with a smile and Ichigo snorted. "They would deny it but I think that's the primary function of substitute shinigami." It certainly made things convenient for regular shinigami.

"Oh, thanks!" Finishing off their food, they departed. Not for his tent, though. They went to Ichigo's house first to stash his gigai and Ichigo gave his body to Kon. Since his tent couldn't be seen by normal people, it followed that Ichigo needed to use his soul body. Then they went to the park. "So this is where you live? Um… it's interesting." That was the polite way to put it and Starrk grinned.

"I'm a very successful squatter and street person." He said seriously and Ichigo snorted. "It works for me. Honestly, it's quite comfortable." It wasn't as good as his suites in Los Noches, but it did suit him quite well.

"If you say so." Ichigo said, running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. Starrk went to the camp stove. He could have just pulled the young man into his tent but Ichigo was already very tense.

"Would you like some herbal tea?" He asked, setting out a kettle and turning up the burner. "Although it will take some time to heat." One thing he missed about Soul Society was instant hot water. There were kido heaters everywhere, for the purposes of making tea. A very delicate kido spell could accomplish the same thing but Starrk still had a moderation problem. If he tried to heat water with kido he would likely melt the kettle.

"…Maybe later? I'd like to, um…" Ichigo was blushing and Starrk blinked before smiling. Then he gently took Ichigo's hand.

"We can let it heat while I teach you." He murmured and the blush darkened for a moment before Ichigo nodded. Brown eyes were wide with both anticipation and fear as Starrk drew the young man into his tent.

The tent really was quite plush. Starrk had an air mattress and a nice little nest of blankets. Also a sleeping bag, but that was tucked to the side at the moment. He found it was too warm for the summer nights. There were several pillows as well, simple but very comfortable looking. To Starrk, his warm little nest spelled comfort and security. The latter was largely an illusion – the walls were nothing but fabric – but it was very nice.

Starrk gently tugged his partner down onto the mattress and began disrobing him, trying to be as seductive as possible. He gently teased the revealed skin with his fingertips, making Ichigo gasp. The young soul reaper was soon trying to return the favor, easing him out of his robes. They kissed then and Starrk could feel the young man trembling under him, still with that combination of desire and fear. Starrk rolled his hips against Ichigo, feeling the evidence of his arousal against his belly. He gripped their erections, stroking them together and enjoying the soft gasps of his partner. The fear was fading, overwhelmed by need and pleasure.

"Ichigo." Starrk murmured into his ear, watching as those lust hazed brown eyes focused on him. "Do you want to be inside me? Or do you want to feel me inside you?" He asked and watched as the young man swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing. It was just too tempting and Starrk began to nuzzle his throat, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin. He smelled good, warm but with just a trace of hollow musk. The former Espada found that quite arousing.

"I would like to be inside you." Ichigo whispered and Starrk nodded with a small smile. He wasn't too surprised. That was much less frightening for a beginner. "But… how do I…?" More blushing. It was sweet. Starrk kissed him again, running a hand down his side in a slow, gentle gesture.

"I'll show you how to prepare me." He promised and Ichigo nodded, his eyes wide. There was lube in the tent, for self-pleasuring purposes. Starrk smiled as he fished it out. He always entertained himself with thoughts of Shunsui and Juushiro, when he used it. "Now, this is lube. It's possible to prepare someone with only spit, but it helps if they're a bit masochistic." He said and smiled as Ichigo choked a little at the thought. "Let me show you how to do this properly…"

As they continued Starrk discovered, to his surprise, that giving someone a lesson in sex was really quite fun. This was something he'd honestly never experienced before… well, unless you counted introducing Shunsui and Juushiro to his toys. But they had already been vastly experienced in regular sex. Ichigo was experiencing things for the first time and his reactions were very arousing. Starrk gasped as the substitute Soul Reaper finally slid home into his stretched and lubricated body.

"Oh kami…" Ichigo groaned in his ear as Starrk nuzzled him, feeling the way his body was trembling as he struggled to control himself. "Can I?" He asked and Starrk nodded.

"Please." He whispered and Ichigo began to take him, slowly at first but then speeding up. Starrk wrapped his legs around the young man's waist, enjoying the sensation of that hard length inside him. Although it was more ghosting over his prostate, not striking it firmly. Starrk was sure that was not intentional. "Ah… you need to find my prostate." He said softly and Ichigo shifted slightly, trying to adjust his angle. Starrk groaned as he scored a direct hit. "Yes, like that." He murmured before kissing the young man again. Ichigo moaned into his mouth, his thrusts speeding. "Now, touch me…" He guided Ichigo's hand to his straining erection and groaned as he felt that hand begin to work on him. It felt so good…

It was over too soon. Starrk wasn't even close to his orgasm when he felt Ichigo stiffen against him, felt the hot pulse of his release. The young man was left gasping and trembling, slumping against him. Starrk nuzzled his neck, kissing his cheek and trying to ignore his bodies' needs. Although he wanted more and Ichigo knew it. He pulled back a bit, looking ashamed.

"I – I'm sorry. I didn't…" He started awkwardly and Starrk laughed, taking his hand and guiding it back to his body.

"Then finish me. You can do it." He murmured and saw Ichigo swallow before he began to stroke him again. The feel of that callused hand on his length, the warmth of that body pressed against him… Starrk closed his eyes, letting the pleasure build in his loins. It was good, in a completely different way from what he did with Shunsui and Juushiro. Sweet and oddly innocent.

Starrk gasped as he reached a soft release, his cum coating Ichigo's hand and splattering his belly. He savored the feeling behind it, the pleasure of his body and the moment. Opening his eyes he met warm brown, smiling as he saw how affected Ichigo was by this. His eyes were wide and his breathing was fast as he watched the man beneath him find his pleasure.

"That was good." Starrk murmured and meant it. Ichigo bit his lip, clearly thinking he was just being polite. "Don't feel bad, Ichigo. It happens sometimes." He said gently, reaching up to gently stroke that youthful face. Had he ever been so young? Chronologically, he was much younger than Ichigo even now, but it felt like he was a thousand years older. Likely that was Szayel's fault, with his information feeds. And the other Espada. His experiences with them would have finished off any lingering childishness. Not just the sex, but the other interactions.

"I couldn't have lasted more than five minutes." Ichigo muttered, which was actually a good guess. Starrk chuckled softly. "Was your first time like that too?" He asked and the young shinigami blinked.

"Err… not really. But my first time as a hollow wasn't exactly normal." He said honestly and Ichigo looked puzzled. "Let's just say I wasn't given the option of going off too soon, and leave it at that." It hadn't been his own stamina that time. No, Barragan had been well aware he was dealing with a near virgin and had plenty of ways to take care of it. Starrk flushed a little as he remembered.

"Oh." Ichigo sighed softly before slowly pulling away from him. Starrk vaguely wished he could stay, but he surely needed to get home. "Lupe… thank you. I think that helped me a lot." He said softly and Starrk caught the sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked and Ichigo hesitated a moment before giving him a small smile.

"I just wish I was normal." He said and Starrk could fully empathize. He wasn't normal either, and it was far more profound than just his sexuality. "But now I know I'm not. So, thank you." Ichigo bent down and they kissed again. It was slow and tender, a loving kiss. Starrk savored it but knew it wouldn't happen again. He liked Ichigo as a friend, but nothing more. He wouldn't lead the teenager on.

"I'm sure you'll find someone to love you." He said quietly. "Good luck." Ichigo nodded before slipping out of the tent and Starrk yawned. He needed his tea, then a nap. First, though, he pulled out some tissues to clean himself off.

This kind of thing always left him tired and needing a nap.

* * *

"This is fun." Starrk murmured to himself as he sipped his drink.

He was at a party being held at the Third Division. Kira had invited him, which was very kind of him. There were other people he knew, like Rangiku and Momo. Renji wasn't there – finally attending to his duties as fukutaichou – and Rukia hadn't been able to come either. But still, he had people to talk to.

And he was trying to make new friends. Some of the members of Kira's unit seemed receptive. Starrk was listening to a story when a flash of pink caught his attention. He made the mistake of leaving his glass unattended for just a moment as he turned to look. It was the tiniest of slips and if someone hadn't been watching him carefully, they would have missed it. But someone was and a hand darted out, dropping a tiny bit of white powder in his drink.

Starrk knew nothing of that. He'd thought for a moment he'd spotted Shunsui, but it was just a pretty girl in a pink kimono. Most of the shinigami at the party were in street clothes, including himself. Turning back to the rest of the party he picked up his drink and took another sip.

The wine went to his head surprisingly quickly. Starrk rubbed his face as he started to feel rather ill. Grimacing, he started edging towards the exit. He probably needed to throw up again. Lunch had been odd, pickled herring with oatmeal. Starrk had no idea what had possessed him to crave that particular combination but perhaps he was paying for it now.

"Lupe, are you alright?" Kira asked and Starrk smiled at him. He was feeling a bit unsteady on his feet but it was hardly too bad… then an arm went around him from the side.

"I'll take care of him, Izuru-san." That was someone he didn't know. Starrk glanced over to see he was a tall man with close cropped yellow hair. Something about him was vaguely alarming and Starrk knew he should be pulling away, but strange little dots were starting to waver across his vision.

_Starrk! Don't go with him! You've been drugged! Starrk!_ Lilinette's voice seemed very far away as he was 'helped' out of the party. Starrk was barely clinging to consciousness as the drug continued to do its work, rendering him helpless. Face surrounded him before something suddenly hit him in the face.

Pain consumed him and he knew nothing more.


	13. All Good Things

Starrk woke up to excruciating pain and the sound of soft crying.

It took him a moment to organize his thoughts enough to understand what was happening to him. There were ropes around his chest, holding him against some kind of pole. He was in a kneeling position, his ankles tied behind the pole to keep him there. The pain was coming from his hands and Starrk looked up. His hands were above his head, palm out, and his own sword had been shoved through them, pinning him in place. The pain of it was sickening and he gritted his teeth, struggling against the urge to throw up. The only place it had to go was on him, which would only compound his misery.

"Well, sleeping beauty just woke up." That voice… Starrk lifted his head with a pained grimace.

"Who are you?" He asked as he realized what the sobbing was… it was Lilinette. Of course she would be in agony, being forced to harm him this way. But her voice was strangely muffled. The stranger in front of him was the man with yellow hair but now Starrk remembered him. He was one of the ones who had ambushed him in the Division, the ones who hadn't been identified. "Kira will have your balls for this." Starrk said through gritted teeth. It wasn't like there would be any doubt at all of who had removed him from the party. The man in front of him grinned.

"I have a plan for that, not that it'll matter to you faggot." He said and Starrk caught a very unsettling gleam in his eyes. The man was enjoying this. He wasn't alone, either. He let his gaze travel over the others. Kyoraku Iso was there, looking anticipatory. Several others he didn't really know, but could recognize, including a few nobles from minor clans. The Kuchiki fellow wasn't there. No doubt he'd heeded his clan head's warnings. Byakuya was very respected and more than a little feared. "We were just going to kill you, slowly." He said casually and Starrk wasn't terribly surprised. The way his hands were suspended was a hint. "But now… look at you." Hands slid over his shoulders and Starrk grimaced as the slight motion increased the already agonizing pain. "Someone likes to bite. Who left these marks on you, fag?" He whispered and Starrk desperately wished his last sexual encounter with Shunsui and Juushiro hadn't involved love nips. They'd used his little trick for enhancing orgasm. "Who is your lover?"

"I'll never tell you." Starrk said evenly as he noticed the heavy weight of stone and steel on his neck. That was why Lilinette's voice was muffled and why he couldn't sense his own reiatsu. A retaining collar. Was it enough to hold a taichou class reiatsu, though? He narrowed his eyes then grunted as the man laughed and slapped his arms, sending a wave of horrifying pain through his body and spilling more hot blood over his palms. It was trickling down his arms, sliding down his shoulders and sides.

"Never is a long time, pervert. Let's see how long it really takes." The man smirked before drawing a knife. Starrk set himself, trying to mentally prepare for torture. He knew it would be hard. Aizen had punished him a few times, mostly for being lazy, but that had only been a few whippings. He'd never experienced anything like this.

The next several hours were incredibly unpleasant. Starrk was beaten, pinched, burned and cut. He hated the pinches. 'Pinch' sounded so cute, like something you would do to a granddaughter, but not when it was done so hard, with such intent to hurt. Starrk was sure he would have blood blisters from that if he somehow managed to survive. Being burned with cigarettes and hot knives wasn't much better. They spat on him, taunted him, but Starrk refused to care too much about simple humiliation. He wanted to survive or at the very least, make them kill him before they could learn anything about his lovers. Eventually, they might wear him down. Although he could always lie. Who could he do that to, though? It was so hard to think.

Then they tried something new. One of them put a blindfold over his eyes. Starrk heard some shuffling, something coming out of a box? A rustle of paper. What were they doing? Then he tensed as he felt more than heard someone kneel in front of him. Then they were touching him, sliding a hand over him far too intimately and Starrk's breath hissed between his teeth. If this was what he thought it was…

Even with that tiny bit of warning, the pain of what happened next was shocking. Starrk went rigid as something hard and plastic was jammed into his asshole. He'd had plenty of rough sex in Los Noches but in all his young life, no one had ever taken him completely unprepared and unwilling. His pleasure had always meant something to his partners, no matter how hard they were on him. He'd been the Primera, with the power to make them pay if they hurt him too much. This was so different… the man in front of him was laughing and jerking the toy back and forth, simulating thrusting. That created a raw, jagged agony that made him want to cry. He held back the shameful sobs but couldn't stop a few tears, trickles of saltwater that slid down his cheeks and dripped off his chin. The blindfold came off and he was left looking at his primary tormenter.

"You like that fag?" The yellow haired man whispered in his ear. Starrk still didn't know his name, but he knew one thing about him. He was in charge of this. Nobles or not, the others were his lackey's. "Tell me who's been fucking you and I'll take it out." He said and Starrk felt the most intense hatred he'd ever experienced in his life.

"I'll… tell you…" Starrk rasped out and the stranger leaned closer, struggling to hear him. Then he spat in the man's face. It was a lot of spit too, with a bit of blood mixed in. He had a brief glimpse of wide brown eyes, absolute disbelief, before it morphed into homicidal rage.

"You motherfucking - !" A hard fist went into his gut and the air was driven out of him. Starrk gasped, trying to catch his breath. Then he lost the struggle as a hand tangled in his necklace, yanking it tight and throttling him. The leather with the wolf's fang had been left to dangle over the retaining collar and his captor had just made use of it.

_Starrk! Do something!_ Lilinette's voice sounded so far away. Everything was started to feel far away, as he was remorselessly choked. Starrk could vaguely hear alarmed cries and knew this wasn't what his enemies had planned, they still wanted their information, but the yellow haired man was lost to his rage. _Lupe! Stop him! Lupe!_

_Lupe…_ The name seemed to echo through his mind and something abruptly settled in his soul. _Lupe…_ But that wasn't quite right. No, he knew what was right. The leather abruptly parted as his reiatsu breathed out, causing the collar to expand and contract with the force of it. The yellow haired man yelped in anger as he lost his grip.

"Loup… garou." Starrk said, his voice raspy and strange. Then he grinned as he lifted his head, meeting angry brown eyes. "Bankai." The sword pinning his hands in place dissolved in a welter of blue sparks. Then his reiatsu exploded with a force the collar just couldn't hold. It had held a great deal of pressure, but it couldn't cope with the full might of the Primera Espada in bankai. It shattered, falling to his feet. The ropes abruptly parted as he exerted a strength that was too much for them to hold.

The rest was a bit of a blur in Starrk's mind. There was definitely a lot of screaming and futile attempts to stop him. He was vaguely aware of ebony claws and fur, the changes to his body his bankai had created, but they didn't matter. What mattered was the taste of blood and the feel of flesh rending under his hands as he tore his enemies apart.

When there was nothing left but finally divided pieces, Starrk came to a halt. As the frenzy faded he realized he was cold, covered in blood and that horrific toy was still lodged in his body. Hissing it utter agony, he extracted it and dropped it to the ground. How had he managed to fight like that? But he'd lost his mind, given in to a berserker rage.

_Starrk, are you okay? Starrk?_ Lilinette sounded both extremely worried and faint with relief. Relieved because he was free and alive, worried about his condition. Starrk was vaguely aware that he had to be in shock. His hands weren't hurting as much as they should.

"Yes, I'm… fine…" Of course he wasn't. He was an incredible mess. "…I'm naked." That was a problem. Why hadn't he killed someone more neatly? The clothes around him were utterly ruined. And where was he?

_Starrk! Try to focus. You're in the Rukongai. There's some houses over there, go see if someone left any clothing on a line._ That sounded like a reasonably good plan although Starrk wondered how likely it was, that someone would have left clothing on the clothesline overnight.

At that, he got lucky. Starrk managed to find a loose fitting yukata. It was dark green with a pattern of flowers and clearly meant for a woman, but he absolutely didn't care. He pulled it on with shaking hands, flinching at the pain. The shock was wearing off and his hands were making him quietly whimper. Soon, he was sure they would be close to unusable.

"We're in a bad place, Lilinette." Starrk said and felt her sad agreement. "I've murdered three nobles." And one from a very prominent clan. A clan that was very likely to take revenge.

_That wasn't murder Starrk. That was flat out self-defense!_ Lilinette snarled and Starrk sighed to himself, rubbing his forehead. He agreed with her completely. He just didn't think it would matter much, in the end.

"It doesn't matter. They will campaign against me." He said softly. He knew it was true. The noble clans exerted a huge amount of influence on the justice process. And it would be easy for them to make a case that his self-defense had been far too spirited, indicative of someone who was mentally flawed. He'd used a bankai against men who mostly didn't have a shikai. And his sexuality would work against him. It wouldn't even need to be stated… the general feeling against it would do the work. "I would be executed, or worse." Worse would be the mukan. Starrk did not want to be imprisoned indefinitely.

_Wouldn't it have a time limit? They'd put you away for a hundred years or something, right?_ Lilinette said and Starrk struggled to think. Perhaps she was right and that wouldn't be a fate worse than death. The regular prisoners were allowed to interact with each other. But…

"What if they examined me? And this thing in my belly… ah! I can't give myself up." He just couldn't take chances on Soul Societies' idea of justice. "I need to… to…" What did he need to do? It was getting so hard to think. He desperately wanted to rest but he didn't have the luxury.

_Starrk, you need to go to Kimono-chan and Shiro-chan. Maybe they can help you._ Lilinette said and Starrk blinked as a bit of hope suddenly came to him. Shunsui and Juushiro were both nobles. Maybe they would have some idea of how he could survive this. Focusing all of his attention, he launched into a clumsy shunpo. He needed to be careful…

Starrk was well aware of the fact that this wasn't his best work. On the other hand, he didn't think he was being followed either. That was some comfort as he slipped into Shunsui's and Juushiro's home. His injuries made everything so much harder and he was panting in agony as he finally allowed himself to collapse onto a couch. He was aware of the fact that he was getting blood on it but he simply couldn't care. His reserves were about done.

_Starrk, you need to – no. Manifest me and I'll shake them awake!_ Lilinette commanded. Starrk knew that wasn't the best idea but he simply couldn't move any further. Biting his lip, he found the mental gear and turned it, watching as Lilinette materialized beside him. "I'll get 'em!"

"No kicks." He said weakly and she sniffed at him before leaving. There was a muffled yelp and he could vaguely hear Juushiro's voice, rising in surprise. Starrk hoped Lilinette wasn't threatening to kick his ass. She might very well be, she could hold grudges almost forever. He closed his eyes, feeling tired, weak and in such pain.

"Oh my kami." Starrk opened his eyes to see Juushiro. He was wearing a robe and looking at the man on his couch with horror. "Lupe, what happened?" Juushiro knelt beside him, healing kido filling his hands. He paled further as he got a sense of the extent of the injuries. Shunsui was behind him, wearing his kimono like a robe, his hair unbound. He looked grim and very unhappy.

"The party last night…" Starrk gave them a quick rundown of what had happened. All he left out was his achievement of bankai. Instead he told them that when he was about to die, he'd managed to snap the retaining collar. That was enough. It wasn't that he distrusted them in particular, but he still wanted to conceal his full strength. Shunsui's expression became even grimmer, if possible, and Juushiro looked sick. "Please, I need your help." He appealed to them and Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment.

"We cannot help you." Starrk stared at that blunt declaration. Shunsui opened his eyes and they reminded Starrk of grey agate, they were so hard. "You are on your own with this."

"But… I…" Starrk didn't know what to make of this sharp rejection. He looked at Juushiro but the taichou just avoided his gaze, continuing to work on his wounds. It was Lilinette who spoke, her voice sharp.

"What the hell?!" She tried to kick Shunsui, who blocked her easily with a lifted eyebrow. "He loves you! You love him! You're just gonna throw him away Kimono-chan? Is a secret worth all that? You gonna be scared forever? What the hell!" She protested, glaring at the taichou. Starrk winced.

"Lilinette. Stop it." He said in a low tone, feeling a deep pain in his heart. "Get back in my head." He said firmly and she tried to protest but he shut her off, demanifesting her. Both his lovers stared as the little girl abruptly vanished.

"So she is still your zanpakuto. And you can manifest her…" Shunsui mused but Starrk shook his head, pulling his hands away from Juushiro. They were only half-healed, but he had an idea.

"At least tell me why you can't help me. At least that." He said, meeting grey eyes and holding them. There was a moment of tension between them before Shunsui looked away. Then he spoke, his voice filled with bitterness.

"My family. Juushiro is different – his family would stand behind him through anything – but mine would turn on me. They would try to have me declared insane and sent to the Mukan, like Mayuri. That's what happens to those who are mentally unstable yet powerful." Shunsui said and Starrk swallowed at the thought. "Without the support of the Gotei 13 and my grandmother, they would succeed." He sounded so certain. Starrk had a horrible suspicion.

"They've tried before." He said softly and there was a pause before Shunsui nodded. He looked at Juushiro and saw he was looking down, his face pale and his hands clenched into fists. Of course he knew what had almost happened to Shunsui. How could he not? "Do you have a camera?" He suddenly asked and Juushiro looked up, surprise in his face.

"I… think so. Why?" He asked as Shunsui nodded.

"I understand. It's in the bedroom, I'll get it." He said and Starrk nodded, relieved that one of them understood. Although Juushiro was still confused. He turned his attention back to the taichou with a wan smile.

"Evidence. If I am to be condemned for my 'crime', I think we should at least be able to show them why I killed them." He said quietly and Juushiro swallowed before nodding. "And it's the most natural thing in the world, me running to my taichou after such an attack." That would raise no eyebrows. Nor would Juushiro letting him escape. After all, his arrest had not been called for yet. Starrk tried to rest his face in his hands, forgetting the wounds, then pulled back with a gasp of pain. Juushiro took his hands again, cradling the abused flesh, but did not try anymore healing. The wounds were still bloody and ugly, perfect for the camera.

Starrk tried to feel nothing as he was photographed, but it was hard, particularly when he had to take off the yukata. He'd used a blanket, also on the clothesline, to sponge off most of the blood. But he was still heavily stained with it and the marks on his body were ugly beyond words. So was the blood still oozing from his abused entrance. Shunsui was hesitant to take pictures of that but Starrk quietly insisted. That would help explain the condition of the corpses, perhaps. Tearing people apart with bare hands was not the usual method of killing, but he had been enraged.

Pulling back on his yukata with shaking hands, Starrk allowed Juushiro to continue the healing. He wouldn't be fully healed, but he would be fit enough to hold a sword and that was what mattered. He knew where he would go although he would not tell them. No, he had someone in mind to hold that secret, and it was not his two lovers. As much as he cared for them, they had duties and obligations. He would find someone outside, unaffected by such things. Someone who would deeply sympathize with his predicament.

"Lupe, I'm so sorry." Juushiro's voice was heavy with tears and Starrk felt his heart breaking as he met those warm brown eyes. Arms went around him, hugging him very gently and Starrk buried his face in his hair, breathing in his scent. Was this the last time he would have this? Very likely.

"It's alright. I would never want to put you in such danger." He said softly, gently patting Juushiro's back as he heard him stifle a sob. Shunsui just watched and Starrk could feel the regret and pain in him. "Shunsui…" He offered the other man an arm and there was a hesitation before he sat down on the couch beside him, putting an arm around him. Starrk let himself be held, just breathing in their combined scents, feeling the warmth of their bodies. Then he sighed, lifting his head. "I have to go." It hurt… how it hurt!... but he could not stay.

"Where will you go?" Shunsui asked and Starrk paused before giving them half of the truth.

"The Living World." Although that was not where he would stay. Los Noches was his ultimate destination. "I'll be fine. I have friends." He said quietly as Shunsui shook his head. Juushiro just looked hopeless.

"They will find you there. Lupe…" He looked down and Starrk managed a weak smile.

"I'll just have to hope they don't want me alive, then." He said lightly and saw Juushiro go pale. But if he had to choose between death and life imprisonment, he would take death every time. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." He had to be. Pushing himself to his feet, he made his way out, not looking back.

This was his past, now. He needed to look towards his future.

* * *

"…I didn't think it would be like this." Shunsui murmured as Juushiro tried to hold back his tears. "I thought… he would die, like the others, and we could mourn him before moving on. I never thought he would survive."

"I didn't either." Juushiro whispered, although the admission brought him more pain. It was sickening to think of, but it was the usual pattern. When someone was revealed as being homosexual, it always seemed to happen the same way… in a few months, a year at the most, they would be found murdered. Or perhaps they would be killed by hollows, but always in a rather suspicious way. As if someone else had deserted them, left them to their fates. That was the ending they had anticipated for Lupe. He'd already survived much longer than any of the others and Juushiro had entertained some hopes that he would continue to outwit those who hated him.

Neither of them had imagined it would end like this. Lupe would be hunted soon although Juushiro suspected that Soi Fon would quietly give orders for him to be killed resisting arrest. It would be much simpler than the kind of ugly trial he would be facing, if the young man was caught. Soutaichou Yamamoto would do nothing to help. Taking action would mean putting himself into conflict with the Kyoraku clan as well as general public sentiment. Many people would feel badly for Lupe, but plenty of others would feel that he'd deserved it. The Seireitei had not moved with the times.

"I feel like such a coward." Shunsui admitted, his voice heavy with remorse. Juushiro shook his head before turning, embracing his lover.

"It's not your fault." He whispered, trying to give him comfort. He felt Shunsui stiffen, felt his rejection.

"But it is! Why the hell can't my family just leave me alone?" He asked, his voice full of anguish. "If the bastards would just disown me…" Then he wouldn't be in quite so much danger. Right now, the Kyoraku clan had power over him, in many ways. "I'm so sorry Juu." Shunsui said softly and Juushiro just shook his head. "I – I have to think." Shunsui said and Juushiro blinked.

"Think about what? Shunsui?" He asked cautiously, his heart clenching. He'd always left the decisions about this sort of thing up to Shunsui, because he would be taking the most risk. But was he actually thinking about taking that risk? That honestly terrified him. Juushiro had been his friend and lover for hundreds of years. The thought of losing him… he didn't think he could survive it. Juushiro bit his lip as he realized his words to Shunsui had been truer than he'd thought. It wasn't his fault. As much as he loved Lupe, he would probably have made the same decision. That made him feel deeply ashamed of himself. Was he really such a coward? Shunsui gave him a small, troubled smile, still holding him close.

"I just have to think." He said and Juushiro was not reassured. "About… everything." He closed his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. "When should we report this? Delaying too long might look suspicious." He said quietly and Juushiro nodded.

"We can give him a few hours." That would give Lupe more than enough time to leave Soul Society. And it would be some time before anyone would be sent to hunt him down.

Hopefully, that would be enough.


	14. The Absurdity of it All

"God curse it." Starrk growled as he rapped strongly at a window. He was feeling beyond exhausted now. The pain of his still not entirely healed injuries was taxing him, deeply. Along with the first use of his bankai, he simply needed to rest.

He couldn't rest. He needed to get out of the Living World while he still could, before anyone could be dispatched to find him. That meant he had to keep moving, no matter how much his body might be screaming for mercy. The window was finally yanked open and a sleep mussed head glared at him sleepily, then blinked.

"Lupe? What's going on?" Ichigo muffled a yawn as he moved away from the window, letting the young shinigami climb inside. Starrk grimaced as his hand briefly caught on the edge of the window. They were still aching, despite all the power Juushiro had pumped into healing them.

"Nothing good. Do you have any canned food I can borrow?" He asked and the substitute shinigami looked confused. Food was the big weakness of his plan, though. How much of the food stores meant to feed shinigami would still be intact? How much had there been to begin with? "I'm fleeing Soul Society." Starrk admitted and Ichigo's eyes widened. "It started at a party…" He told his story again, trying not to feel the pain of it. Ichigo's reaction surprised him, though.

"And they're hunting YOU? What the hell? That's fucking absurd!" Starrk blinked at the exclamation, the absolute outrage on Ichigo's face. "I'm going to give them a piece of my mind! This is crazy! And where's your boyfriend in all this? You did go to him, didn't you?"

"They can't help me." Starrk said and then mentally cursed as Ichigo immediately noticed his lapse.

"They? There's more than one of them?" He demanded and Starrk put a hand over his face. He hadn't meant to let that slip. "Why aren't they supporting you? Who are they?"

"Ichigo, I can't say. Please, stop asking." Starrk said, feeling exhausted to the bone. He just didn't have the energy to go into it and that was not his story to tell anyway. "It is their choice and I will not force them into the open. Please, I didn't come here for this." He couldn't help the stress in his voice. He was, without a doubt, in dire need of a quiet place to pass out. "I just want someone to know where I've gone. Please, don't tell anyone except Ukitake taichou or Kyoraku taichou, and only if they give you very good reason." Starrk wanted someone to know where he was at, just in case he was wrong and everything miraculously ironed itself out. "No one is hunting me yet, but I need to get out before they start… do you have any food I could borrow?" Not that he would be likely to return it. Ichigo scowled at him, but the scowl faded a bit as he registered his friends' utter exhaustion.

"I can get you some things. Just rest for a while, okay?" He said quietly and Starrk nodded tiredly before settling down onto the bed. He could close his eyes for a few moments, take a quick nap. He vaguely heard Ichigo moving around downstairs, the clink of cans, but his body quickly gave in to the need for rest. It seemed like no time at all passed before a gentle hand touched his shoulder. "Lupe? I've got some stuff here." Ichigo said quietly as Starrk pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his face. The teen had filled up a second backpack for him and Starrk took it gratefully.

"Thank you. Ichigo, I'm going to Los Noches." He said quietly and the teen's eyes widened in shock. "I remember how to make a garganta. Please, only tell Ukitake taichou or Kyoraku taichou. They're the only ones who know about my past." That was the reason he would give Ichigo, at least. The teen nodded, but there was a very resolved look on his face.

"I'm going to talk to Yamamoto about this. It's not fair and it's not right." He said firmly and Starrk sighed before laughing softly.

"At least give them a chance to order my arrest, first. Right now they don't even know I'm gone." He said warmly and Ichigo blushed slightly. "You don't want to be premature… again." He teased gently and the blush darkened before Ichigo scowled and slapped him on the shoulder. Lilinette was giggling in his mind at the joke.

"Oi! Get going. And if you see Grimmjow tell him he's an asshole." Ichigo said firmly and Starrk didn't have the heart to tell him that he knew the Sexta was dead. He'd asked Juushiro about it over tea and found out that the unconscious arrancar had been found by a cleanup team in Los Noches and been given konso. The same was true of Halibel. He was the last surviving Espada. At least a battle was unlikely, when he reached Los Noches.

"Later, Ichigo." He said quietly before departing, his new backpack in hand. It joined his old one as Starrk concentrated, ripping a hole in the fabric of reality. The distinctive energies of a garganta filled the air, but Starrk wasn't too worried about them being detected. Even if they were, no one except Juushiro and Shunsui would have any idea it could be him. The knowledge of how to open garganta's so easily had died with Aizen and the others… or so Soul Society thought.

Leaving the Living World behind, Starrk took his first step into the garganta. From here on out, he would be alone.

* * *

Starrk yawned, blinking his eyes and coming into focus on the familiar face above him.

"Are you going to sleep forever Starrk? Come on! We should go check out Szayel's lab." Lilinette demanded and Starrk wanted to ignore her. But he knew if he did, he would be asking for a kick. And demanifesting her was rather rude as well as dangerous for his eardrums. Lilinette was shrill when she was upset. "And you need to eat something! You haven't eaten anything since yesterday at lunch!" That reminded him of his stomach and Starrk grimaced as it growled. Unfortunately…

"I don't want anything." Actually, he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted eggs, over easy, with ketchup and toast. And cottage cheese. Yes, that sounded excellent. Starrk closed his eyes, just picturing it for a moment as he felt his mouth water. Then a foot covered in a knee high, soft leather boot impacted his head. "Lilinette!"

"You need to eat! I don't care if we don't have what you want. Up you lazy bastard! Up, up up!" Lilinette chivvied him to his feet and Starrk had to laugh. It was like he'd gone back in time.

It wasn't just Lilinette that made him feel that way. Starrk had discovered that his Espada wing was intact and largely untouched. Someone had clearly looked through it but finding nothing of interest, had moved on. Starrk's Espada uniforms were still waiting for him and with only a very soiled yukata to his name, he'd decided to wear them. They were familiar and comfortable so why not? Then he had settled in to some serious lounging on comfortable cushions. It was like he'd never left.

Of course, he did need to eat. Starrk sorted through his things before settling on a can of baked beans and some extremely old, slightly stale tea biscuits. The food stores of Los Noches were in better condition than he'd feared, holding plenty of canned items and bags of these biscuits. Some had become infested by weevils but some were still perfectly edible. Starrk thought the bug ridden ones might be fine, too. After all, wasn't it just more protein?

He was going to eat the good ones first, though. Forcing himself to go on, he dutifully chewed on his food as Lilinette watched him warily. He knew she thought he might just stop halfway through and she was right to think so. Despite the great hunger he was feeling he often wanted exactly what he wanted, or nothing at all. The strange pickiness was getting worse, not better. And some of the things he was craving were extremely strange. Pickled plums with lemon curd and sweet adzuki beans… that suddenly sounded appetizing and he licked his lips.

"You get the weirdest looks sometimes. Want another biscuit?" Lilinette offered him one and he took it with a sigh. "That thing in your belly is draining you Starrk. We really need to figure it out." She said warningly and he nodded.

"Although what I'll do about it…" That was the question. He was no specialist at healing kido and even if he was, healing himself for something so intricate would be difficult. At least, he assumed it was intricate. After Orihime's problems, though, Starrk thought it was a good bet. Lilinette nodded with a sigh.

For half the day, Starrk tried to sort through Szayel's lab. It was very rough going. The whole thing had been quite thoroughly trashed and all the computers were non-functional. That was no surprise… about the only thing still working in Los Noches was the plumbing. At least that did work, he would have been in dire straits without it.

The rest of the day was spent on his bankai. After he finished practicing Starrk stood in front of a mirror, admiring himself.

He had changed a great deal. When he took his bankai his clothing remained much the same, but he had fur on his lower arms and his lower legs. His hands were also furry on the backs, with thick black skin on the palms and fingers. He had black claws. They weren't fully retractable but when he deliberately extended them they became wicked, curving weapons. Starrk smiled as he admired them. This was how he'd torn his assailants apart with his bare hands.

Then his smile vanished as that thought abruptly brought back the pain. For one awful moment he felt the ropes on his body, the pain in his hands. Starrk put a hand against his mouth as his lunch threatened to come back up. Somehow, it stayed with him but the nausea pulsed through him as he breathed heavily. Then warm arms went around him from behind.

"Shhh. It's okay Starrk. It's okay." Lilinette. Starrk swallowed and nodded, closing his single eye. His other was covered by an eyepatch that matched hers. To his shock, he realized that he was still seeing but the angle was completely different.

"What…?" Starrk opened his eye, still aware of that peculiar Doppler vision. He realized quickly that he was seeing through Lilinette's eye. In his bankai, she became a deadly weapon. He was using that to good effect, practicing his skills by sparring against her. But this… "I… didn't notice. This is so strange." It was taking his mind away from his trauma, too. Lilinette laughed.

"That's an advanced part of your bankai! Having two perspectives will be REALLY useful on the battlefield, Starrk. But you'll have to learn to use it." She warned and he frowned. How could he ever get used to that? "It'll come easier than you think. Your mind is made to comprehend it."

"…Hm. Interesting." That was something he would really have to work on. "What else can I do?" He asked and she was not loathe to answer.

"You see those spots of you covered in fur? They're invulnerable. Nothing, and I mean nothing will get through that fur. Not even Yamamoto's fires could do it." She said and he blinked. "'Course, that ain't true of the rest of you. Just those spots." Starrk looked down at his arms. That would make it easy to block attacks, but his main body was completely free of fur. No help there. "You can summon me, you know that already, and I'm really strong. You can also call up your dopplegangers." She said and he looked at her wide eyed. "Try it! Try it right now."

"Doppleganger." Starrk said commandingly and grinned as he suddenly had two duplicates. He could command them easily, letting them move quasi-independently. "Lilinette, this is incredible!"

"Yeah, you've got a sweet bankai. I'm kind of mad at you, you know." She said and he blinked at her in surprise. "If you'd had this the first time I could have totally kicked Shiro-chan's ass! And I'm going to, if I get another try at it!"

"Mmm, good luck with that." Starrk honestly didn't think it was too likely, even with her bankai power. Lilinette was quite powerful but still not as strong as him and Juushiro was a taichou. She made a face at him and he smiled back. "At least it won't be laughable this time."

"Oi! I'll show you laughable, jerk face! Come on, let's practice some more!" She snarled before grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the room. Starrk went with her readily, chuckling.

Looking through Szayel's ruined files was hard work. He could afford to have some fun.

* * *

"Obaa-chan. I'm glad you agreed to see me on such short notice." Shunsui murmured as he took a seat. The woman across from him smiled as she poured him some tea.

"Anything for my darling grandson." She said as she sipped her tea. Shunsui picked up the cup, wishing it was sake, and took a careful sip. The tea was excellent but that was no surprise. His grandmother loved tea and used only the best.

Shunsui examined her for a moment, feeling a pain deep in his heart. His grandmother was quite old. She had been very powerful in her prime, with a bankai to her name, but her strength had faded over time. Sometimes it was like that… she had a hard time mustering the energy to make it to shikai now. Her bankai was just a faded memory and he vaguely wondered if that would ever be him.

Physically, his grandmother was a tiny, wizened woman with surprisingly black hair. He happened to know she didn't dye it, it was completely natural. She was wearing a lovely kimono of bright red with a gold phoenix pattern. It suited her quite well and matched the combs in her hair. They were gold with red jade, in the shape of seashells. Her eyes were a very familiar grey. They matched the ones he saw in the mirror every morning.

"Please, have a bite to eat. Botamochi, your favorite." She said encouragingly and his gaze dropped to the food on the table. It was true, he'd loved those when he was a small boy. He still liked them, although not as much. The memories were too bittersweet.

"Thank you." He murmured before taking one. "Have you heard of what happened to my nephew?" Iso had been the son of one of his brothers. Not that they were remotely close. Shunsui could hardly remember the boy, he'd hardly seen him outside of formal occasions. His grandmother sighed softly before picking up one of the tea biscuits she favored. It was orange and almond and he knew they were delicious.

"How could I not? Your brother has been baying for blood." She said but with the faintest touch of exasperation. She bit into the tea biscuit and her teeth were badly stained from centuries of tea. Shunsui felt a little queasy at the sight. "He should have followed Kuchiki taichou's example and nipped the thing in the bud. But it's too late now. What interest do you have? I know you owed the man a debt." She said and Shunsui nodded. "But there's nothing you can do."

"No, there isn't." He agreed. Despite his age he was still far too young to be a member of the Council. They were true elders, all of them former shinigami and mostly on par with the Soutaichou for age. "But you can, if you choose to." Although he wasn't entirely certain how much his grandmother could do. She was only one member of the Council, although she was the head of it and the most respected of the Clan elders. Her unwavering support had been both a boon and a curse, throughout his life. A boon because she'd saved him from all kinds of punishments but a curse because she'd flatly refused to consider someone else as his father's heir. She frowned at him, putting down the half-eaten cookie.

"Why would I do that? Admittedly, Iso-san was far from my favorite but he was my great-grandchild." She said and Shunsui sighed, looking into his tea.

"Obaa-chan… there's something I need to tell you about myself." He said before reaching into his robes for his sake. Ignoring the disapproving twist to her lips, he took a drink. He was going to need it. "It happened when I had just turned sixteen…" The story was still painful to repeat and didn't get better with retelling. Shunsui had to pause to fortify himself several times as he retold the painful past. When he was done, he just looked at her. Her grandmother was practically vibrating with rage and he braced himself for her reaction.

"You stupid child!" She moved with astonishing speed and a fist suddenly hit him in the chest, making him wince. There was a surprisingly amount of force behind it for such an old woman. "You silly little boy! Why didn't you come to me when this happened?!" She snapped and Shunsui suddenly blinked as he was soundly hugged. Then he realized, with a shock, that he had misread her anger. She hadn't been angry at him. She'd been angry _for_ him. "I would have gotten you help! Why didn't you come to me?" She demanded and he swallowed, putting his arms around her. She felt so fragile, her old body so light against his.

"After… after what father said, I couldn't face anyone. And mother… I just couldn't. I was so ashamed." He said, his voice husky with emotion. She sniffed, resting a hand against his hair. "Obaa-chan…" He pressed his face against her neck, feeling comforted by one of his family for the first time in centuries. They stayed that way for a moment before she slowly pulled away and resumed her place on her cushion.

"Shunsui… I never wanted to say this to you children, but perhaps that was a mistake. Your father, my son, was never a man I admired." She said as she picked up her teacup, taking a calming sip. Shunsui took another drink of his sake. "I loved him because he was my boy, but he was not a good man. He was intelligent but also arrogant, difficult and often cruel." She paused before sighing softly and looking down into her tea. "To be honest, when you were a boy, I was afraid you would grow up to be just like him. You idolized him so much and you were such an arrogant child… that seemed to change overnight. I suppose now I know why."

"Oh yes. That man humbled me most thoroughly." Shunsui said bleakly. She winced, reaching up to rub her forehead. "Obaa-san, it's more than that. Lupe is very dear to me." Shunsui swallowed, hard, before telling her the rest. "Juushiro has been my lover since our last year at the academy." His grandmother almost choked on her tea, her expression full of disbelief. "We included Lupe in our relationship, despite the dangers. He's a remarkable man… I'm sorry." He looked down into his tea as she shook he head, rubbing her throat this time.

"Kami! So all those women you… no. You did sleep with them, I got all the complaints. Ah, I see. You were overcompensating." She said shrewdly and Shunsui winced before nodding with a sigh. "Well, congratulations grandson. You fooled me completely. I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I said that." She said and he laughed softly, putting the sake away and reaching for his tea. "So you want me to take action for your lover." She summed it up and he nodded before speaking again.

"Please Obaa-san. If you love me, please do this for me. I'm going to go to Yamamoto soon. I'm going to come out." Shunsui said and she sighed, resting her head in her hand. He sympathized with her mental pain. This was a lot to have dropped on her at once. "Even if you can hamstring the Council, it would help." This was honestly going much better than he'd expected. His ideal scenario, in fact. Shunsui had been prepared to completely lose his grandmother's support today. He'd never imagined that she would be outraged on his behalf. But he still wasn't sure she would support him as he publicly announced his sexuality.

"I'm certain I can keep them debating themselves in circles for months, particularly if you add your relationship with this young man to your revelations." She said dryly and Shunsui felt a bit of hope. "You realize, though, that I am only one person. I likely cannot stop them from eventually making up their minds and it's quite likely you will suffer some consequences." He nodded immediately. He'd been aware of that reality before he'd come to visit her.

"Does that mean you will help?" He asked, hardly daring to hope. His grandmother was so old, she came from a generation who considered such things a mortal sin. She suddenly gave him a smile as she picked up her tea biscuit again.

"You know, Shunsui, I was not always an old woman. And once I had a rather effeminate younger brother whom we most carefully did not question about his comings and goings." She said lightly and Shunsui stared, shocked almost speechless. "He was also an idiot, but not a malicious one like your father. His death was quite absurd. Remind me to tell you the story someday… but yes, I will help you. You've always been my favorite grandson and I still would like to see you as the Clan Head." She said and he almost choked on his tea. That, still, after all this?! "You might be far too fond of sake but it's not like that's unusual around here. And I know you would lead us to great things."

"Obaa-chan…" Finally, all he could do was laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Really, what else was there to do?


	15. The Bitter Truth

Juushiro felt absolutely sick with nerves. He felt a warm hand on his back and looked into Shunsui's face, seeing the worry in those grey eyes. He smiled back, struggling to hide his trepidation for Shunsui's sake. It was a bit strange, really. Shunsui was taking the most risk but after his meeting with his grandmother, he'd gained a newfound confidence in his decision. Now it was Juushiro who was trying to stay calm.

"Yama-jii! It's so good to see you." Shunsui greeted their ultimate superior cheerfully. If there was any strain there, he didn't show it.

"Genryusai Sensai." Juushiro bowed slightly, not realizing he was clearly revealing his tension. Even someone who didn't know him well would have picked up on it and Yamamoto did know him well.

"It is good to see you too, Shunsui. Juushiro, are you well?" He asked, concern in that warm, old voice. Juushiro swallowed, looking down. "Is it about that boy from your unit?" The whole incident was already the talk of the Seireitei and opinions were bitterly divided. Most of Ukitake's unit were up in arms on Lupe's behalf but many others did not feel the same.

"Yes." He said softly, glancing at Shunsui. He just smiled back, letting him speak for now. "Sensai, we want to ask you to take direct action on his behalf."

"Yes, it's more than time for Soul Society to begin moving with the times, eh?" Shunsui said with a winning smile. It was hard to tell what Yamamoto was thinking. "To help with that, Juu and I have decided to come out about our relationship." He said it like it was the most natural thing in the world but Juushiro knew it had to be a minor bombshell. Yamamoto was alarmingly quiet.

"If you wish to relieve us of our duties, we understand." Juushiro said softly. It was quite possible that would happen.

"We know it must be a shock – " Shunsui said, slightly unnerved by Yamamoto's continuing silence. Then he suddenly chuckled, to their surprise.

"Shock? You really think so?" Yamamoto rumbled as Shunsui and Juushiro exchanged a confused glance. "Idiot child! I've known about your relationship practically from the day it started!" He said sternly and Shunsui stared as Juushiro put a hand over his mouth. "Have you forgotten that the Onmitsukido answers ultimately to me? Did you think they would be ignorant of such things? Yoruichi and Soi Fon have both held your secret for centuries!"

"Oh my kami." Juushiro whispered as Shunsui just looked stunned. All this time and Yamamoto had known? "You… you never…" He said and the old man shrugged just a bit.

"I have never much cared about such things, beyond the possibility of blackmail. But now you propose to bring it into the open?" Yamamoto's tone turned dark and Juushiro swallowed as Shunsui winced. "All for this man you've known for so little time? You will turn your lives upside down for him?"

"Yes, because he needs our help and he deserves our help. We don't want to be afraid forever." Shunsui said firmly and Juushiro knew that Lilinette's words on that had resonated with him. Because right now, they were afraid. The fear had gone down considerably when they hadn't lost the support of Shunsui's grandmother, but it was still there.

"And it's time for this, sensai. More and more plus souls are coming to us without the knowledge to keep such things to themselves. The Rukongai is moving with the times. There are at least two districts known for their immoral behavior." Juushiro said, blushing faintly. He'd never been to visit those districts – it wasn't the kind of thing a taichou did – but he knew Lupe had procured his toys there.

"Also, there is something else you should know about Lupe. He's the purified soul of the Primera Espada, Coyote Starrk." Shunsui said seriously and for the first time, Yamamoto's eyes widened with surprise. "He can manifest his zanpakuto and must be very close to bankai. Yama-jii, do we want to throw someone like that away?"

"He remembers almost nothing of his past as a hollow." Juushiro said as the Soutaichou digested that. "And he may be only the first purified arrancar we will see. The others might be more recognizable. And none of them will understand the code of silence." That was precisely what had gotten Lupe into trouble and after all the things he'd told them, they were sure any purified arrancar would have the same problem.

"You trouble me. But… ah!" Yamamoto sighed and for a moment, looked very old. "I hate to have to do this. I'd hoped to leave it to my successor. Is it too much to ask that one of you younglings could take care of this after I'm gone?" He sounded querulous and Shunsui couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh Yama-jii! You could live another thousand years." He said teasingly and the old man snorted.

"Not likely. Two hundred at the most." He said firmly and Juushiro blinked. He knew Yamamoto was very old – he'd been old when they were in the academy – but he was that certain of how long he could live? He had to be very old indeed. "But I suppose even that is too long to wait. Very well. If your grandmother can hold the Kyoraku clan off long enough, we should be able to rescue your man from his troubles. Then we can begin the process of making such attacks unacceptable. It will not be easy." Yamamoto warned and they both nodded. "Watch yourselves, children."

"We will." Shunsui said seriously and Juushiro nodded. It was unlikely someone would try to attack them as they had Lupe, but not impossible. Drugs would work on them as well as anyone and retaining collars could be made with a taichou's reiatsu in mind. "Thank you so much, Yama-jii." Again, it seemed that everything was working out. Juushiro smiled to himself at the thought.

They had secured the help of Shunsui's grandmother and Yamamoto. What could go wrong now?

* * *

"Finally found something with my name on it." Starrk settled onto a large piece of broken masonry as he unfolded the scrap of paper. It was very thin yet very long. "A timeline? Was Szayel giving presentations on me? Amusing."

"Well, you were kind of important. But you realize this means the rest of your records are totally under that rock you're sitting on." Lilinette said and Starrk glanced down at it. It was a big rock.

"Great. Well, I'll just have to hope they're not completely pancaked." Examining the timeline he nodded. "All my major life events. Oh, I like this, he noted when I achieved shikai and manifested you for the first time. All my injuries, too… oh kami. You told him about my naughty ouchie?"

"Hey, I had to! And the medics would've let him know anyway. They told everyone! Another one into Halibel's trap." Lilinette said and Starrk grimaced. That was too true. He'd gotten teased about it for a while.

"Hmm… broken arm, I remember that… naughty ouchie… terminated a pregnancy… wait, what?!" He backtracked to that particular portion of the timeline. The words did not change. "…What?"

"Okay, that's not yours. That's for Halibel or something." Lilinette said and Starrk swallowed as he looked over the timeline again.

"It has my name on it. And everything else seems to match." He bit his thumb, chewing on it as he kept looking at the paper. Lilinette snorted.

"Starrk, you're a guy. That's absurd." She said firmly. He bit his lip. She was right, he was most certainly a man. "You are a guy there right? Let me check – " He blinked as she grabbed the hem of his pants, then recoiled as she tried to pull out his hakama.

"Lilinette! Stop that." He snapped as she giggled. "Of course I'm a man. But this says I was pregnant." A terrible suspicion was beginning to gather in his mind. A buildup of reiatsu in his abdomen… nausea in the mornings… his increased appetite but odd pickiness and strange cravings… glancing down, he frowned at his belly. It was completely flat. "If this is a pregnancy it's nothing like a normal one. A reiatsu based pregnancy?" If what was involved was pure reiatsu that might explain why he was showing no physical signs. Lilinette was giving him a strange look.

"You don't really think this is serious? Starrk, you're a guy. Guys don't have babies. Period." She said firmly and he bit his lip. "I know it feels like something you were meant to do but why in HELL would Aizen have wanted you knocked up? Heck, if that timeline is right he already flushed one out of you!" That made him wince.

"I know you're right but… come on, help me. We need to unearth these records." If they were intact. Starrk prayed they were intact as he began to work on the stones. He had to take his bankai to shift the largest but with the boost to his strength, he and Lilinette were able to shift it. "Oh!"

"There's a hollow under it. Nice!" Lilinette said approvingly as Starrk lifted out folder after folder. But which one was his? "Here it is! Oh. Hope that wasn't important." She said as broken pieces of some piece of equipment fell out. A CD? Starrk wasn't certain but it didn't matter.

"None of the computers work anyway. Let's get this to my rooms." The folder was rather thick. Starrk swallowed, wondering what he would find inside its pages. Soon he was sitting on his cushions, reading through the history of his own creation.

They quickly found many surprises. Szayel had included his own thoughts on the matter and they were easier to read than the medical and genetic records. Starrk's eyes widened as he read over the rationale behind his existence.

… _Aizen-sama is quite concerned that royal blood may prove to be an unknown variable. Gin in particular would like to dismiss it as merely a relic of antiquated beliefs but Aizen is certain that the royal lineage possesses unusual properties. It has taken some time but I believe his conclusion is correct. The DNA he managed to collect is very unusual… it seems quite possible that this genetic marker may be an important factor to claiming the throne. If so, Aizen-sama will need a puppet King to hold the throne of heaven._

Starrk choked a little at that as Lilinette growled. Swallowing hard, he continued to read.

_I have fully isolated the DNA in question and completed very extensive research. The royal line is most interesting, genetically speaking. The active form of it only passes through the female line. Given that the noble houses mark their descent through the male line, that makes matters quite difficult. And it is more complicated than just that… if a female with the active form of the royal lineage mates with a man who is too low in reiatsu, the genetic marker will not be passed on. Fortunately, Aizen-sama already had a sample of the active form of royal genetic material. It was apparently taken from a composite hollow he created some time ago and belonged to a man named Kaien Shiba. With this DNA I will begin the next stage of my project…_

_Success! The child has been sufficiently matured and removed from the life-support equipment. Interestingly, he has been 'born' with a sword spirit and Aizen-sama has already made contact with it. He has yet to name the child, however. We must determine if the royal lineage is active. Splicing that piece of DNA into the two existing was a challenge. If it proves to be inactive, we will have to see what he wishes done with this sample._

_After extensive testing we have determined that the royal genetic code is fully active. The child has been named Coyote Starrk. His reiatsu is truly impressive and Aizen-sama is quite pleased. His passive personality, while unfortunate in some ways, is ideal for a royal puppet…_

"I am not a puppet!" Starrk bit off the words, feeling extremely offended. This was only Szayel's musings but he was quite sure the scientist's logic paralleled Aizen's. "No wonder he didn't get rid of me." From the perspective of a figurehead, his hollow persona must have seemed perfect. Of course, Aizen had probably known it might change when he got on the throne. He said that and Lilinette growled from her spot beside him.

"Yeah, but that would've been after he massacred the old one. You're not dumb Starrk. You wouldn't have given him any trouble." She said and he had to swallow. She was right. He'd always known how intelligent Aizen was… Starrk couldn't hope to outsmart him and even with the throne behind him, he would not have had anything like the hogyoku. "And if you did he could just make another and get rid of you."

"…" Starrk rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "So I'm royalty. So what? Let's try to find out how I could be pregnant." He said firmly, unwilling to be distracted by this. Clearly Aizen had kept more from Lilinette than either of them had suspected but they could worry about that later.

Unfortunately, the two things turned out to be intertwined. The first notes on the 'growth' in his body were sort of funny. Szayel clearly had no idea what it was. Then he'd figured it out, which was rather amusing. After consulting with Aizen they'd decided to purge it and very nearly killed him in the process. Starrk swallowed as he remembered.

"That time I was ill. They told me I'd accidentally contracted something in Szayel's lab." He whispered, remembering. "I was so sick… this was what caused it? But how?" He kept reading, his mind cushioned with shock.

… _It took a great deal of work, including the kidnapping and torture of a very high noble, but I believe I now have the solution. It seems to be a desperate measure for the continuation of the royal line… theoretically, if only a male of the line were alive the royal genetic legacy would end. However, it seems there is a way around that. Under very specific circumstances, a male of the royal line can procreate directly. It's partly triggered by the lack of any other members of the royal line in close proximity. Since only reiatsu is involved, it's in fact possible for a completely heterosexual man to conceive in this manner. Most interesting! Given that Starrk is the only member of the royal line in Los Noches, it's understandable that this facet of his heritage would be activated._

_We're very lucky we caught it so early, however. I just barely managed to remove the growing reiatsu without too badly disrupting his aura. Any later and any attempt to remove it would have been fatal. And letting him carry to term then removing the reiatsu cluster from his body would have been extremely difficult. According to the man we questioned, it would require a healer of incredible skill to do so while keeping the subject alive. The Royal healers are specifically trained to deal with this scenario. I'm glad I didn't have to experiment with it on Aizen's only son! Although that would have been fascinating, ahah. I've devised a reiastu shielding so this won't happen in the future. It will have to be renewed regularly, I'll see to it during his checkups._

"It must have expired a long time ago." Starrk murmured, feeling sick. "What will happen if the reiatsu is not removed from my body?" He kept searching through the notes and managed to find the answer a few paragraphs back. "Reiatsu poisoning? What does that mean?"

"…That's really bad Starrk. That'll kill you." Lilinette sounded subdued and Starrk swallowed as he began to understand. Then a thought occurred to him and he checked the timeline again.

"My first child… who would it have belonged to?" He murmured, trying to figure it out. "Kami, I was a bit of a slut wasn't I? Hmm… It could have been Gin or Grimmjow. Szayel said they caught it quickly, which narrows things." He couldn't have been pregnant more than a week or two, if Szayel's notes were right.

"Bet you a hundred yen it was Gin. Who knows if you could even get knocked up by an arrancar?" She said and Starrk frowned before shaking his head.

"If I couldn't get pregnant from a hollow the shield would have been almost unnecessary. Tosen wasn't interested and I wasn't very interested in Gin." That first time with him had been the only time. "Hm." For a brief moment, Starrk thought about that child. What would it have looked like? "It might have been beautiful." He whispered. It suddenly hurt, knowing that he'd lost a child without even knowing. Aizen had made that decision for him. It had probably been the right choice but it still hurt.

"Look, nevermind that. Starrk, you need to focus. You're way further than a couple weeks along now!" Lilinette sounded stressed and he bit his lip. She was absolutely right. When had his nausea started? Ah, yes, the time he'd gotten drunk and taken them both. How long ago had that been? Five months, roughly. If this kind of pregnancy had the same duration as a normal one he was very well along at this point. "If that Orihime chick couldn't get it out without killing you, no one can. What are you gonna do? Who's going to deliver it?"

"…" Starrk just stared at her helplessly, seeing the same feeling reflected in her face. "I… don't know." Who could deliver his child for him? Szayel was dead and he hadn't thought he could do it. "Unohana probably could but then she'd know what I am." There was no way a purified plus soul could have active royal blood. She would immediately try to find out why he was in this state and would easily detect that he was a construct. "…I don't know what to do." He whispered, feeling faint. He'd never thought it could be lethal. Starrk took a deep, gasping breath before he put his arms around Lilinette and held her close. She hugged him back, lending what comfort she could.

There was nothing more they could do.

* * *

Several days later.

"So have you thought of anything yet?" Lilinette asked as she draped herself over a nearby cushion. Starrk just swung his feet, staring blankly at the ceiling. "Starrk!" She reached over and rapped him sharply on the head, making him wince.

"You really want to know?" He asked and she scowled at him. "Fine… I've thought of just shooting myself. Quick and relatively painless." He said and she made a face.

"Okay, let me rephrase. Have you thought of anything that doesn't involve you dying?" There was a long pause as Starrk stared away, his gaze blank and his expression filled with quiet sorrow. "Oh man. We are so totally screwed." That made his lips twitch in unwilling humor.

"Yes, most definitely screwed." He said and Lilinette winced as she suddenly caught the gutter humor. "I've thought of making a try at breaking Aizen out." He said and she looked blank for a moment.

"Huh? Why would you do that? You can't stand him now!" She said and Starrk sighed, shrugging.

"It just seems like a good way to die with honor. On the other hand, it would give everyone the wrong impression. I really don't want Juushiro and Shunsui to remember me that way." As a crazed lunatic giving his life for another crazed lunatic. No, that wouldn't be good to put on his tombstone. "I've thought of turning myself in and begging them to deliver my child before they execute me." Starrk said with poignant sadness as Lilinette swallowed. "But I doubt they would honor my request. Aizen's grandchild and a scion of pure royal blood… no. I can't see them letting him or her live."

"Even if they did they'd probably put the kid in a lab somewhere." Lilinette muttered and Starrk winced. "And you might be in there too. So they can try and figure out how Aizen made you."

"Making constructs is hardly that impressive. Kurotsuchi can do it. But my active royal blood… I imagine they would be curious about that." Starrk said bleakly. "We could try and see if Orihime could deliver my child but…"

"Yeah, no way." Lilinette concluded and Starrk nodded. "Her power is kind of a blunt force instrument. You need some real subtlety here. She'd just kill you and erase the kid."

"Yes, I think so too." Starrk agreed sadly as Lilinette bit her lip. "So I think I'll just stay here. Maybe the reiatsu poisoning when the child dies won't be lethal. And if it becomes too painful, I always have my guns." He smiled at her and she sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eye.

"It's not fair." She said and his smile warmed as he sat up and offered her his arms. Lilinette sniffled again before settling against him, hugging him gently.

"No, it's not fair. But the world isn't fair sometimes." Starrk whispered as Lilinette buried her face against his chest. "Why don't we go practice our bankai? Give ourselves something to do." There was no hope for him and he wasn't going to pretend there was. But that didn't mean he had to give in to despair. In fact, Starrk was feeling strangely free. Lilinette pulled back and there was a wary look on her face.

"Starrk? You're getting kind of creepy. You feeling okay?" She asked and he couldn't help it. He laughed.

"For a dying man? I feel wonderful. Come on Lilinette, let's enjoy our life while we still have it." Starrk said with a grin before he surged to his feet. Lilinette looked even more alarmed and hesitated before shrugging and following him. She knew there was something very wrong with Starrk, but he had given up any hope of a future.

A strange reaction might be expected.

* * *

"Where in hell can he be?" Shunsui wondered as Juushiro felt tired.

The Onmitsukido was combing the Living world for Lupe and coming up completely empty. That was partly to be expected. Soi Fon had mentioned how difficult the task would be and told them how Lupe had detected one of her top men as a mere cadet. But still, they had anticipated finding something, some kind of trail. It was as though the young man had vanished into thin air.

"Hey!" That hail made them both turn in surprise. Ichigo was there, scowling at them. "Are you looking for Lupe?" He asked and they both exchanged a surprised glance.

"Yes. Have you seen him?" Juushiro said, suddenly hopeful. Ichigo's scowl increased.

"That depends on what you want him for. Are you going to be dragging him back so those bastards can punish him for something that wasn't his fault?" The substitute shinigami demanded and Shunsui smiled at him before shaking his head.

"No, things are really going rather well. Soutaichou Yamamoto has agreed to support us. Admittedly, something could go wrong – he will have to face a trial – but right now it appears that he will be acquitted on grounds of self-defense." Shunsui said and Ichigo's scowl lessened, replaced with relief.

"Oh good. I was going to go to Soul Society to protest but Kisuke said I should give them the chance to do the right thing first." He said and Juushiro smiled as Shunsui chuckled. "Lupe, he – he means a lot to me. We're not in a relationship or anything but he took my virginity." Ichigo admitted with a blush and Juushiro choked a bit as Shunsui looked blank with surprise.

"He did what?! He never mentioned that to us." Juushiro said, shocked and a touch upset. Although not too much. They were already sharing Lupe with each other, after all. And Lupe probably hadn't wanted to reveal Ichigo's inclinations to them, any more than he would have revealed them to Ichigo.

"Why would he – hey!" It was like a lightbulb going off over Ichigo's head. "You guys are the ones he's with! And… you're with each other?" Ichigo sounded a bit confused and Shunsui laughed.

"Yes, since our days at the Academy." He admitted easily. Now that they were coming into the open it didn't matter who knew. "Please, can you tell us where Lupe is? We really need to find him." He said more seriously and Ichigo nodded.

"Right. He's gone to Los Noches." He said and they both stared at him, shocked. "He remembered how to make a garganta. If you go to Kisuke, he's expecting you. His garganta maker is up and ready."

"Oh. Thank you." That did explain why no one had been able to find Lupe in the Living world. He'd left for Hueco Mundo. It seemed like a rather ominous choice, though, and Juushiro frowned as they shunpo'd away. Then he shook away the foreboding and smiled to himself.

Soon, they would find Lupe and bring him back home.


	16. Strange Meetings and Stranger Dilemmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Double update, yay! By the way, this fic will wind down after this. I had an idea for a sequel but I've got too many ideas on the go already. XD Enjoy!

Starrk sprawled on his father's throne and considered his limited future.

It was a hard thing, coming to grips with his own mortality. Resting his chin in his hand, Starrk thought of all the things he had experienced as a shinigami, good and bad. None of it seemed to matter very much anymore. The one thing he really regretted was that he'd never gotten to see Shunsui's bankai. Or Juushiro's, for that matter. What would they be like? His own was glorious.

Starrk smiled as he entertained himself with ideas of what their bankai's might be. Shunsui's shikai involved forcing his opponents to play childish games. Would his bankai follow the same theme or be quite the opposite? Starrk could imagine that his bankai might be the end of playing… and what of Juushiro? His shikai was the ability to redirect blasts of energy and send them back at the caster, but Starrk remembered the words of his incantation. Water and electricity… would those be involved in his bankai?

The last thing he was expecting was those two familiar, beloved reiatsu's to enter Los Noches. Even a week ago he would have been overjoyed. Now he felt nothing but a touch of idle curiosity and a melancholy sadness. Whatever they wanted, whatever outcome had been reached in Soul Society, it was too late for him.

Sighing, Starrk rested his chin on his hand and waited for them to find him. It wouldn't take long. He was right about that and soon Juushiro and Shunsui stood in front of him, in front of Aizen's old throne. Their eyes both widened as they took him in, wearing his full Espada uniform and sitting in his father's seat.

"Lupe?" Juushiro said hesitantly as Shunsui swallowed. Starrk wasn't sure if they were finally seeing the resemblance or just intimidated and worried by the display. Lifting his other hand he casually waved at them before closing his eyes.

"…Lupe, wake up!" Shunsui said in a commanding tone and Starrk involuntarily opened his eyes as Lilinette giggled. "We've come to return you to Soul Society. We told Yama-jii everything and he's agreed to support us against Central 46 and the nobles' council."

"Everything will be fine. Shunsui and I have decided to come forward." Juushiro said and Starrk sighed, closing his eyes again. This was just depressing. Why now, why like this?

"Although, you might want to change before you go back. We told Yama-jii about your history but it might be better not to rub it in." Shunsui said with a smile and Starrk finally moved. He sat upright before coming off the throne in a smooth, easy move. A strange impulse came to him and he smiled, gripping the hilt of his sword. Well, why not? And it would be a much better death than the one he'd been looking forward to. "Lupe?" They both sensed the sudden threat in the air and their hands rested on their swords as they separated slightly, moving with the ease of centuries of partnership. Starrk's smile warmed to see it.

"Ah, Shunsui, Juusiro… I love you both. Unfortunately, none of that matters anymore." He said with a laugh that carried just a trace of madness. "You see, I've been lying to you." He said candidly as he drew his sword. Against their will, still sensing that threat, they both drew their blades. Starrk almost enjoyed the shocked looks on their faces as he continued. "I'm not a purified soul. I never died. I'm actually a construct, created from the DNA of Aizen Sosuke, Hinamori Momo and a man named Shiba Kaien." To his surprise, Juushiro went a bit white at that. He'd known the man? "I was two years old when we fought. Just a child, hmm?" Starrk smiled at Shunsui, who swallowed at the expression. Was he looking like his father again? But then, he was in a very strange mood. "Aizen used his shikai to make everyone believe I was a hollow, including myself. He saved my life after you sliced me apart." Although now Starrk knew the true reason behind that. It still angered him. He was not a puppet, whatever Aizen might have thought.

"…Why are you telling us this?" Juushiro said softly, his voice full of a soft dread.

"Are you taking over Aizen's place?" Shunsui asked, his tone very serious. Starrk laughed. It was a strange, brittle sound.

"In all the time I have left? No, it would be a waste of effort." Starrk wasn't willing to spend the last few months of his life in some futile quest to save Aizen from the consequences of his ambition. Particularly after finding out his plans for him. He was still more than a little insulted. "You know, our fight was very fair. Shikai against shikai. But I still want to see your bankai." Starrk looked at Shunsui with a smile that actually made him take a step back. He couldn't know but his expression was nothing like Aizen's… his smile was wild, strange, hinting at the insanity that lay beneath. "Will you show me, Shunsui?"

"I would never want to hurt you… Lupe." The way Shunsui said his name made his heart ache. But it also angered him and he laughed, bitterly.

"You already have." The guilt that chased across Shunsui's face was amusing. He had no idea what Starrk was talking about, he only thought he did. But then, how could he know he'd accidentally sentenced the young construct to die? Or Juushiro had. He would never know for certain. "I think you will show me your bankai today…" Starrk paused, admiring the blade for a moment. He could see Lilinette in the surface, just for a moment. She was grinning at him, looking forward to finally having her rematch. Then he looked at the two taichou. "Loup garou." He said, his voice carrying easily through the throne room. "Bankai." The blade dissolved in blue sparkles.

Power swirled around him in a carefully controlled rush. When it finished, he was in his bankai. Starrk grinned at them, flashing his sharp fangs. Shunsui called out his shikai and Juushiro took his. The two shinigami with twin zanpakuto… that was one thing Starrk definitely did not have, not that he cared. Lilinette was just fine.

"You should probably use your bankai now. I have many unexpected and dangerous powers." Starrk warned them, hoping they would both use their bankai. That would be perfect. He would get to see them both and die in the way he wanted, a way that didn't seem quite so pathetic and useless.

"But there are two of us to one of you." Juushiro pointed out and that made Starrk laugh.

"Oh Juu! Weren't you the one who said there was two of me? Do you think that's changed?" He said mockingly before calling out. "Twin Wolf!" Lilinette materialized in a puff of dark smoke. She looked like a little girl werewolf, wearing her leathers and her body half covered in fur. Little wolf ears poked out of her light green hair and she grinned at the startled Juushiro, her fangs glinting in the bright light.

"Heya Shiro-chan! Long time no see! It's time for round two!" She extended her black claws and Starrk did the same. "Let's do this Starrk!"

"Go, Lilinette." He said easily and she launched herself forward, leaping like an animal. He did the exact same, flowing at Shunsui with tremendous grace and speed. Black claws clashed against black blades and Starrk grinned, savoring the joy of combat. The fact that it was against the man he loved didn't matter. He did not intend that Shunsui would be the one to die…

"Hey! Am I putting my legs into it now? Huh? Am I?" Lilinette taunted as she kicked out at Juushiro, balancing herself on her hands. Her feet were as wickedly clawed as her hands and he narrowly evaded them, letting them shred a piece of his uniform. "Not as easy like this, is it?"

_Want me to pull that trick Starrk?_ Lilinette asked, her voice bouncing in his head. Starrk didn't divert a single ounce of his concentration from Shunsui. He knew what the man could do and he was no one to be taken lightly. Starrk didn't want to win but he did want to see a bankai. If he failed, bankai to shikai, that would just be embarrassing.

_Go ahead._ Lilinette had mentioned a very nasty thing that could be done with Juushiro's shikai, some time ago. They had just been talking about how they would have done that battle a second time, if they had a chance. Knowing the full capabilities of their opponents gave them a massive advantage. Juushiro tried to use a binding kido on the child he was facing, not knowing that she could exert the full force of Starrk's reiatsu. It was far too low powered a spell and she shattered it easily before leaping to the side.

"Eat this old fart!" She yelled at him before calling up a ball of reiatsu. It acted just like a cero, a ball of bright blue energy that was identical to Starrk's power. It was nothing like the green power she used outside of his bankai. No, this was a force to be reckoned with. Juushiro responded to it as a serious attack, using his zanpakuto to redirect it back at her.

That was a mistake, and very nearly fatal to Shunsui. Lilinette had deliberately positioned herself with Juushiro's shikai in mind and as she leapt out of the way, the deadly blast of power very nearly hit the other shinigami. He just managed to flash step back, his eyes wide as that blue power reduced the wall beside them to rubble. Starrk and Lilinette both laughed and Shunsui's eyes narrowed as he glared at his opponent. Juushiro was horrified at what had almost occurred.

"Are you angry? Use that against me!" Starrk taunted, uncaring of his own fate. Rather, he embraced it. "Show me what you have, Shunsui!" His purpose in life had narrowed to this one thing. He would see Kyoraku's bankai before he died. A sword slashed his arm, above the fur, and Starrk grinned. So, Shunsui was getting the measure of his bankai.

"I think I see. You're invulnerable anywhere you have fur." Shunsui commented as they dueled back and forth. "But everywhere else is completely normal."

"Indeed. Although all my physical abilities are enhanced." Starrk agreed. "Lilinette is the same." She was catching Juushiro's swords on her furry arms. It helped that even now, the taichou wasn't willing to go full out on a child. Had he treated his own manifested zanpakuto so gently? Probably.

"Why are you fighting, Lupe? Why are you doing this?" Shunsui asked as blades clashed against claws. He sounded so reasonable… the use of his false name suddenly angered him and Starrk bared his fangs.

"Because I want to! Because I can!" He snarled as Shunsui attempted to use his shadow against him. But he knew the trick and had come up with an interesting counter… the blade came out of the shadow his foot was standing on, but his foot was no longer there. He lashed out from the side, hitting the flat side of the blade with the pad of his foot. That used the shadow against Shunsui and his own sword was torn out of his grip. Starrk leapt forward, driving him away from the blade and gripping the hilt himself. Then he grinned at the shinigami before yanking it out of the shadow… and tossing it back. Shunsui caught the sword, his eyes wide at the bizarre action. "Because my life is a joke and my future is nothing!" Starrk finished his angry, half-crazed speech before he attacked again.

"It doesn't have to be that way!" Shunsui was trying desperately to get through to him. "It doesn't matter, we still love you!" That hurt. It really did. But Starrk only shook his head.

"Love can't fix this." He said softly as Shunsui made a familiar spinning motion.

"Bushogoma!" The tornado enveloped him but Starrk was more than ready for that attack. He grinned, a half-crazed, feral expression before he called on another power of his bankai.

"Doppleganger." Two copies of himself appeared and they were both outside the tornado. They attacked Shunsui, completely soundlessly and gave Starrk more than enough time to break free of the tornado. One of them managed to knick Shunsui slightly before they were slashed apart and he looked at the cut, surprised. "Yes, they're real. Vastly less powerful than the real me, but real." They made excellent decoys and distractions. Shunsui turned his attention to him, smiling slightly.

"Interesting. But tell me, Lupe. Can they speak?" He asked lightly and Starrk turned down the corners of his lips as though he was unhappy. Inwardly, he was laughing.

_Yes, Shunsui, they can speak._ But he would save that for the proper time. For now he would let Shunsui think he'd learned something.

On the other side of the room, the battle between Lilinette and Juushiro was far more equal than the first one. Of course, the taichou would eventually have won… but Lilinette was pushing him hard and emotional upset could trigger his attacks. Seeing the two men he loved fighting each other and knowing that one of them, at least, seemed inclined to kill was very hard on him.

His distraction proved fatal. His attention wandered at a bad moment, when Starrk managed to raise some blood. Lilinette's claws raked down his back, sending blood flying and Juushiro went down hard. Just in time to see Starrk narrowly avoid a blow that could have decapitated him. It wouldn't have, Shunsui still didn't want to kill him, but the battle looked vicious. He began to cough just as a clawed foot landed beside his head, doing nothing but ruffling his white hair.

"Well? Ain't you getting up Shiro-chan?" Lilinette demanded as the coughing began to increase. "Oi! Seriously? Right now? You kidding me?" She reached down to grip his hair and yank him up, then grimaced as she saw the blood starting to ooze between his fingers. "Geez, you have the worst possible timing! How do you survive?"

"I… sometimes… wonder…" He gasped out as she sniffed, letting go of his head and plopping down beside him, taking a cross legged position. "Wait… aren't you…?" Wasn't she going to finish him off? Lilinette glanced at him, very little expression in her eye and face.

"Nah. Why would I do that? Starrk doesn't want you dead." She said and he stared at her before coughing again. It hurt so much to talk but he needed to know.

"Then why…?" He croaked out, trying to concentrate on the little girl. She didn't look at him, keeping her attention on the battle between Starrk and Shunsui. It was still raging fiercely although Shunsui was still refusing to use his bankai.

"You know what fey means, Shiro-chan?" She said and he shook his head. "It means, the way a man gets when he's looking at his death. And that's what's wrong with Starrk. No matter where he looks, he can't see nothin' but death." She said sadly as Juushiro's attack got worse. The coughing didn't seem to bother her. In fact, Lilinette was hardly noticing it. "Hey, Shiro-chan… if Kimono-chan kills Starrk, make sure to tell him Starrk was looking at death before he came." Lilinette said before glancing at the white haired man and noticing he had passed out. "Oh. Hope you heard that." It would be kinder to Shunsui, although he wouldn't understand.

"How do you move like that?" Shunsui asked his opponent at one point in the battle. He'd noticed something strange was going on… Starrk seemed to see things he shouldn't even know were there. He'd nearly managed a strike at the other man's back, coming through his shadow but Starrk had avoided him with remarkable ease.

"It's simple really." Starrk said calmly, reaching up to ghost a finger over his leather eye patch. It matched Lilinette's one perfectly. "I don't have one eye. I have two. And the other is over there." He pointed to Lilinette, who was watching them with interest. Shunsui glanced at the little girl, surprised.

"Isn't that confusing?" He asked as blades and claws clashed again. Starrk laughed.

"Very! I've been practicing with it constantly." He had been enjoying it, reveling in his newfound power. "It's fun when you get the hang of it." He remarked, almost not noticing as a slash opened on his shoulder, blood dripping down his white clothing. The pain registered but it was distant, unimportant. All that mattered was this moment in time, the exhilaration he was experiencing as he utilized his bankai to its fullest against one of the most powerful taichou of the Gotei 13. "Stop holding back! Use your bankai!" If he didn't… but Kyoraku smiled at him.

"No." He said simply and Starrk growled in irritation. The look in Shunsui's eyes… it reminded him of the first time they had fought. Regret, sadness. He needed Shunsui to fight harder and the only way he had was to push the man. Well, he would do that then!

"Doppleganger!" Starrk called before moving at his very fastest. The copies moved with him as he attempted to generate confusion, cause Shunsui to lose his grip on which of them was real.

What happened next was done absolutely perfectly. One of the copies remained soundless but the other made a small gasp, as if Starrk had made a mistake. Shunsui eliminated the silent one with a low powered attack and launched something similar on him before attacking the 'real' Starrk full force. Through Lilinette's eyes, Starrk saw the shock on his face as the copy dissolved easily. He laughed as Shunsui turned. It was already too late. A wicked grin crossed his face and Starrk knew that if he called the right color, Shunsui would be dead. It would be so easy.

So of course, he didn't do it.

"Green!" Shunsui's eyes went wide at that call. Neither of them had a single speck of green in their clothing. It minimized any damage they could take and Starrk struck with full force, not holding a single thing back. He didn't need to hold back… or so he thought. That was almost a miscalculation, because even with Shunsui's shikai crippling his blow, his claws bit deep. The slash went from Shunsui's shoulder to his hip and blood sprayed as the shinigami went down. Starrk landed beside him, looking back. Shunsui was gasping, blood on his lips. That strike had damaged his lungs. Starrk just looked at him for a moment, as the adrenaline slowly flushed out of his system. Had this really happened? Had he just won?

"Oh Shunsui." Starrk whispered as he knelt beside one of the men he loved, heedless of the blood. Shunsui was very tough and he might survive without help, but he might not too. Cloudy grey eyes met his and a small smile tugged on bloody lips.

"You… lied to me. They… can talk." Shunsui managed to say and Starrk chuckled.

"I never said they couldn't." He said and Shunsui smiled again. His breathing was weaker, hitching with a bubbling sound at the end. "Why didn't you use your bankai? Why did you let me win?" Shunsui had let him win. Not intentionally, exactly – he'd fought as hard as he could with his shikai – but Starrk already knew that power. He'd needed to use his bankai if he'd wanted to win. Shunsui closed his eyes for a moment and Starrk was afraid he wouldn't answer.

"I couldn't… kill you again…" He whispered and opened his eyes again. The warmth there… it pierced his heart. Starrk blinked back tears before giving Shunsui a small, forgiving smile.

"You already have." He said softly before gently taking Shunsui's hand and resting his other against the shinigami's chest. Healing power filled his hand as he began to mend the wound he had dealt. Without help it was touch and go, but with his power Shunsui would certainly recover. "But since you are a great fool I suppose we'll both have to live a bit longer." There was a weak chuckle and Starrk looked down at his lover.

"I knew… you wouldn't… let me die…" Shunsui said and Starrk curled his lip, pulling it away from sharp fangs.

"Stop trying to talk me out of it." He muttered and there was a pained laugh. "Just pass out, it would be easier." There was no reason for Shunsui to stay awake and suffering. It took a while but as Starrk healed him, breathing gradually evened out and became deeper. Glancing up, Starrk saw that Shunsui had lapsed into sleep. Or was it unconsciousness? It didn't really matter.

Shunsui and Juushiro would both survive. At the moment, that was all that mattered.

* * *

Starrk sipped a cup of tea, his guns sitting on the table beside him as he waited for Shunsui and Juushiro to wake up.

He was more worried about Juushiro than Shunsui. Kyoraku's wounds were mending nicely, with his healing to bolster his natural durability. Juushiro was quite another matter. Starrk had no idea how to treat one of his attacks and suspected there wasn't much to be done anyway. He'd just tried to keep the taichou warm, get him to eat and given him gentle healing infusions. Also, whenever Juushiro woke up he had to spend time assuring him that everything was fine, that he and Shunsui were both alive and would stay that way. Juushiro was always worried about them when he woke.

There was a loud, jaw cracking yawn and Starrk glanced over to see that Shunsui's eyes were open. He looked very comfortable for a moment, just savoring the warmth of the little nest of cushions Starrk had put together for them. Then his eyes flared wide as he remembered.

"Juu?" Shunsui pulled himself up, grimacing as the half-healed wounds pulled on him. He checked Juushiro over, waking the other shinigami. There was a soft murmur of voices and Starrk didn't bother trying to make it out, just sipping his tea. Then Lilinette walked into the room, carrying a plate of food.

"Hey, are they awake yet? They really should eat – oh yeah! Welcome back Kimono-chan." Lilinette said cheerfully and Starrk smiled. "I have some food but it really sucks! So do you want canned baked beans, canned creamed corn or biscuits with bugs in?" She tossed one of those biscuits to him and he caught it before looking at it in revulsion. "Oi, just eat it Starrk! Nothing will make you happy anyway."

"Not unless you have pickled garlic and rice." Starrk agreed before biting into the biscuit. The weevils were slightly crunchy. His lovers both looked a bit grossed out.

"I think I'll pass… Lupe, would you care to explain why you attacked us?" Shunsui asked and Starrk sighed, scratching his head for a moment as he tried to think of where to start. Then Lilinette took it out of his hands.

"Starrk's going potty in the head. I guess that's what happens when a guy finds out he's knocked up." Lilinette said cheerfully and Starrk stopped his scratching to stare at her.

"Lilinette! What the hell?" He protested as Shunsui smiled like he'd just heard a joke. Juushiro just looked confused. "Why did you just tell them like that?!"

"Well weren't you gonna tell them anyway? What's the problem?" She asked and he snarled at her.

"I was going to do it in my own time!" He'd planned to lead up to it, not just dump it right on them. Lilinette rolled her eyes before waving a hand dismissively.

"Oh geez, like we could wait for that. There's an ice age coming any minute now – hey!" She protested as he tried to dematerialize her. He actually fumbled it, he was so angry. "I'll blow your eardrums out Starrk! Don't you dare!"

"Get back in my head!" He roared before forcing her back into his mind. Then, true to her threat, she started to yell at him. "I have a gun and I know how to use it!" He threatened, picking it up and putting the business end of it to his temple. As he felt the cold metal against his skin, though, the little fight with Lilinette seemed to recede to unimportance. Her voice dimmed, becoming nothing but a background buzz as his hand tightened on the was only himself and this moment in time. The temptation towards self-destruction was suddenly overwhelming. It would be so easy…

"Lupe. Please put the gun down." Juushiro's soft voice penetrated the haze and Starrk blinked, turning his attention back outward to see they were both staring at him. Shunsui's eyes were wide and from the bit of sweat on his face, he'd realized how incredibly serious the situation was. Starrk blinked as he suddenly realized how selfish he was being. It was one thing to end his life, but right in front of them? What could be more cruel?

"I'm sorry." He said, lowering the gun. Then he became aware of Lilinette's terrified sobbing. "Oh Lilinette, I frightened you. I'm sorry." He murmured, cradling the gun in his arms like the child he would never hold. Shunsui cleared his throat and Starrk looked up as his love gave him a small smile.

"Perhaps you could tell us why you seem to be suicidal?" He asked and Starrk sighed, setting the gun on the table. Then he picked up his teacup, sitting back and taking a sip.

"It started with Shiba Kaien…" He carefully explained the royal blood and how it had enabled a conception. That got Juushiro to thinking, though.

"Wait. You fought us like that when you're pregnant with one of our's child? Lupe!" The look the white haired taichou gave him was severe and Starrk couldn't help but smile. It was a sad smile, though, befitting his frame of mind.

"That doesn't matter, Juushiro. You will never see it. It will never be born. Let me continue…" Then he explained the difficulties surrounding the birth and his own conclusions. Juushiro bit his lip as Shunsui frowned. "I have only a few months left to live." He said, resigned. He'd come to terms with his fate. It would have been nicer to see Shunsui's bankai and die in combat, but if he had to die slowly from reiatsu poisoning, that was life. "At least I have my guns." If it all became too painful he would end it. Juushiro swallowed but Shunsui's mind was still far away.

"What about Urahara Kisuke? Have you considered taking this to him?" He said and Starrk gave him a strange look.

"The man who owns the candy shop? What about him?" That was as far as his knowledge of Kisuke went. Shunsui stared at him as Juushiro choked, then snorted.

"Y-You managed to stay in the Living World and you never spoke to Kisuke?!" He said as Shunsui started to grin. Starrk frowned, wondering why that was important. "And… Aizen must have mentioned him! He created half the hogyoku! How could you not know about him?"

"Uh…" Starrk flushed at that, before speaking a touch defensively. "When I thought I was a hollow I didn't really listen to Aizen at all, expect when he ordered me to do things. If he mentioned this Urahara, I wasn't listening." That was actually quite likely. The number of meetings he'd slept through had been legion. "And Lilinette didn't mention him." He sent her a questioning feeling and she sent back a mental shrug.

_I remember Aizen mentioning him a few times but he wasn't for us, so I didn't pay much attention._ She said and Starrk frowned, turning his attention outwards. Juushiro was smiling now and Shunsui was grinning.

"Ah, well! Let us tell you a bit about Urahara…" Shunsui said before giving him a quick rundown of Kisuke's checkered history, with Juushiro helping. Starrk felt hope kindle in his heart for the first time in over a week. "If anyone other than Unohana can help you deliver your child, he's the one. And he can keep a secret, he's done it before for centuries."

"And you think he will?" Starrk mused. But if Shunsui and Juushiro both asked, likely he would. "I… you really think I might live?" Tears suddenly pricked his eyes and Shunsui tried to move, but his wound defeated him. It was Juushiro who gently took him in his arms, letting him quietly cry.

"We'll help you. Trust in us." He murmured and Starrk nodded, closing his eyes. Then there was a cough from the cushions.

"By the way, I have a question." Starrk looked up questioningly and Shunsui tilted his head at him. "Green?"

"Oh." Starrk smiled as he remembered and lifted a hand, palm up. "It was a joke." He said and Shunsui stared at him for a moment before laughing. The laughter rocked his body and made him wince a little, but he didn't stop.

"You are a sick man, Coyote Starrk." He said severely when the laughter was done and Starrk's smile warmed.

"You've been sleeping with me for months and you just now noticed this?" He said and Juushiro's laughter joined Shunsui's. "Do you need to go to the washroom? I can help you." Surely Shunsui did need it. He nodded, trying to sit up and wincing.

"I could use that..." Starrk smiled as he put an arm around one of the most important men in his life and helped him towards the bathroom.

Maybe there really was some hope for them.


	17. The Story of the Naughty Ouchie

"Well, this is quite boring." Shunsui commented. They were still waiting for his chest to fully heal. The delay wouldn't be too hard to explain… Los Noches was huge… but the injury would be rather difficult. It was better to just heal up before they went back to Soul Society. Starrk mumbled an affirmative as he tried to choke down another biscuit. Then he surreptitiously tried to hide the nasty thing in his teacup. Fortunately, Lilinette was playing a game of cat's cradle with Juushiro and didn't notice. "I know! Tell us one of your amazing sexual facts! You must have more you've been hiding from us." Shunsui said with a smile and Juushiro looked over, interested. Starrk winced as Lilinette spoke, not taking her eyes off the cat's cradle.

"You might wanna watch that Kimono-chan. I know all his secrets and some of them are pretty darn gross. Hey Starrk, tell them about the naughty ouchie!" She said before suddenly doing something complicated with her hands and stealing the threads away from Juushiro. "Heh, I win!"

"Excellently done! And yes, can you please tell us about the naughty ouchie?" Juushiro said with a smile as he ruffled Lilinette's hair. She giggled, accepting the gesture easily. Now that she had 'kicked his ass' they seemed to be getting along much better. Starrk sighed, resting his chin in his hand as he remembered.

"Hmm… did you know that if you take a man who's fully aroused, a well-placed strike from a whip will cure his condition?" Starrk said and there was silence from his two lovers. "By causing him to orgasm. It's a very interesting experience."

"…Please tell me you didn't enjoy that." Shunsui said, sounding slightly queasy. Starrk laughed, lying down on his cushion.

"At the moment it happened? It felt amazing. Five seconds later? It hurt like hell. And the next day, when I accepted the fact that I couldn't walk properly and finally took it to the medics… that was possibly the most embarrassing day of my life." Starrk groaned at the memory. "The girls were all snickering. I have never been so humiliated."

"Oh my kami!" Juushiro laughed as Shunsui shook his head with a smile. "Who did that to you?" He asked and Starrk smiled as he remembered.

"Halibel. Apparently, she liked to use her girls as bait for a trap… her fraccion told me I would satisfy them, or else. Well, I wasn't about to say no to three beautiful women who wanted my body." Starrk said easily as Shunsui grinned at the thought. "However, when I was exhausted and helpless, Halibel 'caught' us. That was when the bondage gear came out and I was too weak to fight her off. The cock whipping was the finale of the evening but there was quite a bit more."

"I think that was the most times he's ever cum in one night. By the way, if you work it right he can do like, six rounds." Lilinette put in and Starrk winced. "There's a reason everyone liked him."

"I can see how that would make him popular! Tell me, Lupe. Was there anyone you didn't sleep with?" Shunsui asked, sounding curious. Starrk shrugged.

"Among the Espada? Only Yammy and Zommari. Yammy… I overheard the Numeros discussing his skill. I don't know what 'beating my cervix like a club on a baby seal' means, exactly, but I decided to take a pass." It hadn't sounded like a compliment. Juushiro choked as Shunsui laughed. "And Zommari's fetish was too strange for me. I turned him down."

"From what you've said, you've engaged in bondage, foursomes and sexual torture. What could possibly be too strange for you?" Juushiro asked, which was an interesting question. Starrk grimaced, running a hand through his hair.

"Are you sure you want to know?" He asked as Lilinette giggled. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Juushiro nodded as Shunsui listened intently. "Absolutely sure? What has been heard cannot be unheard."

"Oh Lupe, it can't be that bad! Tell us, we're quite curious now." Shunsui urged him and Starrk smiled before shrugging.

"Don't say I didn't warn you. Did you know that some people are sexually aroused by organic waste?" He said candidly and there was a silence as they both digested that. The look on their faces as they understood what he was getting at was priceless.

"…Wait. You mean… crap? Shit?" Shunsui said as Juushiro winced. "I thought you said arrancar don't make waste. How…?"

"From the sewage system." Starrk supplied and they both looked ill. Not that he blamed them, he felt much the same way. "As I said, that was too weird for me. I was willing to try almost anything but that didn't make the cut." Even as an emotionless, uncaring arrancar the thought of playing with other people's crap hadn't done a thing for him.

"Did Aizen know about this?" Juushiro asked and Starrk honestly had no idea. He glanced at Lilinette, who shook her head.

"Nah. After the whole thing with Halibel he only wanted to know if something went horribly wrong. I think he was starting to get mentally scarred from the stories I was telling him." She said with a grin and Shunsui laughed as Starrk and Juushiro smiled. The thought of Aizen suffering mental scarring was rather funny. "I kinda wish you'd taken Zommari up on that. Then I'd've had to tell him. He mighta stroked out! The winter war would never have happened!"

"The only sacrifice being my sanity? Thanks." Starrk said sourly and she giggled.

"Well, I'm glad you said no to that one. If not I'm afraid I would be rethinking this relationship." Shunsui said with mock seriousness and Starrk growled at him playfully.

"I have a bun in the oven, you don't get to rethink this." He said firmly and they both laughed. "Is there anything else to eat? I'm still hungry." That was a mistake because it caused Lilinette to notice his half-eaten biscuit.

"That's because you didn't eat your food! Eat it Starrk! Eat it!" She grabbed the biscuit and when he tried to protest, she shoved it in his mouth. But it had become soggy from the remaining tea in the cup and with the weevils… Starrk suddenly gagged as violent nausea tore through him. Spitting out the biscuit he ran for the bathroom, just barely making it in time to lose his lunch. It hadn't tasted good going down and it tasted even worse coming up. "Oh geeze. We need to get him back to Soul Society just so he can eat something. This can't be good for the kid." Starrk wanted to curse her but he was too busy keeping his head over the toilet.

"We should be able to leave tomorrow." Shunsui pulled back his uniform a bit to examine the cut there. "Yes, it's really not too bad. Everyone will notice but I can pass it off as a minor wound and kami knows there might still be traps in here." Starrk looked up as he felt a warm hand on his back and smiled as Juushiro helped him stand. Rubbing his mouth, he let the white haired taichou help him into the room so he could collapse on his cushions.

"I know I'll have to stand trial, but I'm really looking forward to it. Some sushi would really hit the spot right now." He said with a sigh. "Yes… some salmon roe sushi, with plenty of wasabi… and a cup of miso soup." He could almost taste it. The salty fish roe over the sweet sushi rice and the incredible bite of the wasabi… his mouth was watering. Lilinette groaned.

"He's so creepy when he does that! Go to sleep Starrk. Hey, Shiro-chan, I know shinigami don't manifest their zanpakuto around other people but we all love each other, right?" She said as Juushiro blinked at her. "Can you manifest yours? I heard they're little kids an' I want to play tag or something!" Juushiro's eyes went vague for a moment as he turned his attention inwards. Then he smiled at the little girl zanpakuto.

"They say they would love to. Just give me a moment." He sat down on the cushions and entered Jinzen, concentrating on manifesting part of his soul. Soon the two little twin boys appeared and Lilinette giggled as they began engaging in a spirited game of chase the girl. Starrk smiled as he watched them run out of the room before dropping his head. He really was tired now and his stomach didn't feel too great.

Closing his eyes, he let himself rest.

* * *

Starrk took a bite of his lunch, feeling a deep, hedonistic pleasure. For the first time in a long time, he was eating something he genuinely wanted. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The texture of the bread, the deliciously heavy peanut butter, the sweet hit of the strawberry jam… it all added together to form a sensation of absolute bliss.

_Okay, you are totally creeping me out now._ Starrk chuckled as he took another bite, still savoring it. _It's just a sandwich. It's not nirvana._

"At the moment, it feels like it. Mmm." Starrk swallowed before glancing around. "I wonder when they'll be done?" He murmured. He was waiting for Shunsui and Juushiro to finish bringing Urahara Kisuke up to speed. They'd brought the entire contents of Szayel's folder on him, which the man was currently perusing. Jinta had made him the sandwich, which he was very grateful for. It was most definitely hitting the spot.

His trial was over and done with. As expected, he had been acquitted of all charges on the grounds of self-defence. It had definitely helped that the Kyoraku clan had been kept busy by Shunsui's grandmother. She'd done very good work there, enlisting several other elders who either disliked Iso's father or had some other stake in the matter. Apparently, Shunsui wasn't the only member of his clan with such inclinations. He had no idea who the others were but given the odd allies they had found, it could be safely assumed there were more. Not the elders themselves, but likely a beloved son, daughter or grandchild.

That had left the two other noble clans involved, but they were both fairly minor. Yamamoto had managed to intimidate one into not interfering, and the last had been left with no backing. The trial had been relatively fair from that point onwards. Starrk was up for promotion now, due to his achievement of bankai. He hadn't wanted to reveal that but Shunsui and Juushiro had both insisted. There were no fukutaichou spots, so he would undoubtedly be made a seated officer in a different Division. Ukitake's was already full, but several of the others had openings.

Normally, that would have saddened him greatly, but with everything in the open Starrk had moved in with Shunsui and Juushiro permanently. He smiled as he thought about that, finishing off the last bit of his sandwich. He savored it, licking away some stray peanut butter from his fingers. Then a door opened and he looked up from his empty plate.

"Lupe-san! It's a pleasure to finally meet you." A man who could only be Urahara Kisuke said with a smile. The hat was interesting and so were the wooden clogs. Starrk rose from his seat, bowing slightly. "Or should I call you Starrk-san?"

"Lupe, please. My history is not that widely known." He said easily. Yamamoto knew and the other taichou had been briefed to look for purified arrancar. Starrk wondered if they would find any. He wasn't actually a purified soul so perhaps it was impossible. Kisuke smiled at him and Starrk had the distinct feeling this man was much smarter than him.

"You know, I'd wondered why the shinigami representative had never stopped by to see me. Now I suppose I know why." He said lightly and Starrk chuckled. "Hmm?"

"You're dead wrong." He said, amused. "I simply didn't know who you were and I heard through the grapevine that dealing with you was quite a pain in the ass." He grinned as Kisuke pushed back his hat, looking both amused and a touch offended. "And your prices were too expensive. So I went on in blissful ignorance." That made Urahara laugh.

"Oh my. Well, please come with me. I can't wait to examine you!" He said cheerfully and Starrk went. Soon he was disrobing, except for his underthings, and lying down on an examination table. Starrk closed his eyes and tried to relax as various instruments were run over him. "Yes, most definitely a construct. It's not obvious to a cursory scan – I would venture to say you were created in the old fashioned way, initially – but I can see many modifications, particularly in the durability area." Kisuke commented as Shunsui and Juushiro both watched. "Multiple redundancies and kido locks… I imagine you could continue to fight with wounds that most shinigami would find incapacitating."

"Hm, that explains how he was able to fight after I stabbed him through the back. I had wondered." Shunsui mused and Starrk grimaced at the reminder.

"It hurt like hell, just so you know." That had definitely been among the least favorite experiences of his life. "But you did miss my spine. I'd have been in trouble if you hadn't." There were limits. Urahara chuckled as he continued his examination.

"Yes, I imagine that would be troublesome… hmm, your reiryoku levels are really quite absurd. You seemed to have inherited all of Aizen's strength, but enhanced by the active royal blood." He said and Starrk nodded, unsurprised. "You knew that?"

"Of course. When I fought Shunsui the first time, I wasn't using cero. I was using raw reiatsu blasts, cast without a word. You know what that means." He said and Kisuke frowned before nodding. Only someone with truly extravagant power could do such a thing. "What about the child?" That was what truly concerned him. Urahara didn't say anything for a long moment, just examining his instruments.

"I'll need to go over Szayel's notes to make sure I'm interpreting this correctly." He finally said and Starrk chewed his lip, wondering what that meant. "But if I'm reading this correctly, you don't have one reiatsu signature… you have two."

"Two?" Juushiro said, startled and hopeful at the same time. "Twins?" He questioned as Starrk swallowed. He wasn't sure he liked that. Would it make the birth more difficult? Urahara nodded, his expression serious.

"Yes. And from these signatures, there's one from each of you." He said and Shunsui chuckled as Juushiro looked extremely happy. "This might complicate the birth." That drained the happiness out of the room as Starrk spoke.

"Will you be able to safely deliver them?" He asked quietly, meeting Kisuke's eyes. "I don't mind giving my life if the children will live." If they weren't delivered at all, he would surely die. He would happily accept death if it meant the babies could come into the world. Urahara smiled slightly as Juushiro froze and Shunsui's lips tightened.

"I think we'll be able to save you, Lupe-san. Remember, we do have Orihime. She can't heal you when the children are inside you but as soon as they're extracted, her power will be able to heal the damage to your aura." He said and Starrk blinked at the thought before relaxing slightly. That seemed to relieve Shunsui and Juushiro as well. "But I have many more tests to run. The reiatsu web feeding the children is incredibly tangled and delicate. I think it must be cut apart and that will be what causes the problems…" He mused as he went back to his scans. Soon Tessai had joined them and Starrk let himself relax. He was very familiar with this sort of thing, after all the time he'd spent in Szayel's lab.

He felt like he was in good hands.

* * *

"Is he going to make it?" Juushiro murmured, looking at the door to the room that held Lupe and his precious cargo. Shunsui put an arm around him, holding him close.

"I'm sure he will." He said comfortingly. This was the day Urahara had picked to deliver the children. The reiatsu signatures were fully formed and pulsing slightly, which seemed to be an indication that they were ready to exit. Lupe had reported an uncomfortable feeling of fullness and an instinctive desire to 'shove' the power out of him, which also indicated it was time. So now Kisuke, Tessai and Orihime were all doing their best to bring the children into the world and preserve Lupe's life.

They both looked up in surprise as they heard a high, thin cry. The sound of an outraged infant. Then there was a second scream, every bit as vigorous as the first. Juushiro desperately wanted to go see them but he held back. Now they would be trying to save Lupe's life.

It seemed to take forever. He was chewing on his thumbnail at the tension when the door finally opened. Kisuke was there and he was smiling. Juushiro sagged a bit in relief at that sight as Shunsui breathed a sigh of pure relief.

"You have two healthy girls! Did you want to see them?" He asked and they needed no other invitation. Lupe was there, awake and covered in sweat. He was being dried off by Tessai as Orihime held one of the babies, beaming. There was no obvious sign of the 'labor' on him, but they could both tell his reiatsu was extremely drained. That had clearly taken a lot out of the young construct. "I would recommend not doing this again." Urahara said quietly and they both looked at the children. Lupe had the other one cradled in his arms "I don't want to alarm you, but we came very close to losing him. Next time would probably be better but since Orihime's also leaving for University…"

"I see what you mean." Shunsui replied as Juushiro took the baby from Orihime, beaming. She was a tiny girl with a fuzz of jet black hair. Her eyes, when she opened them, were a warm brown. "I think that one's yours." He said with a smile before looking at the one in Lupe's arms. She was rooting around as if she wanted to nurse, but that was something her 'mother' absolutely couldn't do. "And that looks like mine." She had warm brown hair and her eyes were a soft grey. Lupe chuckled softly as he held her close. "They both look very healthy." They were both well-sized, to his eyes. And he had many younger siblings as well as countless nieces and nephews.

"Oh yes." Lupe chuckled, gently pulling his daughter away. She seemed determined to try to suckle. "Do we have any – ah, thank you." Tessai handed him a bottle and he hesitated a moment. "Uh… I've never…?" Shunsui laughed and showed him the proper feeding technique for an infant.

"Not that I did this very often, but I did observe our nannies many times." He said cheerfully and Lupe nodded with a small smile. His daughter immediately started to suckle vigorously, quite hungry from the transition from potential to flesh. "Are you fine with the name?"

"Of course. Kyoraku Amiko." Lupe smiled down at his daughter and Shunsui gently put an arm around him. That name meant a great deal to him. It had once belonged to his older sister, who had died much too young. "And Ukitake Netta." They both watched as Lupe concentrated and Lilinette suddenly popped into existence. She giggled, running up to her namesake.

"Aw Starrk, that's awesome! I love you guys." She said before hugging Juushiro. He smiled, putting an arm around her as he held little Netta. She seemed to be more interested in sleeping than eating.

"I was wondering. How are you going to explain the children?" Kisuke asked curiously and Shunsui smiled as he explained.

"Now that we're all in the open, we're adopting! A dream we've had for a very long time." He said as Juushiro smiled at his child, enchanted by the infant. "Orphanages in the Rukongai would never ask a taichou to fill out paperwork, not that they have much to begin with. We've told everyone about our plans. Juu's family is looking forward to seeing them! My own is a bit, mm, less enthusiastic but my grandmother is insisting we have a party anyway." Shunsui was a bit bemused by it all and Lupe chuckled tiredly.

"The weak point to that story is the children themselves. Reiryoku doesn't always breed true but with active royal blood, you can be certain it will in this case." Kisuke observed and Shunsui grimaced as Juushiro nodded. "Two random infants from the Rukongai would never have those kind of power levels."

"But it will take time for it to show. Hopefully by then, no one will care." Lupe said before yawning. "But… it's another argument against having more… Shunsui, could you take her please?" He asked and Shunsui smiled as he claimed little Amiko. "I would like to rest. So drained…"

"Of course. How are you feeling?" He asked, concerned. Lupe didn't answer, already dropping off, but Lilinette was more than willing to speak for him.

"Like someone used him for a piñata and then sucked all his life out. Don't worry, he's had worse, he'll be fine. Y'know, I wonder what Aizen would think if he knew he's a granddad? Or Hinamori?" Lilinette giggled at the idea. "She doesn't even know about Starrk! That'd be awesome."

"Not really." Juushiro could only imagine poor Momo's reaction. She might eventually be thrilled but at first she would certainly feel violated that Aizen had used her in that way. "Let's take them out of the room and let him sleep." The children were quiet right now, but that might not last.

Lupe needed his rest.


	18. Fin

The various taichou handled the new rules about what would and not be tolerated in pretty much an identical manner… a lecture and warning to the troops. And they meant it. Very few of the higher ranks were really prejudiced against homosexuals – they were older and experienced in the ways of the world, particularly the Living World – and they all respected Kyoraku and Ukitake, however they might feel about Lupe. So they intended to enforce the new edicts to the best of their abilities.

The one thing that varied, though, was the content of the speeches. And some of it was very amusing.

"This is a drag, but I have to talk to you fuckers." Zaraki scratched under his eye patch before suddenly grinning. It was a bit maniacal. "So! None of you guys were involved in the other shit so I figure we're good, but I'll say it anyway. If I catch anyone picking on someone because he's a fag, I'll kill him myself. You got it?" There was a chorus of agreement from his waiting troops. Some, like Yumichika, just looked indifferent. He wasn't gay but some had made the fatal mistake of assuming so, in the past. "Good. Like I said, I figure we won't have any problems. I mean, shit, we've already got a goat fucker in the audience." There was a laugh and a bit of jostling of one particular shinigami.

"It was just too much sake! Why must you always bring up my shame?" The man lamented, which only led to a more merciless ribbing. The meeting, if you could call it that, broke up after that. Kenpachi had only refused to take Lupe to begin with due to laziness. He'd been well aware of what would happen and hadn't wanted to deal with the paperwork. But he'd never been worried about his own men.

The nature of the Eleventh was to do what they wanted, when they wanted. They didn't care much about such things.

* * *

Starrk smiled to himself as he played idly with the hilt of his sword.

He was at the training ground for the Sixth Division. Byakuya had a spot for a Fourth Seat open and Starrk had decided to take his offer. Kenpachi had offered him a spot too – apparently, one of his seats was permanently empty due to Yumichika's choice of spot – but after a quiet conversation with Ikkaku and Yumichika, Starrk had declined. Not because of any potential problems about his sexuality but because his shikai was most emphatically a distance weapon. Apparently, it was an unwritten rule that all members of the Eleventh were supposed to have melee weapons. Starrk could fake that if he chose – twin sword did work well – but it would cripple his power too much.

However, there was a problem. His rapid advancement was causing some very unpleasant rumors that he was essentially 'sleeping his way' to the top. It was pure jealousy, but a few had gone so far as to suggest that his bankai was fakery. Starrk thought that was absurd but he did sort of understand where they were coming from. It was also absurd that someone as young as he could have any kind of bankai. Even Hitsugaya had taken longer and no one knew about his history as Aizen's Primera.

So to start off his career in the Sixth, he was going to demonstrate his skills on Renji. Kuchiki taichou thought that was more than fair, since Renji was relatively new to his bankai. Starrk was newer, but he didn't have to win. He just had to prove to everyone that his power was real and profound.

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" Renji grinned and Starrk's smile widened as he drew his sword.

"I could ask you the same thing. Scatter, Lilinette." He said easily, calling on his shikai. Renji also called on his.

"Howl, Zabimaru!" Then Starrk began employing his guns. To his annoyance, he found that Renji could use Zabimaru to block the blasts. The extending zanpakuto was uniquely suited to the task. "Twin sword!" The guns morphed into swords and the battle was on slightly better footing. He raised a few gashes on Renji, and was slashed a few times himself, before the redhead suddenly disengaged.

"Hihio, Zabimaru!" He called and Starrk's eyes went wide as he saw the bone bankai for the first time. Terrifyingly, it was coming right for him. He could have dodged but his eyes narrowed as he summoned the power of his bankai.

There was a burst of power and the watching shinigami murmured, trying to see what was happening. Then there was disbelief in the watchers as they saw Starrk in his bankai form. His feet were planted firmly on the ground, digging into the hard soil of the practice yard as he held back the fangs that were trying to impale him with simple force. Renji looked stunned as he saw what had happened.

"Twin wolf." Starrk growled as he struggled against Zabimaru. Lilinette appeared in a flash and laughed wickedly as she leapt towards Renji. He saw what was happening just a touch too late and his unexpected opponent kicked him in the belly and sent him flying. Zabimaru pulled back and Starrk managed to let go before he could be yanked along. Renji was dealing with Lilinette well but that split his attention and Starrk grinned as he cast an entrapping kido. It succeeded but then Zabimaru began charging a red light and Starrk's eyes went wide as he called on more kido.

"Red flame cannon!" He pumped every bit of power he could into it, given that his power was partially sealed to keep this somewhat safe. The two powers exploded and Starrk's eye narrowed as he tried to use the dust for cover, sneaking up on Renji.

He managed it, although only at the cost of Lilinette's defeat. She vanished into his inner world as Starrk leapt. His claws clashed with bone as the battle continued on a close combat basis. Starrk could see the sweat on his opponents face and grinned, revealing his fangs. He was actually having fun with this!

Two bankai wielders tangling was certainly entertaining for the spectators. It was very rare to see a duel between two taichou-level opponents. More dust flew into the air as Starrk tossed off further kidos. He was saving doppleganger for a good moment.

A moment that came after he thought Renji was defeated. Starrk managed, through a combination of kido and the strength of his bankai, to shatter Zabimaru. He thought that was it. But Renji grinned as he called on the final power of his bankai. Starrk's eyes went wide as razor sharp bones flew towards him.

"Doppleganger!" The two copies appeared. They couldn't really do much about the assault but they could absorb many of the blows before they vanished. Starrk used his furry arms to good effect, blocking most of the rest. Two still slammed home, punching into his body. Not too deeply thanks to the power limiters, but painful. Then Starrk leapt at his startled opponent.

"I'm badly hurt, but you're dead." He said as he pressed a taloned hand against Renji's throat. The other man was scowling at him.

"If it weren't for the limiters, you'd be worse than hurt!" He said and Starrk tilted his head before looking down at himself. Blood was trickling down his body but judging from the angles…

"No. Even if they had gone in fully, I would still be alive and able to move. My bankai enhances my endurance." That was true although the kido locks and redundancies Szayel had built into him had a lot to do with it. "I'm fairly sure I've won." Although that wasn't up to him. He glanced towards Byakuya, who was watching the bout from the sidelines. He nodded, his grey eyes cool and thoughtful.

"You have the victory." He allowed and Starrk nodded before removing his hand and reaching down to painfully extract the pieces of Zabimaru. He hissed as Renji sat up, mumbling something and rubbing his throat. A medic from the Fourth hurried to attend him and Starrk sighed as he felt the healing power touch him. He might have won, but he was far more battered than Renji.

"If you're that powerful, shouldn't you be the fukutaichou?" An anonymous voice called and Renji glared as he tried to find the speaker. Starrk sighed, honestly wishing he hadn't been forced to display his power so publicly. Fortunately, Byakuya took care of that.

"Absurd. He has never been a seated officer. He must move up the ranks properly to learn his duties." He said firmly and there were a few murmurs and nods in the ranks. "This spar is over." The crowd began dispersing, talking back and forth about what they had seen. At least this would put some of the rumors to rest. Starrk sealed up his bankai, flinching slightly at the pain. Then he quickly left to go see his children.

He had the rest of the day off. He was going to use it.

* * *

"Oh kami they are so cute!" Orihime cooed over the babies as Starrk smiled with parental pride. Ichigo was holding little Netta while Starrk had Amiko. Netta was sucking her thumb and looking around alertly as Amiko slept.

"They are beyond cute." Keigo agreed as Uryu adjusted his glasses, looking at the girls curiously.

They were having a 'baby shower' in the Living World to celebrate the children. Everyone knew that Starrk was the 'mother' here, and that was rather pleasant for him. Shunsui and Juushiro weren't there yet, although they would be arriving soon. Starrk didn't expect they would enjoy it too much… they were so much older than his friends here… but it wouldn't be a long party. This was a school night.

"I love the cake. What is the flavor?" Starrk asked curiously as he took another bite. It was… different. He honestly liked the texture but he thought many people wouldn't. It was strangely rubbery. Orihime looked very happy at his compliment.

"It's a beet cake with raspberry jelly and bean curd!" She said and Starrk blinked. That was… odd, to say the least. Then he took another bite.

"Well, I like it." He was definitely enjoying it. Everyone else just looked at him like he was crazy.

_Yeah, that's weird. You better check with Kisuke to make sure that shield he made for you is working. You sure don't need to get knocked up again._ Lilinette advised and Starrk smiled at her. He was sure the shield was working. His last pregnancy had started with nausea long before the food cravings. No, he just had odd tastes.

Then Shunsui and Juushiro both arrived. They both got a chance to try the cake and Starrk smiled at the look on Shunsui's face. His mate swallowed hard before managing to smile and say something that sounded like a compliment.

"It's… quite unusual! I can honestly say that in a thousand years, I've never tasted anything like it." He said with absolute sincerity and Starrk grinned as Orihime beamed. To his eyes, Shunsui was waiting for a moment she wasn't looking to dispose of it. Starrk helped him out, stealing the piece of cake as soon as Orihime happened to look away. "…Lupe?" Shunsui said, taken aback, as Juushiro nibbled his piece before wincing and setting it down.

"I like them." He said before eating the piece of cake. Both his lovers gave him a strange look and he smiled. "Don't worry, I'm not pregnant. No nausea." And Lilinette hadn't mentioned any buildup of reiastu. Now that they knew the signs it wouldn't catch them by surprise.

"Could you even get pregnant again so quickly… oh, how adorable!" They both admired little Amiko. Orihime and Ishida had gotten her into one of the gifts, a beautiful baby dress that Uryuu had made for her. It was purple velvet and looked absolutely adorable on the little baby.

"It's too bad you won't be the shinigami here anymore. I was feeling really good about giving Karakura town to you." Ichigo said, a bit sadly. Starrk nodded, feeling a matching sadness. He was actually starting to enjoy living here. There were so many interesting people and things to do, in Karakura town. But…

"It's just not practical with the children." They were going to be getting a nanny but Starrk still wanted to be with them as often as possible. Spending days away in the Living World just wouldn't do. "And Karakura town is part of the Thirteenth's responsibility, and even if I weren't being promoted I would need a transfer." Ichigo gave him a puzzled look and Starrk elaborated. "Since homosexual relationships are being officially acknowledged, we have to follow the same rules as regular ones. I can't stay in the Thirteenth." The rules were fairly strict with regards to taichou. The lower ranks could have cross-ranked relationships, as long as they were disclosed to the taichou and did not affect discipline, but the taichou himself could not. If something liked that developed, a transfer was necessary.

"Oh. I suppose that makes sense. It wouldn't look very good." Ichigo said after a moment and Starrk nodded. He was going to miss Rukia and his friends in the Thirteenth, but Renji was far more friendly now that he knew Starrk had no designs on Rukia. He thought he would fit into the Sixth quite well.

Fairly soon after that, everyone started saying their goodbye's. It was well timed… Netta was beginning to fuss and Amiko was following her sister's lead. Starrk just concentrated on calming the infants as his lovers gathered up the gifts.

"Thank you so much for this." Starrk said to Orihime. She'd been the one to put on the party. She smiled at him, dimpling. "It was a wonderful time." He really had enjoyed it.

"It's nothing. I'm so glad to see them!" She smiled at the two babies, who picked that moment to begin crying in earnest. "Oh, do they need a change?" She asked and Starrk frowned.

"Maybe… here, can you hold Netta?" With Netta safely held, he checked Amiko. "Yes, she does and Netta probably does too… a moment." He was getting good at this part of parenting. Some wipes and a bit of baby powder later, and a new diaper was in place. "There you are. Now for Amiko…" It didn't take long for him tend to her as well. With their needs taken care of, the babies soon began to calm. With that, they were able to depart. Starrk smiled to himself as they went back to the senkaimon, gifts in hand.

Soon they would be going to the party hosted by the Kyoraku clan. Starrk thought that Ishida's dresses would be perfect for it.

* * *

"Grandson, do you think I'm stupid?" The question was so unexpected that Shunsui just stared at his grandmother dumbly for a moment.

"Um, I… no?" He asked, bewildered. After the party, she'd sent him a hell butterfly requesting that he join her for tea. Assuming it had something to do with the fallout over his announcement of his sexuality, he'd immediately consented. She stared at him for a moment before heaving a small sigh and sipping her tea.

"Perhaps it's because you're a man. I know you're not thick. Shunsui, I've had six children, three of whom have given me grandchildren. I also have countless nieces and nephews." She said and he nodded, unable to see where she was going. "In that time I have become able to easily recognize the family 'look' in an infant. It's really quite distinctive. So I would like to know why my 'adopted' granddaughter is the splitting image of her namesake."

"…Coincidence?" He said weakly as she gave him a severe look. "I really have no idea." He said with utmost sincerity. From the look on her face, she wasn't buying it for a moment. Inwardly, he cursed himself… but how was he to have foreseen this? And even if he had, what could they have done to avoid it?

"You know, I would only have to mention my suspicions to the Council and they would order you to submit her to a blood test." She said and Shunsui winced. "The question of her paternity would be – "

"Please don't." He said before she could continue. For a moment, he thought hard. How could he salvage this? "Obaa-chan… will you swear, on the Kyoraku name, not to tell this to anyone?" If he could just get her to swear… she frowned a little at him.

"If it will not damage the Kyoraku clan, yes, I will swear." She said after a moment and he hesitated before nodding. That was the best he would get out of her. Glancing around, he tested to make sure the room had a silencing kido. It did… his grandmother was aware of the potential for loose lips among the servants, and generally took steps to avoid any problems.

"She is my daughter, but her 'mother' is Lupe." He said quietly and her eyes widened in surprise. "He has active royal blood and conceived the child along with Juushiro's."

"What?! How can that be?" She asked and Shunsui sighed before giving her the truthful story. In the thousand years he'd known her he'd hardly ever seen his grandmother surprised, but it seemed to be happening a lot lately. "I… let me see if I understand this properly. Lupe is actually the son of Aizen Sosuke and Hinamori Momo. He's also a construct with the DNA of Shiba Kaein, which gave him active royal lineage. However, he has no interest in freeing his father and just wants to live as a shinigami. He conceived your children and Urahara Kisuke delivered them. Is that right?"

"Yes." He admitted as she rubbed her forehead, looking like she had a headache. "Grandmother, we can't tell anyone. What they would do with Lupe and the children…" Shunsui was certain something ghastly would happen to Lupe. At the very best, it would be execution. At the worst, he might be given to Mayuri to take apart in an effort to understand the secrets of his construction. The children, he wasn't as sure about. But Shunsui felt grimly certain that the royal family would lay claim to them and spirit them away, to be raised in the Celestial realm. That would not be bad for them but he and Juushiro wouldn't see them again.

"Yes, I see… kami! Aizen's blood and yours and royal on top of it? Do you know how strong that girl might be?" His grandmother asked and Shunsui shrugged. He knew both their children would undoubtedly be taichou-class. It would be some time before they would see if either of them took after Lupe and, by extension, Aizen. "That's going to cause problems." She murmured thoughtfully and Shunsui nodded.

"We're hoping no one will really remember they were adopted, by the time the power emerges." It was quite likely that everyone would have forgotten about it, or just not make the connection. But his grandmother waved that away.

"No, you don't understand. Thinking like a man again… Shunsui, the clan WILL remember she's adopted. They won't want to make her the heir without our bloodline. If she proves to be strong, someone will surely suggest marrying her off within the clan." She said and he choked at the thought, his eyes widening. Was she saying…? "One of your brother's boys, no doubt. Oh dear, this could be troublesome."

"Kami." He breathed as he realized she was right. That was exactly what someone would suggest. "…Can I worry about this after she's out of diapers?" He asked plaintively and his grandmother blinked before laughing.

"Ah, you have a point. And there's nothing we can do about it anyway. Very well grandson, I'll keep your secret. But keep an eye on that young man! If anything goes wrong you and Ukitake will be in for it." She said severely as he nodded soberly. Shunsui had faith in Lupe, though. "Oh yes, that reminds me. Did you want to hear the story of how your great uncle died? It was really quite amusing."

"Um?" Amusing was not a word he often associated with death. But if she said it was funny, it probably was. "Certainly. How did it happen?" He asked and she smiled, sipping her tea.

"Well, he had a certain circle of friends he visited with regularly. Rather, ahem, different young men with a great fondness for sake." She said lightly and Shunsui was a little surprised. That had to have been a very long time ago. He was surprised they'd dared to meet openly. "They were a very select group… everyone knew about them but it wasn't talked about. I imagine there are still such things. Anyway, he went to one of their parties and got quite amusingly drunk. Alas, he somehow got the idea that he could stuff a chicken with snow. He kept taking it outside, stuffing it and bring it back in. And when the snow melted, he went back out to stuff it again. Finally he passed out in the snow and his friends were too drunk to even notice. And so he passed away." She said and Shunsui couldn't help but smile. That was a very silly and painless way to die. "Consider it a cautionary tale on the dangers of sake. Something you should keep in mind, perhaps, hmm?" She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling and he laughed.

"Oh obaa-chan! I have Juushiro and Lupe to drag me inside." He said cheerfully and she smiled, taking a tea biscuit.

"It's true, you have more sensible companions than he ever did." She said lightly. "But you still should do something about it. It's not good for you, Shunsui." She said in a gentle tone, looking at him with an expression of concern. He looked down, staring into his tea for a moment and seeing his reflection.

"I know. Lupe has been getting help for his wounds." He said softly. Lupe was mostly fine, but once in a while he woke up violently, remembering the pain and violation he'd experienced. "…But it's very late, grandmother. I don't know if the habits can be undone." Shunsui knew that time did matter in things like this. His wound had long since scabbed over and his coping mechanisms were firmly in place. Could any of that be altered in any way? He'd never really tried before. But how could he, when he couldn't even discuss it with Juushiro? His grandmother sighed.

"I don't know, grandson. But I know it can't happen if you don't try." She said softly and he nodded sadly. She was certainly right about that.

"You're right. I'll… try." Shunsui had no idea if there was any hope of success. He knew himself and knew if he was being honest, he would have to say he'd been a functioning alcoholic for at least half his life. Probably more. Juushiro would know. But he had a daughter now. Maybe it really was time to try to fix something that had been broken for almost a thousand years. Feeling a new resolve, he nodded sharply.

He didn't know if he could fix this but he knew he was going to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: And we're done! Did you like it? Did you? I like the idea of Shunsui being a functioning alcoholic with some serious problems in his past. ^_^ Makes him more human…


End file.
